Ask away in here. Before you all go accusing me of being some loser, just don't. I know I'm not the girl master, but I do know a lot about them, why they do certain things that they do, so on and so forth. So don't be shy =D
Alright, I've got a question (it's not for me as I am a girl in a happy relationship):
My friend, we'll call him Matt, has been "in love" (more so infatuated) with one girl for almost two years now. We are seniors in college, and the last gf he had was in high school. He is so sweet, and I think he is very handsome as well, but has no self-confidence in himself(so he has no idea how wonderful he is or how lucky a girl would be to have a bf like him). He plays basketball with the women's varsity team to help them at practice, and his crush is on the team. They haven't spoken much. She actually lives in the apartment above him. She is apparently very shy and it is hard to talk to her alone. He is also wicked scared of rejection. He is struggling because he would love to hang out with her, and possibly take her out on a date.
Here are my questions: 1) Please share how I can boost his confidence, and help him muster his courage to talk to her!
2) Do you have any ideas on things to ask a girl to do that isn't so obviously interpreted as "I am asking you out?" I was thinking he could invite her and her roommates over for dinner, or watch a sports game on tv...
Just keep in mind that he is almost 22 and hence some mature answers would be appreciated!
He is so sweet, and I think he is very handsome as well, but has no self-confidence in himself(so he has no idea how wonderful he is or how lucky a girl would be to have a bf like him).
Hah, you just described him the same way my (now current) girlfriend described me
Well, honestly, to have him build some more self confidence I would recomend trying to egt him to start hangin out with friends more. Compliment him on things he does like, how good his manners are for example.
Try to start loosing up the tension he has being around people from the shyness. That answers "1"
now for "2" Well, not much you can do like that without making it kinda group thing. you know, go hangout in the park, play some frisbee with friends.have a little hang out at ones house or dinner, and have some board or card games ready. social activities basicly, she'll start picking up on it the more she's around him, and it will help with her shyness too. Also you could try goin to a movie, but that might be a little more direct way of letting he rknow..
those are just some ideas and my opinion, hope it helps.
1) Some way or another, he needs to realize that his shy ways are depreciating his social abilities. Bjiscuit's ways were pretty good. Get him so see how fun it is to meet new people, etc. (most likely)
2) I would use (as I have before, guilty of an old tradition) school games (ie: school boys' basketball game) assuming she'd like it. Of course, if he speaks to her as little as I think he does, there'll need to be an intermediate step for them to get to know each other well enough to go to something together. I used to have these exact problems, and the way I got over them is that I became friends with the girl first, attempting a simple friendship, and with luck she liked me back, and now it's a thriving 2yr+ relationship.
and duh, the girl may not be interested in every situation, but getting to the point where you can have strong (flirty if necc) conversations is 80% of the battle.
I much agree with you guys! We've (my buddies and I) have been working on the self-confidence for awhile. I was just wondering what you guys thought, especially from a guys opinion. So, thank you! My guess is that he had a harsh break-up in the past and it has hence shaped him for today. We've got a senior cocktail next weekend, but he doesn't know her well enough to ask her to go with him. But I'm thinking he might be able to ask her to dance! Sadly, I've never even met the girl (there are 2000 students at my college...it's understandable if I don't know one of them!!) I feel like it would be easier if a girl that was our friend was her friend as well. Then we could know more about her interests than what he has found out at basketball practice. Worst case, in April, just a month before we are done with college... he is straight up asking her to the senior formal (but...he doesn't know it yet!) = )
1) Please share how I can boost his confidence, and help him muster his courage to talk to her!
actually,you dont,i think you should act as a girl ambassador and introduce them to each other,while your happy relation guy should act as a boy ambassodor,thats what i did to my bro,cos he has a crush on my friend's older sis,and hey,i'm super neutral
2) Do you have any ideas on things to ask a girl to do that isn't so obviously interpreted as "I am asking you out?" I was thinking he could invite her and her roommates over for dinner, or watch a sports game on tv...
simple! does christmas give you any idea of anything,go on a group party!(small one!or mission failed...)what else?and heres the nasty part,leave em alone for a while and see what happens,someone can act sick,one can suddenly plan to visit the false sick,and/or the others can lose them,before joining back with em,and remember,it's basically an act to get them together,
