these are just a bunch of short stories and other hooblah that come from my mind into this thread. With the special help of some people (Nicodemus), some of these stories will actually get written, and not take up space in my mind, and drive me to insanity. Enjoy.
I actually love the poem, it's really good! But I prefer the first one, the chant seems.. odd. The first version is alot more poetic. Your work is good! Theres room for improvement, but I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks! i put both versions up there to see which one is better. The second one seems to tie it all up but the first one just ends... well, any comment is better than no comment and so im glad for your oppinion. --- anywho, ive decided to call the WWII/Ardennes forrest series Death Valley, after a spot in the ardennes forrest line where several thousand American and German soilders died...sever rather gruesmly (getting trampled, run over by tanks, etc...) Read 'Citizen Soilders' by Stephen Ambros for a better description of the basic storyline. --- wonder what nicho's gonna think . it was actually partially inspired by him and another friend i know, Jon, whos obsessed with lycans.
im thinking about making it into a ballad, many poems that turn into a long song/poem. I started writing it after i saw 'Underworld: Rise of the Lycans', and i never finished it. Found it last night and wrote the last 2 and a half stanzas.
Read the second stanza, and you'll understand why the end of the poem doesnt flow. I wrote it pretty fast, as it was already out the door before i caught it.
yea it was already gone before i had even started it but im gonna revise it cause i think i got a view words mixed up especially in the last line with 'this' and 'is'
Sitting here today, Wondering what price I have to pay. A though, an idea, its all I want! But still the words just sit and taunt.
And still, I ask, shall I continue? Before I chance to offend you? Words that used to flow quite nice Now instead have turned to ice.
The inspiration that was my flame, Has gone out, and i must blame; Was it fear or lack of skill? These harsh words oh do they kill
Alas, I know not my fate And I fear that I may be too late Tendrils escaping afore they begin And to this all i say is 'fin' --- (revised edition)
Authors note: Where i come from the words 'talent' and 'lament' are pronounced the same, so in my region, they rhyme. This has been edited out due to confusion
