ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

Judging is in conception; as I; I'm giving birth to it; as I; did you ever witnessed someone give birth; it's dirty; leave me alone for a while; me and my semicolons.

dudeguy45
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dudeguy45
2,917 posts
Peasant

dad, mom, please, please?
I want a beautiful tree
with a cherry on top?

1337Player
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1337Player
1,766 posts
Peasant

Judging is in conception; as I; I'm giving birth to it; as I; did you ever witnessed someone give birth; it's dirty; leave me alone for a while; me and my semicolons.

Never ever use that metaphor again, please.
FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

Never ever use that metaphor again, please.

And I was proud...now I'm even more!
Four hours I've been at it; four hours!! And I'm not done yet because submissions this week are that great.

You give me work pals...

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

And I was proud...now I'm even more!
Four hours I've been at it; four hours!! And I'm not done yet because submissions this week are that great.

You give me work pals...


I feel you man, I feel you.
1337Player
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1337Player
1,766 posts
Peasant

And I was proud...now I'm even more!
Four hours I've been at it; four hours!! And I'm not done yet because submissions this week are that great.

You give me work pals...

I feel you man, I feel you.

Wut ._. Sorry, I just didn't feel like coming up with a response to that.
thepossum
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thepossum
3,035 posts
Nomad

dad, mom, please, please?


That's only four syllables, good sir.
Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

Wut ._. Sorry, I just didn't feel like coming up with a response to that.


It's a judging thing.
Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
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Jester

It's hard to imagine what kind of work this one is putting forth. But yeah, judging is hard to go through with, and *cough*judge*cough*

:3

Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

This interests me so expect to see me next round

FallenSky
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FallenSky
1,813 posts
Peasant

The hivernal breeze award; MoonFairy

It's not yet Summer
Pink frills so dense in the tree
Blizzard of petals

I like the way you mix the seasonnal winds of spring to the graceful hues of summer's cherry trees. Though infinitely beauteous, a cherry tree's petals are frail even when ruffled up together in a bunch. The rhythm could be a little better on the second line; the use of some punctuation could alleviate the clotting in the flow. It could be as simple as adding a semicolon after the ''ink frills'', thus introducing the situation with a light pause rather than clogging up the poem. In all other regards though, it is a very good Haiku; the vocabulary is quite vibrant; as is the imagery. Stylistically perfect!

The productive award; wolf1991

Gilded pink blossom
Waving within the June wind.
Soon to bear filled limbs.

In a subtle and easygoing fashion, and all in the crammed litlessness of seventen meager syllables, you take us through the journey of a cherry tree's blooming; up to the day when it is filled with delicious cherry. Even in such a beautiful poem though, I can still perceive the fatality proper to a fair amount of your writings. Awesome work, as ever.

The empathy award; HahiHa

Frail, light pink blossoms
Appeasing aggrieved spirits,
Absorb red anger

It's wonderful how frail and beautiful things have the power to ease churned emotions; it's what we call aesthetics. Humans should truly be glad they possess sensitivity to beauty. Nature is quaint and soothing in a myriad of different manners; those who can appreciate it are often the merriest persons. Very nice Haiku; good job.

The fruitless love award; Parsat

How quick blossoms bloom!
Dainty pink amid red leaves
Falls like rushed romance

Rushed love can be compared to a delicate cherry blossom; fragile and prompt; quick to wander off in an erratic course until it reaches ground and rot in a monotonous agony. Love is ever beautiful until it loses its color...That is the perfect example of how a traditionnal Haiku should be assembled; an opinion tainted with candidness on nature and its charms; a delectable taste of how we can relate to it. Amazing job Parsat.

The snob honey award; Freakenstein

Taste the sweet honey
that the gift-giving mother
shares with love and joy.

I heard that cherry honey was even more exquisite than traditionnal bee honey. The Haiku could use a less tenuous link to the theme, but other than that it's a pretty neat piece. Makes me think of how humankind used to live in symbiosis with nature, rather than exploiting it mercilessly. Good Haiku; reads very well but as I said it would benefit from a better relation with the theme.

The long awaited season award; waluigi

pink blossoms blooming
ushering out the dreary cold
spring is upon us.

Cherry blossoms are the bringers of spring; they announce the end of lady death's winter. I like how you make the very blossoms play the role of usher to escort the cold out themselves. It gives them all the more credits for the splendid seasons they give us time after time. Maybe if I lived in Japan, I would learn to actually love spring...Very good submission, nice job.

The love is a gown of pretty fowers award; MRWalker82

Early blooms of pink
Beautiful satin flowers
Harbinger of love

Yet another vibrant Haiku about cherry blossoms. They tell tales of love and passion as they bud, bloom and finally wither away. The imagery is quite imaginative, depicting the flowers delicacy with such a fabric as satin. Love is one of life's many season; the one where pink blooms on a lush tree. Great Haiku from our precedent winner.

