Wow....so this is the famed tavern. Let me put on my Andrew "Enrie" Zimmern impression. Only happens once a year folks, and maybe that year if you are lucky is 2013.
Location:
The location is frankly awful, hidden away in a corner of a fairly popular street. A small door in a wall, with a plank of wood above it with scrawled out letters "Tavern". It's like they didn't even put effort into advertising this place, the regulars had to ask them to do this once right? Hidden away well enough that barely anyone knows about or stumbles upon it, due to poor advertisement and placement on the street. The main street of a nicely populated town no less! It seems the people that do discover it range from pretty **** stupid to pretty bright.
Food: The food is frankly lacking of imagination, and is pretty bland. The menu never changes, and the same things are popular. The regulars seem to always order the popular things, and enjoy them very very much. Which I don't get, don't they need some diverseness in their lives? When the Tavern tries too add new things to the list, the only people that go to it, (the regulars) sneer at it and do not even try to order it. They ignore it, and go back to eating their "superior" food. Even then, the regulars seem to ask for new types of food, but don't respect it when it shows up. So it's a perpetual state of moaning and groaning, and not trying new things, causing the food to always be the same and stale. But hey, at least the chefs have a lot of practice creating the same thing (kind of like copy and pasting) over and over.
Regulars: As said before the people who find this place sometimes are not bright, but sometimes are. A wide and diverse group of people from different backgrounds it's amazing that they all found this place. Makes me wonder how they even got to this town. Some of them are similar enough though, to form little groups. These groups are wildly different, some of them consider themselves better then the rest of the regulars, are elitist and eat only the best food from the tavern. But they are really eating the same food as the rest of the tavern. They ****talk and gossip about all the other regulars, but act generally the same.They are extremely cynical and haven't realized that most of their members are no longer regulars but still try to act like they have a lot of control over the tavern. Another group, is the exact opposite. They are all happy, favor role playing and are probably the biggest group in the tavern now. They even have their own little room in the back to talk with each other.They talk to each other like they want each others bodies, and I frankly don't know whether they have wild orgies down there or are just all weird. They seem to have some sort of huge leader-worship thing going on, with their leader praised every day. Honestly none of them are that unique, and frankly they kind of aren't the brightest stars in the galaxy.
Staff: The staff is interesting to say the least. Diverse just like the regulars, but thankfully not as simple-minded. Some of the staff haven't shown up to work for a long long time but are still being paid. Some of them are in the shadows, watching all of this going on, but not saying anything. Why don't they speak up? Talk to everyone and get opinions from the all of the regulars, and maybe just maybe change some of the regulars views, and let the regulars opinions change theirs. The staff have had their fare bout of spats with the regulars over the years, to the point of some regulars views of the staff to not be favorable. Such an example would be the firing of a staff member that was well liked and was honestly more well liked then a lot of the staff. No one knows where he went, it is like he fell in a void. I wish him all of the luck though. Some of the staff's reasons for being hired are kind of weird, but it somehow seems to be working out. but frankly no other Tavern would take them for these reasons, but I digress.
This has been a review of the Tavern by Andrew "Enrie" Zimmern's imposter.
