That's probably because of the religious aspect. Atheists would most likely dislike it, and be afraid to voice their opinions so as not to appear rude. At least, that's the way it is with me. Although, I thought the last line was genius.
The flow of the poem is a bit spotty. Poetry has to have a distinct flow or lack of flow, and I'm not really feeling that here. Some of the stanzas feel disjointed.
Too Christian for my tastes(being an agnostic) and it's kind of hard to ignore the extreme Christian influences and whatnot, but as a poem it's pretty good, albeit it falls out of rhythm a few times. I especially liked the last line. But, I, being a Grammar Nazi, have found a few errors that I would like to point out, so you can fix them. =)
People keep talkign about this "Lamb"
Talking typo, lamb shouldn't be capitalized.
And asked each other why their here.
Should be they're, not their.
"But now its time for you to depart."
Should have an apostrophe; like this: "it's".
"Into the firey pits of hell." A firey burning sensation
Fiery, not firey.
I said as I fell to my knee's He looked at me with those sad eye's So simple are these step's to do
No apostrophes are needed here; take them away.
Admitting your sin is the first one. Then believe He was the perfect One
Not really a mistake, but just wanted to point out that you rhymed "one" with "one". Lol.
Because of your Hypocracy
Hypocrisy, not hypocracy. And now that I'm done pointing out all that, my final conclusion. The grammatical errors didn't affect it negatively as much as the unavoidable religious message in it. It's good poetry, but it is honestly very distasteful for agnostics and atheists. You're good; maybe you could write another poem, one that doesn't force religion into itself as much.
Also, don't even try to keep this thread on topic without MOAR ARTZ!!! because this is the art forum and the art forum is a churning mass of offtopicness.
