Forums → The Tavern → A Day in the Life (Guide to Living Lige)
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I am making this guide due to popular request (from one person, he's really cool and important though) and due to the fact that it won't threaten my 1337 status. This is a bit like my Guide to Being Awesome Bit it will be more in depth, and more amazingly epic and godlike.
First I'm gonna start off by giving you a look at my normal day.
Every day, I:
1. Wake up
2. Fall out of bed
3. drag a comb across my head
4. stop making Beatles references
5. eat a heart-healthy breakfast of Ligeisawesome-O's
6. get in my Flying Astro Van, and protect earth from extraterrestrial scum that try to invade our planet along with superman, and Sylvester Stallone (from when he did Rambo 1)in a space suite.
7. fly home and check all the fan mail that I get from hot skinny girls between the age of 17 and 25, and the president of every country in the world about how amazing I am.
8.Play some frolf with Tom Hanks and The Pope.
9. Smoke a bowl with Tom Hanks and The Pope.
10. Play another round of frolf with Tom Hanks and The Pope.
11. Go to my mansion and play guitar.
12. Eat dinner. Today, I had gold encrusted lobster.
13. Go on the internet and spread my awesomeness to everybody.
14. Go to sleep, and dream about kicking Nicholas Cage in the crotch.
Now, at this point, you might be saying, "BUT LIGGGEEEE. HWO DO I BEKUM AWSUM ENUFF TO HVE A 1337 DAY LIEK URZZ!!!??!?!?!"
Well that's simple, you just have to follow these 3 easy steps.
Step 1
Be born good looking, and with above-average sized genitalia.
Step 2
Follow the rules stated in my Guide to Being Awesome.
Step 3
Buy my motivational DVD for just 12 easy payments of $29.95 plus shipping and handling.
Now, some of you might not be able to follow these steps, but there's still hope for you. (not really, but false hope is better than no hope at all right) All you have to do is soak yourself in gasoline (or any other flammable liquid) and then light a match. Then all you have to do id pray to your chosen deity that you chose the religion that will send you to the heaven where you get to do all the cool stuff that I do every day (Ligeism).
I hope you have enjoyed my guide, and I would now like to give a shout out to NoNameC68 for giving me the Idea to make this guide, and for deleting one of my posts so that I can keep my 1337 status.
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