There is this girl I met my senior year at college (a few months ago). We got along well, and we are good friends (with benefits) lol and we hung out a lot. We also got very physical a lot. We did use protection, always, and we really have no reason to worry about a pregnancy. However, this brought up a conversation between us.
Now, this girl has had a lot of screwed up, idiot guys in her past. I mean like dead beat morons and stuff. (there's more to it but I won't go into that) She always says "oh i wont report them for sexual harassment, he's got a wife and kids it would ruin his life!" (This kinda sums it up)
So now we get into this conversation about "what if she got pregnant". I am now 22 years old, and graduated with a bachelor's degree. I have a full time job working security at a mall, and I am working on getting a better job (with my degree, etc). This girl tells me that she would not tell me if she was pregnant (with my child) because it would wreck my life....
I already told her when she asked, that I would want her to tell me. I know her screw up guys of her past would maybe want to not know and avoid responsibility. I told her however, that I would want to know, and be there for my child, etc.
She now says that she would wait, maybe 1 or 2 years AFTER the birth to tell me. I think this is kind of screwed up. I don't want a child now, but if she got pregnant from me, I would step up, be the father, take responsibility, and be in my child's life. But she wouldn't tell me about it???
Has anyone ever had this problem happen? Or even heard of this? This is so new and a little ridiculous to me. I really don't understand.
I guess this thread is kind of just random, and to see if anyone has ever had this problem, or has any insight into the situation. Maybe, like why she might be doing this, or what may be going on???!!!
Save sex for marriage. Geez. That is why I am saying it doesn't matter if she tells you. She is the chick who has gotta birth the kid, and if you want her to tell you, marry her. Why the hell are you posting this on a site full of teenagers in the first place?
As was stated earlier there are some people who are in their twenties.
So basically you just need to sit down and talk with hr. Don't make it to uncomfortable for her or you and keep a clear head about the conversation. If you find that she is pregnant then tell her you are going to help take care of your own child. If she says no then just kepp telling her that you will. I cannot tell you how to properly handle this type of situation but I can provide some sort of information because I have seen things similar to this.
Also sorry for double posting. Accidental not intentional.
Save sex for marriage. Geez. That is why I am saying it doesn't matter if she tells you. She is the chick who has gotta birth the kid, and if you want her to tell you, marry her
So since we aren't married, it's not my child? Why should I get no involvement in the kid's life, just because I am not married to the mother? What is your problem here?
Not only are you missing the point, you are being ridiculous.
Why the hell are you posting this on a site full of teenagers in the first place?
Have you been to the WEPR thread and stuff? Just because you are immature (I'm just assuming since you said this) doesn't mean everyone is, and that they are all teenagers on here unable of saying anything on the matter...
If you take me being responsible and saving sex for marriage as immature, you are an idiot.
Most users on here (not all) are 13-16. Some are above that yeah, but still. They are teens either in middle school or high school.
And yeah I am on there alot. I wasn't trying to say that it isn't your kid just cause you aren't married to her. If she has your kid and doesn't tell you, what are you going to do about it?
Like wipe said, tell her calmly. Just ask why she wouldn't tell you. We threw out guesses, but none of us know for sure. Asking her why is all you can do. If she did have a kid, and you turn out to be the father and she won't let you help take care of it, take it to court.
I got hyped up over this cause you two are FwB, and I realllllllllly don't like people that won't make a commitment, but they just have sex. I see that as something you should have with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
Here's my piece of advice: Don't worry. You would be able to tell if she was pregnant anyways. If she doesn't want you to know, I wouldn't care. When she starts bugging you about child support, then use that as an excuse to get into the kids life if you want, or use the "She never told me so I didn't know" defense.
Court won't always do something though. It could be a good try but when you tell the judge "I want to pay child support but she won't let me" what do you think the judge will say? I really want to know actually your comments on this thread have been most interesting.
Why wouldn't she tell you? This makes no sense to me
seems like shes a nice girl and doesnt realy want to ruin his life. but you should tell her to tell you because it is your "fault" really if she gets pregnant since it is usually the man's responsibility. though i hope everything works out for you
you do know that whenever you "do it" with your wife later on in your life, you're not going to picture your wife, rather than this girl? It will ruin your life.
dude this is a game site its teens talk about you problems with this girl and you family
It's the tavern my friend, a place to share stories. :P And yes, it is a teen website, but sex is a big part in teen life nowadays. I find it to be a very viable topic.
And now to actually get on topic... I do find it kind of strange, I would like to know if I was going to be a daddy too. Having my kid hidden from me for the first 1 or 2 years of my life is just gonna complicate things for the girl, and the child. She really should just tell you if ever it happened.
