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MageGrayWolf
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MageGrayWolf
9,462 posts
Farmer

I'm sitting here joining in on a Blogtv charity. And we just made a god.

This God is a Rainbow colored Brazilian shemale, that wields a Dildo that shoots lighting. This God is not racist or vengeful, and there is no afterlife.

The commandments of this god is as follows
1. Think for yourself
2. sort your own **** out
3. no killing
4. no stealing

This god doesn't care if you honor your parents or not, doesn't care if you lie, doesn't care if you covet your neighbors *** and doesn't care if you commit adultery.

So in under an hour that's what a bunch of atheists in a charity can come up with by commity.

Oh, and thanks to artistic rendering this god has no pants.

  • 255 Replies
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

Thank you.
It's on my profile now. If you guys want to sign up, feel free to post on my page.

wil4813
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wil4813
256 posts
Nomad

Sweet! We officially started our religion! xD

Kasic
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Kasic
5,552 posts
Jester

Guys! Guys! We're doing this all wrong! Remember...it has to be self-contradictory, and where's our Holy book?

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

The Five Commandments:
1. Don't kill
2. Don't steal.
3. Eat Sandwich.
4. Don't be serious.
5. Because I said so.

Kasic
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Kasic
5,552 posts
Jester

Beholdeth! I have been given a vision of the 6th commandment of (I can't remember the name >.&lt!

6. Slather the top slice of bread only with Mayo, and only with Mayo for thou who break(ith?) this shalt be dealt death.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

And then there was seven, and the Seventh Commandment came into being.

7. The sandwich shall be split in multiples of two, for two is holy to all that is sandwich.

Kasic
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Kasic
5,552 posts
Jester

7. The sandwich shall be split in multiples of two, for two is holy to all that is sandwich.


Aya, a wise commandment, for now we shalt delight in two triangle sandwiches, crafted from one square!
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

True, true indeed. And shall we delight in the Flying Spaghetti Monster as well as the Sandwich God? Or shall the Sandwich God remain the only true food God?

wil4813
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wil4813
256 posts
Nomad

Aya, a wise commandment, for now we shalt delight in two triangle sandwiches, crafted from one square!

The more cuts the holier, but you have to go by multiples of two. If it is cut into fours you are closer to ASDLSAV2.
Kasic
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Kasic
5,552 posts
Jester

Yes, by putting the flying spaghetti monster between two pieces of garlic bread, he can in fact become a sandwich.


Thus, by becoming sanwhichified, through the process of sandwhichification, is the ultimate path to holiness.
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

The ninth commandment arose from the mist and spoke (I don't know...commandments can speak for themselves) "Thou shalt prepare the holy sandwich most carefully or face the wrath of the Sandwich God.

wil4813
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wil4813
256 posts
Nomad

Thou shalt prepare the holy sandwich most carefully or face the wrath of the Sandwich God.

And if thou prepares thy holy sandwich without care they shall be smited by the Sandwich God.
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,936 posts
Peasant

All of this is going on my profile, by the way.
If you ever feel lost in the way of the Sandwich, go to the High Priestess' (me) page and thou shalt find the Commandments there.

wil4813
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wil4813
256 posts
Nomad

I shall add them too!

Kasic
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Kasic
5,552 posts
Jester

What's the word for a hermaphroditic priest? I'm just curious, because wouldn't that be like our version of Jesus?

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