Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The writings of IcyIndia!
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Compilations for the win!!
Today I actually put titles on my poems, because I hadn't before.
I don't have a favorite poet, mainly because I don't read very much poetry. If it's a book written in poetry, I like it, but otherwise, no.
Anyway.
You may critique/review it if you like. Or give feedback, etc. Actually, please critique it. And give feedback. Please, please, give me reasons for your opinions. I like in depth comments. (Who doesn't?)
Anyway(for the second time):
Here's the first.
Inspirat
âBe the change you want to see in the worldâ ~ Mahatma Ghandi
Life does not spring from death
Freedom is not a force that breaks chains
Love will not erupt from hate
Power does not flow from weakness
You must make your life what it is
be it happy or sad
slow or fast
light or burdened
You must have willpower
to fight against what you do not want
life does not happen, before your eyes
while you watch
and be lazy
sitting on a couch
eating Doritos
Yes, you may watch television
and see what you think is life
but you will never be exhilarated
sitting down
You need to be the one
standing at the edge of the cliff
trying to keep your balance
while someone is pushing you down
You need to be the one
rushing down the slope
in makeshift skis
trying to get away from your captors
No house will rise
from the rubble
if no one works to build it
you will not eat
if no food comes to your mouth
What you want will not happen
if you do not make it so.
(I was too lazy to finish the title)
- 159 Replies
You're confusing me.
Up there *points up*. The story combination I requested.
could you maybe perhaps kind of sort almost nearly check out the new work i maybe perhaps kind of sort almost nearly wrote?
Did you really just do that?
Or is this just an illusion?
This moment, this feeling
It could shatter,
as easily as what you did.
So don't leave me here.
This little bubble of happiness
Encases me in its isolation,
Its blind joy,
Destroying every other concern that dares
to exist.
Did you really just do that?
Or is this just an illusion?
This moment, this feeling
It could shatter,
as easily as what you did.
So don't leave me here.
This little bubble of happiness
Encases me in its isolation,
Its blind joy,
Destroying every other concern that dares
to exist.
This is quite intriguing. It's interesting to see that a positive emotion, happiness, is have a negative effect. That effect being the ignorance of the present situation of the speaker. Well done.
Thanks. Continuing that idea:
____________
Happiness
Slips away from me,
Exploding in my face.
Effortlessly disappearing,
While emotion takes its place.
This pain I've tried to hide,
These thoughts I once defied.
Now, everyone is strong enough
And finally I've cried.
Escaping the festivities,
Needing to be alone.
It's nowhere near happiness,
But it's some peace that's all my own.
Maybe I'll tell someone
Maybe I'll let them know
But after everything's over
I'll never let it go.
Will happiness ever return,
This tired traveller who's abandoned us?
Possibly I'll learn
to accept
The gifts that time brings to us.
I liked it but
Exploding in my facedoesn't really make sense as
slips awayand
effortlesly dissapearingdon't tie in. Do you know what i'm talking about? I'm not sure if I do
Um, kind of. Like, how can happiness explode?
Or whatever I'm describing.
I think I was describing life.
How it's so sudden, how I'm fine one second and can't hold myself together the next.
Hence the explosion.
Ok, wait. I just read your post fully, and understood it. But I care about the last bit enough not to erase it.
slips away
effortlesly disapearing
Those two are happiness.
And.
Exploding in my face
Wait, this *is* happiness. Like a bomb. It's safe, at first, but I know it's gonna break at one point. When it does break, I'm dead. It exploded.
And inspiration strikes again,
Pounding its bloody fist against my mind,
Creating an empty sound that echoes within my skull.
And sticks and stones fly again,
Breaking those inside and out,
Making their emotions bleed just as their body
Suffers, this tortuous existence called
Life.
And dreams drift again,
floating out the window of time,
Lazily accumulating, like snow.
And ice breaks again,
Sending dark ripples outward,
Ending a life in one short breath.
Forever passing, time
is our enemy
and our ally.
We take from time what we need,
And send back what we do not want.
We may either board this boat,
or send our belongings down the river,
Never to be seen again.
So, before you lose the dream,
Before the ice breaks,
It's a race against time
to take what you will
and give what you must.
Fighting my demons,
Immersing myself in pain,
Anger is all that I know.
Maybe
I'm just a self-pitying girl
Whose problems
aren't really issues,
Whose demons
Lay weak and dying.
Maybe,
I've got the flames of hell
in my soul, tearing me apart,
Killing me a bit more
with each blow.
Maybe my demons are frozen,
trapped within time,
glaring daggers at me
for I am weak.
So, continuously I fight this battle.
Continuously I am insecure,
Balancing on unjustified pain.
I´ve readed all your poems IcyIndia, and I love them! please write more...
Thanks guys.
And of course I'll keep writing.
PS: For all you people who read my stuff, a critique on one of my newer poems would be much appreciated. Actually, I'm requesting it. So. Please.
zOMG pg 10 blew my mind. Great job. I know I haven't been keeping track of this, but you are doing great. I can't critique this. I can't taint it with thoughts from a crap poets mind.
Might I advertise this on my page? I want to add a list of Threads that I think people should read. This would be on there, if you allow it.
I can't critique this.
Argh.
a crap poets mind.
!!!!!!!
Yeah, it's fine if you put this on your page.
Thanks anyway, I've actually decided to go a bit more internal with my writing. I think it's better than before.
Do whatever you want. It'll still be great. Danke for letting me use this, hopefully you might gain more followers. You need them, because this stuff rocks.
I loved all the recent poems. Your skill seems to be growing.....can I have some to farm it?
"Fighting my demons" was excellent and it seems as if you could remold it into lyrics
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