Please, if you don't like it tell me why and give me some ways to fix it.
I'm going to give away the ending and stuff since this is only an idea, but if people like it I might make it into a full on story.
In the future, a man named Desmond (place holder name) awakens to a world empty of people. He is in a city that seems to have been destroyed by a massive explosion.
By accessing several terminals throughout the story that allow him to relieve past events in the story that take place in the city.
The city is ruled by a strict dictatorship that has managed to end war, global warming, terrorism, and disease world wide. Although the world is peaceful, doing so requires a strict attention towards its population.
The cities inhabitants are not born, they're grown. When they're fully developed babies, implants are put in their brains and they are put into stasis until needed. When they are needed they are "activated," basically given life and is given to a family to care for.
The society in the city is similar to a bee hive. Everyone is a worker drone whose job plays an important role in keeping the city together. Everyone has a camera in their brains for the government to monitor their actions. Should they begin to commit crime, the government will deactivate that person, in essence kill them.
When a person is no longer able to do work, they are deactivated. No one can live luxuriously. As soon as you cannot do work, society no longer needs you.
Because of the oppression of the government, a rebellion has been formed called "Counter Strike," (not very original name I know, but makes sense,) that enlists people who are willing to join and then "disconnects" them from the rest of society so that the government can no longer watch them or deactivate them. In essence, they're free of the governments control.
The main character (not named yet) becomes a part of this rebellion and helps Counter Strike to create a weapon that will be able to destroy the government. Since guns and explosives are extremely hard to come by, this is the only means they can do it.
The weapon is far more powerful than the rebellion realizes, however they use it anyway. What the weapon does is switch the polarity of the poles, an event called "geo-magnetic reversal" and makes the earth vulnerable to colliding meteors from space. Counter Strike has tracked a meteor that is headed for the country the city is located in (not sure which country) and will have the polarity of the poles switched long enough for a meteor to destroy the city and the government.
Although the plan succeeds and the government is destroyed, the meteor proves bigger than Counter Strike intended and wipes out all life in the country. Then, subsequent barrages called "the storm of the cosmos" of meteors further bombard earth and wipe out all life.
Desmond has been kept in stasis but was randomly activated 100 years after the geo-magnetic reversal.
As it turns out, Desmond finds other survivors somewhere who managed to survive and thrive while Desmond was in stasis. After that the story ends.
This is pretty cool. I can understand most of the stuff that government prevents, but disease? I can understand if they deactivate them at the first sign of sickness, but it's kinda impossible to completely free people from germs and bacteria and stuff. That's really my only problem with this story.
Most definitely. I think I'll be filling in more plot details before I get to work on the actual story, but more will come.
I can understand most of the stuff that government prevents, but disease? I can understand if they deactivate them at the first sign of sickness, but it's kinda impossible to completely free people from germs and bacteria and stuff. That's really my only problem with this story.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that the world is peaceful. War is gone, global warming ended, and diseases haven't been totally eliminated from the world, but the city has very good hygiene and have developed lots of cures from the most common diseases. And yes, they would resort to deactivating someone with cancer or something else that's harmful.
There's peace, but there is also hardwork, oppression, and a strict government to balance it out.
It would be a good idea in general and would translate to a good story, but to be honest, I don't like it. I mean, I like the idea, but it's not...your idea. It's not original, at all. You know?
As an actually writer im proud t say you have a real story going here for you. Further more i am very happy to join this community and you'll be seeing a lot more from me
I mean, I like the idea, but it's not...your idea. It's not original, at all. You know?
I see what you mean. However, I'm the kind of writer whose stories are formed through inspiration given by books, movies, and other sources. Without them, it's tough for me to make a story.
Alright...well, all I'm saying is that I don't like the idea of copying really, but as they say, no idea is really original, and I think it would become a good story. So it gets the thumbs up from Moat.
