Well guys, this is it. It's been five years to the da since I first joined. So I thought I'd give a little overview of what's happened since then.
When I first started I'd just turned 13. I was depressed and basically had no friends, also rather annoying. As time went on the only thing that really changed is that I got more and more depressed, but I also grew up a bit as well. I didn't really have any real friends for several years, but one thing I did have was Armor Games. AG was on many occasions the only happy thing I had each day. It was the only place I ever felt like I'd belonged, or been even slightly respected.
About 2 1/2 years ago my depression further nose dived, as I recall that's around the time my activity here started to really decrease. I don't look fondly back at that time, I can't think of a single thing I had back then that I wish I still had. At that point I mostly just kept to myself, but starting then I started using my situation to help me grow up. A lot.
About a year or so later my self esteem hit rock bottom, but I did get a job. I really didn't have any sort of people skills so the only way I could come up with to get to know people an make something of mysefl was to relentlessly work. And I did, I've been told, and am still told, that I work harder than anyone else there. After a few months of that I finally had regained some small sense of self worth, and even made a few friends, better friends than I could have possibly hoped for.
A little while later I developed a panic disorder, but oh of the blue I wasn't depressed anymore, a pretty good trade off if you ask me. Anyways, I made more friends, started to think something of myself and by that time I my personality and how I thought was completely different. In fact even now there's still about a 6 month long (give or take) cycle where I grow up and change to the point where I see myself essentially a different person ever ~6 months.
After all that, I stopped (mostly) having panic attacks and went on to anxiety attacks, which were far worse. A couple of months ago I'd finally decided enough was enough and I couldn't live like that anymore, even though I did still consider myself to be happy. So now I'm on antidepressants, which have been doing a great job so far.
Anyways, I just turned 18 a few weeks ago, I'm taking my first GED test to graduate from highschool and I've been promoted at my job. But nowhere near having a girlfriend yet 😢. There are, of course plenty of other details, but I think I mostly highlighted it all.
Part of why I haven't been posting much at all is work, part of it is having friends IRL now, /land partially because I'm so much different I don't even know how to act here anymore. But nonetheless, I want to say thank you to each and every one of you for helping me get through some really tough times and sometimes being the only thing I had to look forward to.
I'll try to be a little more active. You guys have done so much for me, it's the least I can do. Thank you, all of you.
Hey there ! I haven't meet you, but I'm glad the community helped you in a way, I've personally passed through dark times too so maybe I can understand you in someway.
About depression I suggest you to don't takes antidepressants and things like that, these things are just killing your mind if you want my opinion, assuming depression is essentially based on your mind, nothing could help you, the key is to see what's the problem and work on it.
About the girl friend don't worry you seems to be a good person, you're young I'm sure you will meet someone who share many things with you in the future, that kind of stuff fall on you when you're waiting the least for ^^
I've changed a lot too through the years, and I'm glad you have changed in a good way too.
It's like a phase I think we all passing through it, so enjoy your new "you"
Just an advice I can give you, try to see what you have and enjoy it instead of seeing what you don't already have.
I wish the best for you. See you another time maybe ^^
I'm glad you're better now, Manly, and I think that instead of taking antidepressants you should try to make yourself happier, I don't rely a lot on medicines.
Thanks guys! Don't worry, I only went to medication as my last resort, I always hated the idea of it. I did and am trying to do everything I can to make it without the medication, but I think the anxiety is a physical problem rather than a mental one.
But it's all good, I've been doing really well compared to before.
