Forums → The Tavern → Good jokes.....I dont really know...Enjoy!

Well, I hope you're all ready for a side-splitting session here. I've got all the best jokes.
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Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because if it was pepper water, they'd always be sneezing!
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
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So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
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Did you guys hear? I got arrested for dating a 13 year old. But don't worry about it, it's only a minor offense.
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Why wasn't the rabbit's beer very popular?
It was too hoppy.
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So a baker walks into a bar, and the bartender notices he has a black eye. So the bartender asks "What happened there? You got a nice shiner."
The baker replies "Oh, that's from my wife. If I get home late, she punches me in the face."
The bartender doesn't comment, and serves the baker his drink. After a few drinks, the baker leaves.
The next time, the baker walks into the bar with two black eyes. The bartender says "Jeez man, get home late again?"
The baker sheepishly grins and responds with a "Yeah."
Once again, the bartender serves the baker drinks until he goes homes.
The next day, the baker walks into the bar with a broken nose in addition to the two black eyes. The bartender can't stand to see someone beat up so bad, so he says to the baker "How do you put up with that wife of yours? She's beating you up pretty bad. Ever think of calling the cops or at least showing up at home on time?"
The baker sits down at the bar, orders a drink and downs it in one go. He looks are the bartender and says "I've thought about quite a few times, but I haven't done anything about it yet. I guess I just a gluten for punishment."

Dangit Devoid I just had these sides replaced.

Did you guys hear? I got arrested for dating a 13 year old. But don't worry about it, it's only a minor offense.

A man and a woman are fighting in court for custody of their child. The woman addresses the court, "Your honor, I carried this child inside of me for nine months, and I went through the most horrible pain I've ever gone through to give birth to it. I nursed it for a year, taught it to walk, talk, and use the toilet, all while my stupid husband was out drinking, working late, and having stupid affairs with women he barely knew. I deserve to have full custody of this child!" The judge asked the man if he had anything to say to this. The man thought for a moment, then said, "Your honor, if I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, who does the Pepsi belong to, me or the machine?"