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Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Haiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)
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A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
Well, that said, heres the rules:
1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)
Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...
The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond
(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'
- 5,299 Replies
i don't think we should be taking any more entries...since the 'judging' had already been finished...and christmas has come and gone...
I really wanted to wait until Fallen judged it, since this is his final entry for quite a while and all, but it really has been a while in a different case! I guess I should take the reins again, since I judged the entries when Fallen had that unfortunate accident.
I shall have the entries up and the winner posted...at dawn (EST)! Until then, cross yo fingas.
If you make an entry hurriedly (but awesomely!) I will let yours in like I let Ghgt's in.
I have about 4 hours until I post them so I gotta judge them as much as possible. Since 4 hours is dawn for me.
Time for the judging to begin! Afterwards, we shall enjoy a new year of new haikus! Hooray!
The "Unlawful Gift" award goes to: thepossum!
Jolly old St. Nick,
The one that breaks and enters,
To bring joy to all.
Is Santa a good person? Or a bad person? He brings gift to everyone, but breaks and enters peoples' houses without permission. I guess everyone wants this? What if the sleepers believe it's Santa Claus, but then rush down to reveal he's actually a couple of robbers going to kill them? That wouldn't be very nice at all. Where am I going with this, you say? I say Santa's a burglar! He doesn't work and he's gotta have materials for his gifts somehow!
The "Pious" award goes to: waluigi!
giver of the gifts
making children so happy
father of Christmas
This one paints a pretty picture for me, but it doesn't really flow well, since you made your haiku stop every line. The word "so" doesn't really fit in with the rest of the line.It doesn't really connect. A good flow makes a good haiku! That was a pretty good run of bad luck, though, since you had to revise your haiku multiple times.
The "trolololololol..." award goes to: Endscape!
on top of my roof
the fat man has landed so
ho ho ho he goes.
Fat man named Santa Claus, doing whatever Santa Claus's do...He's in your roof, giving you gifts. He's in your house stealin your cookies. This haiku describes the process of what Santa does while on your rooftop, and it describes well.
"The Sick, Diabetes Man" award goes to: Strongbow!
Sweat trickling down
Insulin in his pocket
Wheezing on my roof
Maybe he should quit his job and have of the elves take over? Although with the growing demand of presents and the increasing population of the earth, that sack of gifts would get pretty heavy...This haiku presents an alternate side, most likely the hardwork that Santa goes through while he drops gifts down our chimneys. It also invokes great imagery. Might wanna give him a jetpack for future visits though. Great haiku!
The "closed-minded parents" award goes to: IcyIndia!
Will he come tonight?
Or is this just a lie? No
Parent of mine cares.
Considering Santa has been delivering gifts for thousands of years on the same day, I'm guessing yes! He will come tonight at Christmas Eve! Is the child in this haiku anxious of Santa's visit? Or just skeptical?
The "cold winter night" award goes to: lokj3!
Ice on pine needles
Can he hear the Christmas bells?
Can anything not?
Great imagery! I'm not sure who the "he" is referenced to, but the sound of the Christmas bells, most likely described from being on Santa's sleigh, is very powerful indeed! The third line, however, doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the haiku. Something to describe the Christmas Bells, or something to do with Santa's methods of gift-giving, would have made this a great finisher! Otherwise, good work!
The Klutz award goes to: dudeguy45!
Walking on my roof
Chris Kringle breaks a shingle
Who cares? I get gifts
Very naughty Santa! I'm sure the thousand dollars in gifts should suffice. GIMME! The haiku describes a very aloof Santa Claus without a care in the world, which is put together very nicely.
The "heartbroken chump" award goes to: KingLemon!
The joy on his face
Upon meeting Santa Clause
"Okay next!", he said.
This must not be the right Santa Claus. The REAL Santa Claus would NEVER be this evil D:
I can just imagine the sheer happiness of the child, probably very young, getting to meet Santa Claus for the first time, but then gets thoroughly rejected by him as "just another kid". How cruel! The haiku paints very good expressions, which is essential for a poem that doesn't have as many options as most. Good work!
