Today I actually put titles on my poems, because I hadn't before.
I don't have a favorite poet, mainly because I don't read very much poetry. If it's a book written in poetry, I like it, but otherwise, no.
Anyway.
You may critique/review it if you like. Or give feedback, etc. Actually, please critique it. And give feedback. Please, please, give me reasons for your opinions. I like in depth comments. (Who doesn't?)
Anyway(for the second time):
Here's the first.
Inspirat
âBe the change you want to see in the worldâ ~ Mahatma Ghandi
Life does not spring from death Freedom is not a force that breaks chains Love will not erupt from hate Power does not flow from weakness
You must make your life what it is be it happy or sad slow or fast light or burdened
You must have willpower to fight against what you do not want life does not happen, before your eyes while you watch and be lazy sitting on a couch eating Doritos
Yes, you may watch television and see what you think is life but you will never be exhilarated sitting down
You need to be the one standing at the edge of the cliff trying to keep your balance while someone is pushing you down You need to be the one rushing down the slope in makeshift skis trying to get away from your captors
No house will rise from the rubble if no one works to build it you will not eat if no food comes to your mouth
What you want will not happen if you do not make it so. (I was too lazy to finish the title)
I like this one alot, moreso than many of the others. (I have read other bits of your poetry from time to time, I happen to have the habit of lurking but never posting. Since you bothered posting on something of mine I figure I shoudl return the favor )
It's a bit like having a problem that you KNOW you cannot fix it. but your going to need somebody to help you.
Maybe they mean something. It's possible they don't.
To you who is the "they" here, and the last part is confusing because if they're wanting to help they almost certainly mean it.
To you who is the "they" here, and the last part is confusing because if they're wanting to help they almost certainly mean it.
What? Could you explain that a bit? I don't understand...
Thanks, though, for your post. You were quite right. Except that I'm not really trying to fix the problem, just trying to cope. Unless that's what you meant...
I wish you would continue it.
Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna finish that. Sorry. I'm on to new things now.
I've got a new idea now, I'll try to write it out.
Sometime, forever. We'll be together. Don't forget when We used to bend. Do you remember when We could be, then, Forever, together. We'll be there, sometime.
Ooh, I like that. It's not really the most meaningful, but the writing itself was done rhyming; the rhyming works alright, and the rhythm works. I like how the second last line repeat the first two, it really ties the poem together nicely. Every other sentence starting with 'we' is also a nice touch. However, it's not too V-Dayish. This isn't really a bad thing, but I can imagine reading this months after now and it still having the same effect.
We should start a riot You and I We should fight. We should shout, deafen those who Take our words a way. We have voices.
But how can I shout when My throat is scratched so much, When you forced me to swallow back the Stones in my throat, stones of Fear and sadness. They are so sharp, cutting into me, And now I can't speak.
Food for thought. Only stones making my stomach heavy, Tearing at my insides. Only the thoughts that I try to escape. They're destroying me.
And still I can't shout. There will be no revolution. No turning from my thoughts, No running from my life. There will be Nothing.
