Forums → The Tavern → The Funniest/Weirdest dream you've ever had!

I used to have a lot of weird and wild dreams when I was younger, but I seem to have lost them over the past half decade. Some of my favorites had to do with party monkeys, cat scans of the endocrine system, elvish princesses, and quasi-expressive goodness in many forms.

I had a dream where Johny Gat beat up this weird zombie in purple tights. I was like "Yo Gat, gimme duh blunt dog." And Gat tosses me a pistol that I can't grab normally for some reason so I had to grab the barrel and slide and use it like a club. I was texting Bruce Lee about defusing a bomb while looking for a 2D werewolf. I started freaking out because I couldn't find my lemonade. "I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT MONKEY STOLE LEMONS!" I kept calling the werewolf a monkey for some reason. Axton from Borderlands 2 wanted my number cause I was selling my couch. There was this piece of chocolate that this girl with black eyes and a really cute butt (don't you judge me) kept calling fried chicken. "Here I fried you some chicken like your mother makes." "Uh, ok......I think this is chocolate." "No it's chicken I killed it myself." "Then why is my chair dancing?" She started crying about a zombie that was walking in circles next to a cliff face so I had to go talk to the zombie and he wouldn't stop peeing. I think someone shot him then I got really tired so I layed down on the ground and the ground started sticking to me. This weird dude with missing teeth yells out "Git off muh land!" Then this fat dude next to him yells out "We gone get him real good Bubba." Then the fat dude started throwing dynamite and Solid Snake Said "SCREW YOU TO!" That's when I woke up. I walked outside and took deep breath then I just relaxed for a minute.

So, this is the weirdest dream I ever had:

I was alone, in the attic, with a girl no more than six. We were not related, and I was like "Wtf how you get up here?!" and then she was like shhh and opened the ladder hatch thingy to the next floor. as the girl climbed down, she suddenly grew and I knew she was 8, then I went down. We went into the only room we could, it was just a small room with a static tv, retractable couch, and a closet. We went through the next door on the other side to be in the exact same attic. We repeated this until she was 14, her growing 2 years each ladder. Then, the room changed. The girl who JUST entered, was missing, and the closet was a crack open, and blood was on the floor. I opened the closet, seeing the girl again at 6, then we repeated the process until she was 16. Then, of course, as in most dreams that involve females, she had a thing for me, and in the next room, the recliner had someone sitting in it. A big, fat man, watching the static. He got up after a bit, and stared at me with cold, black pits for eyes. and its mouth, the mouth was opened into a triangle like form (Like how flowers bloom, I think) a big purple tongue came out, and thrusted into the girls throat, ripping it open, and then I woke up.