The Fence award goes to: Cormyn!
on pins and needles
has Cormyn been good enough
or was he naughty
When Santa Claus was making his list and checking it twice, he came upon the name "Ian". He then grew a massive migraine, for he was at a loss for words on the sheer neutrality of his alignment. Then, after hours of thought, Santa finally came to a decision. He then hopped on his sleigh and went to work. Only the judgment of Santa's warm, fuzzy-but-fierce hand can decide whether Cormyn gets a remote-control tank....or coal. Oh, and the youtube video.
The "fail Santa" award goes to: PoetryHere!
Caught him jumping down,
my chimney, fell on the ground.
leaving presents there.
Seriously Santa, how can you just leave the presents there? Any child can tell you the presents go under the tree >
This haiku gives the reader sheer surprise. I'd be surprised too if a guy happened to fall down my tree. He'd be pretty big too so if he was a real burglar, I wouldn't be able to defend myself. The only thing I can say about this is that a haiku is already limited. Giving it more pauses disrupts the flow and wouldn't connect as well as it could have.
The Contributor award goes to: jdoggparty!
With a giant bag
and help from the little ones
he makes Earth go round
Santa helps everyone by refreshing their spirits to greet the new year! It's a mutually beneficial relationship: Santa produces and delivers the presents, and we take the presents. Wait. That doesn't sound mutual at all.. Well I suppose we give him milk and cookies to go with him on the trip.
The Lightshow award goes to: Ghgt99!
The wonderful sleigh
With it's sparkling, ringing bells
Santa Claus brings joy
Santa cannot do all his magical wonders without his sleigh to transport him through time! Too bad it's mostly in the air. And that the children are sleeping when he flies. I haven't seen his sleigh before, but I know it exists....I believe! Also, very good imagery! I imagine a sleigh decked out with lots of electricity. I just hope that Santa keeps the reindeer from gnawing on the wires.
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Alright! *claps hands* It is currently the time that I said I was going to send the entries, so it is now time to announce the winner!
The winner of this Haiku Contest is dudeguy45! Go notify a moderator to receive your winning! Be sure to tell him/her that I judged in place of Fallensky too.
Now I gotta make a theme....something we haven't done in quite a while...
The new theme is: "Medieval Times"!
The deadline is: Friday, January 14!
Should be an interesting take on the contest. Happy Haikuing!
Yeah! A new theme. I'll get to work on it shortly I suppose, though this theme seems to be hard to make a haiku for.
A knight in armor,
Preparing for a joust duel,
This one he can't lose.
Would you consider duel two or one syllable? It depends on how you pronounce it I guess.
A knight in armor,
Preparing for a duel,
This one he can't lose..
Pick whichever suits your tongue.
I believe that duel is two syllables, so it would be your second poem then.
I didn't know that duel could be said both ways (after browsing dictionary.com)! I guess both haikus can be acceptable, although the (dyoo) duel may be the French pronunciation. Correct if wrong!
I say duel with one syllable, Harry Potter does, a bunch of cowboy flicks do, I think he'll get away with it. I personally think the second one flows better, but that's saying duel with one syllable. It just sounds weird o.0
/feedback
Come forth, be knighted
Continue on your journey
Conquer lands afar
That last line took forever to write. Another of my ideas was 'Servo Fidem, boy'. Not sure if I'd get away with Latin, but it's 'Keep the Faith'. I was sort of basing this on my school motto, and also that Robin Williams film. Kind of glad I changed it.
I also didn't delibarately start all the lines with 'Co...' :S
Carpe Diem... Seize the day, boys...
A lowly archer
representing royalty
overthrows the French
Robinhood :P
Here is my real one:
Kingdoms shalt battle
Whilst China prepares thou
The ninjas kill thee
Ninjas? Medieval? Hmm..
I prefer my second one a lot better.. and I've always pronounced it du *pause* el.
Congratulations Dudeguy!
Medieval Times...hmmm seeing as I am from around that era, (well late Middle Ages more towards the Renaissance), this should be fun! Ah the memories.
(i am already thinking of a quite humorous haiku which won't be my entry :3)
Thread is locked!