I have come to show you all the truth about our lives, the universe the end of the world. As of yet, there is only a sparse section of the holy text done. But more is to come! Have faith. Join today, and learn the truth!
The Book of Breakfastarianism
Commandments: And the Lord spoke thusly:
1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast. 2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious. 3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts. 4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast. 5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.
The Beggining
In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling. Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast. He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and satiated, the Lord then went on His way.
hhhmmm, Can I be in other religions at the same time? as far as I can tell there are no conflicting ideals between this and the church of the friendly Orange, The orange after all is one of the great breakfast fruits.
The walls have been hearing many questions about the one true religion. I figured it was time to let all those ignorant of our ways have a chance to read up on our beliefs.
I am now a follower. I can see it. Light a bright light coming over the sky. The bible of breakfestarianism will be created in the near future. Compleate with the Lord's scriptures and many delicious recipes, every one will own a copy. There will no longer be undercooked eggs. No longer will their be crusty pancakes. No longer will breakfest be skipped. The world will finally unite, and proclaim breakfest as the most important thing in life!
Anyone who has questions about the faith and such should refer to the first few pages. Much is explained, I promise. ^_^
Hmm, I read the first 3 pages, and was unable to find anything pertaining to the type of breakfast, ie hot or cold. Personally I love inhaling a nice bucket of cereal whenever I can and agree that breakfast is indeed the best meal. However I noticed that many are referencing pancakes and full englishes, which I rarely have time to make regularly. Are hot breakfasts mandatory in order to join?
Then you are not a follower. Go do some worshiping, and beg the lord to spare you when the rise of Breakfastarianism come. Or else, you a just another doomed soul...