The airy dance award; Pazx

Taken by the wind
Bringing innocence and youth
Gracefully dancing

I can clearly picture the young pink petal carried by the gentle winds; bringing remembrance of older days to the elders and the passion to drive innocently forward to youngsters. Age matters not with nature; there's always something compelling to it. Artistic, well thought.

The remembranch award; thepossum

Gentle sakura,
Once high on a lofty branch,
You withered, I died.

A nice poem that goes to show nothing lasts forever. EVerything is bound to wither with time, men and trees alike. To never take anything for granted is the lesson I get from that powerful Haiku; nice job.

The poor's riches award; 1337player

The scent fills the air,
leaves float down and touch the ground.
I lean back on it.

It's moments like these that are sublime enough to melt anyone's contemporary heart. A call to all who forget to enjoy the littlest pleasures. After all, it's often when simple that life proves to be the most enjoyable. Nice use of the theme.

The petal dance award; KingLemon

Fragile petal
plunging to the ground madly.
Once pink now is red.

Easy reference; cracker for that one. Another good take at the theme, and while it has been used much already, it's always a nice theme to read about. Cherry trees are admittedly very frail and delicate, and that's what makes them so likeable and valued. I won't repeat myself again about how nature and mankind are very much alike. Good haiku. If I missed something, please post on my profile; I remember you said something about getting the reference so...yeah that's about it.

The potted tree's award; Zoark

Shielding protection
Overborne weak thrive sweetly
Joint victims of birth

Cherry trees, among botanists, are well known for having a short lifespan because they tend to catch a lot of diseases. I get the feeling you're talking about a very well maintained tree; one which has received utmost care over time, and can thus grow lush and thrive smoothly even if weak and frail. All the tree's frills are as many humans born in terrible circumstances; they only need a chance and some extra care. Good work as ever.

The historical award; BlackSkullDragon

Brought from Giresun
History's old pink witness
Plenty it has seen

Honestly, I had to do some search for that one, because I had no clue whatsoever about Giresun. It's an interesting take at the theme, giving the cherry tree somewhat of an old wisdom gained by experience; ancestrally. Nice Haiku.

The wooden muse award; Graham

Evanescent belle,
In the sea of apathy,
Weep for those who can't.

That's...an amazing piece Graham...thanks; so much said in so few lines...Apathy; the dreadful disease of modernity. Ignored even with its timeless beauty, the cherry tree will bear, and cry its leaves for all those who didn't pay attention. A glimpse of how we can be heartless, placid and stay-at-home while there's so much beauty out there; so much simple pleasures that we forgot. Nice poem.

This time around, I ask of you all not to take judging too seriously for it was so hard to decide that the winner may have been chosen by sheer subjectivity. Since we're not very demanding on technicalities, I'll have to choose whichever poem used the theme in the most artistic way possible, which of course is a perspective that differs from person to person.

So, out an incredible amount of formidable submissions, the winner is...God it's almost as flipping a coin :P...

Okay my fisceral feeling tells me to say: Parsat!

I wanted to give out special mentions, but you all did so well...Well, next week's theme shall be: Horizons

wolf1991
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wolf1991
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Farmer

I'm beginning to think you're paranoid a mob of angry Haiku-ers will comes after you for not giving them first place.

Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
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Jester

Horizons? OOOH! Sounds pretty. I'll keep that one in mind while I'm writing my argument paper for Evolution vs. ID. "Broaden your horizons?" Hyuck hyuck hyuck!

KingLemon
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KingLemon
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Nomad

Grr, I honestly thought (if he would have gotten reference) that i would have won ...I am considering that my best Haiku so far
Anyways congrats Parsat!

FallenSky
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FallenSky
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Peasant

I'm beginning to think you're paranoid a mob of angry Haiku-ers will comes after you for not giving them first place.

I'm far, far too concerned about your well being :333333333333333333333333.

Ouf, that felt good, Moon shall be proud of me...

Grr, I honestly thought (if he would have gotten reference) that i would have won ...I am considering that my best Haiku so far
Anyways congrats Parsat!


I'm sorry, but even so, your best haiku was, in my opinion, one of those you haven't submitted. About a noise in a forest and animals running if I'm right...Even so, it is all a very subjective matter that shouldn't be taken so seriously. I thought I had a shot at the last poetry contest, but as Parsat thaught me; it may sometimes be just a matter of the judge's likings.

Maybe we should consider a twofolded judging, with two people working together. I know this has been considered in the past.
If anyone's interested in the judge position, we could work this out via Msn and come out with a judging with more than one perspective. Just drop by my profile and let me know, although all interested people should be aware that they'll miss their chance at winning merits if they're judge.

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