Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

And that would be unfair but who like being fair =P

I declare this contest Closed

Each person has wrote
Their best Haiku about Dusk
Judging is soon

I'll get around to it within the next 24 hours, or thereabouts.

Let the judging begin, soon, very soon, okay maybe not so soon.

Avorne, the last line in your Haiku has only 4 syllables, not 5.

So, is there a merit reward yet?

Thanks Possum - it was late and I was tired, still no real excuses: I'm sorry.

Anyway, Judging will be in roughly 12 hours.

@GuitarHero: Where have you been? There has been a merit prize for a really long time.

Judging may be up a bit sooner than expected.

Awesome. I can't wait much longer. I'm running out of root beer.

The Fading Hope award goes to Wolf1991
The creep of shadows
Draw ever closer, but still
The sun glimmers...just.

I enjoyed this Haiku - it had a nice grasp on the theme but also served to give dual mental imagery of hope fading too - the description worked also to sharpen that imagery.

The Blunt award goes to thepossum:
Darkness beginning
It is the end of twilight
It is known as dusk.

A simple Haiku - straight to the point and certainly on the theme. I especially liked the third line - which is perhaps the bluntest thing I shall ever see in a Haiku... Ever.

The City Streets award goes to Ernie15:
Streetlights shining bright
Reflect off the dimming sky
Neutral glows are born

Indeed a fine Haiku - the mental picture the description within this Haiku creates is sharp and well-formed. Each line serves to strengthen the Haiku as a whole and the choice of words perfectly fits.

The Not-Technically-A-Haiku-But-What-The-Heck award goes to alexstargazer:
The horizon dims
The darkness surrounds everything
The earth can now rest

The second line lets the poem as a whole down. However, it's still quite good and you can definitely get a feeling of resting/calming down as you read this.

The Resurrection award goes to freakenstein:
You've had your day, Soul
Now you may rest, sound in peace
and wait for sunrise

I found this Haiku to be quite moving really. It seems to be sad at first - the ending of a day. However, the third line speaks of sunrise and a new dawn - 'sunrise' is especially moving in this Haiku.

The Yes-It-Is-A-Correct-Haiku award goes to slayguy8:
Night and day combined
The sun soon leaves the grey sky
Soon total darkness

This was a good attempt at a difficult topic to capture. While it wasn't quite 'there' it certainly has potential - keep trying! The Haiku focuses on the actual shifting of day to night which is nice.

The Minus-Minus award goes to Savingthedream14:
Day and night whoo hoo
The darkness is everywhere
I can't see nothing

Aside from the use of onomatopoeia and double negatives - this wasn't not good. A refreshing Haiku in that it relies more on the senses (particularly sight) to put across a description of Dusk in Haiku form.

The Captain-Obvious award goes to Nater:
Theres a difference
Between dawn and dusk, my friend
dusk is at night. Duh.

The delicate interplay between... Nah, who am I kidding? Dusk is at night! Did you guys NOT know that? I was under the impression EVERYBODY knew that! Heh, I liked the Haiku - it encompassed both dawn and dusk and (helpfully) pointed out the difference.

The Basin award goes to vinster132:
With Partial darkness
Brightness flows away today
Between day and night

This Haiku is quite evocative of a basin or a sink. The dark and oily night begins to flow in - forcing the brightness of day outward - as well as hitting the theme of Dusk it juxtaposes something different in as well - very effectively done too.

The Awakening Night award goes to samdawghomie:
The gleaming sunset
Nocturnal creatures awake
Night sets upon us

I loved the anthropomorphic personification of night itself within this Haiku. As well as the awaking of nocturnal creatures this Haiku gives impressions of the night itself awakening like a creature.

The Let Me Get My Dictionary award goes to Zaork:
Conflagration ends
Vulnerable time stands still
Honour the gloaming

It is a strangely beautiful Haiku but it feels like it tries too hard. The Haiku has depth and meaning but it lacks in... Simplicity?

The Fanfiction award goes to Saving123:
Day and night they meet
And have the greatest affair
And then dusk is born

I joked about it being fanfiction but it does have a romantic feel to it. The passionate meeting of day and night and the resulting birth of dusk - it all feels rather erotic... In a good way.

The Eternal Cycle award goes to aknerd:
The sun dies again
We do nothing but look on
For now, it returns.

Although this is definitely a sad Haiku it has the strange ability to give me a feeling of hope. The sun is doomed to die at the end of each day and yet each day it returns once more - One of the more emotional Haiku's certainly.

The Candle award goes to EnterOrion:
Creeping horizon,
Snuffs out gods' burning candle,
Waits to be re-lit.

This is one of the Haiku that almost made it but not quite. I found the description of the sun as a candle to be exquisite and imaginative and the Haiku as a whole to be delightful to read.

The Childish Darkness award goes to TuxedoPenguin:
The guard leaves his post
No one to protect this land
Night comes out to play

I'm afraid the award titles are becoming less imaginative but it certainly fits this Haiku. The night is portrayed as like a child - playing in the unguarded land - free to do as it wishes.

Now, onwards to the ranked Haikus!

Winner of the Bronze is FallenSky:
Spent life in his feet
The old man peers at the sun;
It's dusk for you too...

A really quite sad Haiku - juxtaposing the end of the day with the end of a life. Especially emotionally effective because of the perceived conversation between the man and the sun.

Winner of the Silver is Katrina18:
When Mother Nature
Casts her blush on hushed waters
We breathe the shy dusk

It was really hard to decide between this and the winner for first place. Each individual word is absolutely perfect for the Haiku - it weaves together a beautiful picture of Dusk and personifies Mother Nature as a living, breathing woman - absolutely exquisite - You should be proud this was on par with the winner.

The Gold and therefore the Merit goes to MRWalker82:
When the day sun sets
Under the horizon's edge
Bright sky becomes dusk

This Haiku does something that only one or two of the others do - it speaks to me. Unlike the others, however, it speaks volumes to me - stories of life, of day and night, of warriors and hunters returning home and of peace - all in 17 syllables.

Well done MRWalker82 - go collect your Merit, you've earned it!

Now, the next theme shall be: Freedom

The deadline date will be: Monday August the 9th(unless stated otherwise by the Judge)

And the judge will be: Decided soon

Until next time - well done all and Happy Haiku'ing.

Freedom eh? Lesh do it! *puts on hat*

This is OUR land;
Heavy is our spirit,
Dim is your success.

Freedom pshhht easy.
Thanks for the FanFiction award haha I liked it made me laugh. =) here I go.

The sunlight burns my eyes
My shackles hang loosely off
My wrist. I am free.

I'm glad you liked it. I chose an 'easy' topic for this one because I noticed we had a few newcomers post last time around and I wanted to encourage growth and development of the contest. That and the fact that it's always a good topic for any sort of artwork.

Cry "Freedom" and fight
Break free from oppression
Take back what is yours

I think your second line has 6 syllables MR