Forums → The Tavern → Return of the Attic Noise Maker

Well great, now everybody knows!

Not in the attic though. If the rifle was in the attic, the whatever-it-was would have access to it.

Not if the creature is stuck between the ceiling and the roof, unless that is where you decided to place the rifle, but the NRA strongly advises against that in their attic pamphlet.

DOES THAT MEAN IM ONE OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS??
!!!!

edit: Frank can be the side hoe in that story where pick got run over by a steamroller and became Clancy's pants! I'm a genius!

Well, then, it would appear now everyone who saw this is one of his closest friends Right Frank?

Anyway, when did this happen? Have you gotten over it? Is a lifetime enough to get over it???

edit: Frank can be the side hoe in that story where pick got run over by a steamroller and became Clancy's pants! I'm a genius!

You lost me at steamroller.

Anyway, when did this happen? Have you gotten over it? Is a lifetime enough to get over it???

The...THING....is still making noise. I think it will make noise until it breaks free (and kills us all) or dies from lack of food. I hope for the latter. I still have things to do in this life

Ts ts, haven't you made your roof Cliff Racer-proof yet? Must be one of those pests if you ask me.

Wow man nice meme arrows!!! Do you go on *whispers* 4chan too?? xDDDD

(happy noises)

"OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE"

But there's nobody living above me...

What do you think is going on in my house!?

Now that I actually understand xD

The...THING....is still making noise. I think it will make noise until it breaks free (and kills us all) or dies from lack of food. I hope for the latter. I still have things to do in this life

>be me
>eating cereal (cheerios, of course. Honey nut)
>eventually get to the bottom of the bowl..when I see IT
>underneath the mounds of delicious honey nut goodnwss, it just sits there
>Ragnorak couldn't hold a candle to this monstrousity
>some sort of bee looking.. THING
>Each second feels like an eternity at this point
>Longing for some sort of closure of my inevitable insanity, I begin to call out to it
>finally, it swivels towards me, cold eyes staring into mine. It speaks up, "read the first letter of each line"

>Be me 2 year ago
>Drunk at senior party
>Also stoned out of my mind, but we won't mention that (hush hush)
>Just having the time of my life
>See a cute girl sitting alone on the edge of the pool
>My thinking is like 'As a nice guy, I should let everybody have a fun time'
>Walk up while slightly staggering but otherwise sanity still slightly intact
>spaghetticoordination.png
>Trip over foot right as I get near her, fall into pool
>mfw I forget how to swim
>"Halp halp"
>Girl sees this, surprised for a moment
>Dives into the pool and drags me to the side
>omgthankyouforsavingmylifeIwillrepayyousomedaythankyousomuch
>Giggles and replies with an angelic voice, "No problem"
>At this point, I notice she is the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on
>Except she's not part of my school
>I try to act it cool but I'm pretty sure I was blushing like hell
>So we sit on the side of the pool, both of our clothes wet and clingy
>Notice a few of these girl's 'assets' huehue
>She has bright brown hair that flowed nicely and green eyes
>A cute button like nose and rose colored lips
>If I wasn't drunk/stoned, probs wouldn't have talked to her out of nervousness
>At some point, we exchange names and I find out her name is Sia
>We hit it off immediately, despite the fact that she knows (and points out to me) my state of mind
>To be honest, she's one of the most perfect girls I've ever met
>Funny, smart, cute, and knows lots of pop culture references
>She's also a girl gamer, but prefers to be called gamer because there isn't any difference between the genders in her words
>All in all, a very cool girl
>At this point, 3 hours go by of us just sitting and talking
>I don't even notice, cause man this girl is fun to talk to
>A bit sobered up by now as well, albeit not much
>Suddenly, I get a great idea
>"You want to walk around in the forest, Sia?"
>"Forest? Sure, might be fun"
>To make it clear, the senior party took place at a friend's place who so happened to have a rich condo near the local forest
>Walk around in the forest, sparks are flying
>At this point, I'm a bit nervous as I'm sobered up
>I want to ask this girl out
>Of course, my alpha overpowers my beta and I manage to keep myself from pissing and running away
>Bout to pop the question when I hear something
>rustlerustle.bmp
>"What was that?" Sia speaks up before me
>"...Must've been the wind?" I try to assure both her and myself
>Forest is known to have had serial killers bury their victim's bodies here
>rustlerustle.bmp
&gtantswet.gif
>"Uh... let's leave..." Sia asks nervously
>"...Good idea"
>Start walking for a few minutes
>I realize something
>"Uh... do you know the way back?" I ask Sia
>Look of horror on her face.webm
>"No... I thought you knew?"
>"I was following you..."
>audiblegulp.bmp
>As if on queue, we hear loud rustling right behind us
>OH****.jpeg
>"RUN!" I call as I take her hand and start bolting it out of there
>I don't even look back cause NOPE NOPE NOPE
>spaghetticoordination.png from earlier today activates and I trip over a tree branch
>OHGODNO.gif
>"RUN, JUST RUN WITHOUT ME"
>Though reluctant, Sia manages to nod and runs away
>I look back and I find an enormous 7 feet something dark figure arise from the bushes and branches
>On closer inspection... he has blood on his shirt and a gun holstered on his belt
>"Hey kid... are you lost?" He says with a viscous grin
>I start backing up "P-Please"
>"Don't be scared now, I'm here to help."
>"D-Don't touch me"
>He pulls out the gun from his holster
>"Don't worry, I'll put you out of your misery"
>I pinch myself to see if this is a dream, but to no avail
>This is real
>I'm going to die
>The man aims the gun at me, terrified look on my face
>Then I smile
>Because I know
>I'm bulletproof
>nothing to lose
>Fire away, fire away
>Ricochet
>you take your aim
>Fire away, fire away
>You shoot me down
>but I won't fall
>I AM TITANIUM!!!!!!!!!!

mfw I am Sia and I write a song

tl;dr rip :^)))) try again tomorrow

I didn't follow tl ;dr. I read it all!

This is what happens when you engage in debauchery! Every after school special was right!

Someone got too into it

I'm going to leave this alone before I say something controversial and make smoke come out of Frank-sama's nose.

smoke come out of Frank-sama's nose.

What am I, a demon?

BREAKING NEWS: Attic Noise Maker pooped some babies and now every day at 7:00 AM I hear chirpins and screechins. At midnight, I hear scratching as the little *******s nestle in my ceiling.