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ok you have to read the whole thing to get it ok

doctor: ok your mother in law fell down the stairs at you house but we found her in the house and we got her to the hospital

guy: well that sucks

doctor: yes, yes it does, but i have some good news and some bad news

guy: ok, well whats the bad news

doctor: well, your mother in law lived, infact she'll probab;y live 20 or 30 more years, but shes severly injured and she is paralized from the neck down, so you will have to feed her baby food for the rest of her life three times a day. this has also made her unable to control her bowl movements so your going to have to change her diper every single day for the rest of you life.

guy: well whats the good news?????

doctor: im just kiddin with ya, she died



if any or you reconized that, yes it was from one of the blue coller comedy tour, but its still funny

giving my dog a bath and i wonder what would she say somthing like this get me the @#*$% out of here X)

Q. Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic the same?

A. They both look good until they hit the ice. xD

Click the link and you'll laugh.
[url=http://www.nochucknorris.com/]

Some fun things to do the next time you're on one of those long international flights to kill time...

Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.

When two people kiss in the in flight movie, belch real loud.

When there's any nudity, hoot really loudly for a few minutes.

Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.

Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.

Hijack the cockpit and, over the loudspeaker, announce that the first class passengers and luggage are to switch places.

Run down the aisle screaming, "He's got a bomb! He's got a bomb!".

Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.

"Accidental" soda spill on the dork next to you.

Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't".

Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!".

Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to you.

Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.

Start a hot dog stand.

Steal businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it.

Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put super glue in your underpants that morning.

Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.

Show off your Batman underwear.

Switch accents and see if anyone notices.

Sneak into the cockpit and hit the warning alarm.

Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger.

Go into the cockpit, flick on the intercom light, then loudly inquire as to why the fuel dial says "e".

Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do they call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world.

Don't use deodorant, then "accidentally" stick your armpit in someone's face.

Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it.

Snort when you laugh.

Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same.

Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!".

With a desperate look, ask the stewardess where the bathroom is, then look relieved and say "Never mind. Do you have any towels?".

Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!".

Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Kevin Costner or Goldie Hawn (This best then the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)

If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.

Pretend you're flying the plane.

Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong to a biker gang.

Take over the plane with a toy gun.

Yell to someone "Is it time to hijack the plane yet?" (Note: Do this when there are stewardess nearby).

To the person next to you, say "It's amazing that they didn't notice the grenade in my luggage.