When you get a call, and you know it's from some service that you don't want, how would you answer the phone? Be creative!
When I'm sure it's a telemarketer I like to answer in a cheery tone, "City Morgue: you bag 'em, we tag 'em! How can I help you?"
or if I'm unsure and it turns out to be one, I let them go through with their pitch/spiel, then I use a southern accent and say, "Well aint that a co-winkey-dink, I'm selling [whatever type of product they're selling(ex: toilet paper)] too! Mine's called [very strange fake brand name for that type of product(ex: Scratchy's Rough Stuff)]. Would you like to buy some? It's only [very high and wierd price (ex: $37.37)] per unit."
It would probably go a bit like this: Telemarketer: "Hello, would you like to hear about our amazing new-" Me: "THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, PIRATE SO BRAVE ON THE SEVEN SEAS, A MYSTICAL QUEST TO THE ISLE OF TORTUGA, RAVEN LOCKS SWAY ON THE OCEAN'S BREEZE." Telemarketer: "I'm sorry would you still like to hear about our product?" Me: "oh yes I'm sorry please continue" Telemarketer: "Our wonderful new device can do blah blah blah blah, and if you order now you even get an extra stupid device thing, all for only-" Me: "NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART, FROM THE DAY HE WAS BORN HE YEARNED FOR ADVENTURE, OLD CAPTAIN JACK GIVING THEM WHAT FOR-" Telemarketer: "I'm sorry are interested in our product or not?" Me: "...No, LIFE IS A BOX OF CHOCOLATES AND MY NAME IS FOREST GUMP-" Telemarketer: *hangs up*
Telemarketer: Hello, would you like to buy (product name here)?
Me: No, but would you like to buy (insert fake product here, and go on some crazy pitch for it). All this can be yours for only eight easy payments of 19.95. Plus seperate shipping and handling.
Telemarketer: Hello would you like to buy this product.... Me: Sure I'll buy it. Telemarketer: Great gi- Me: Before I tell you anything I jut need to know is this product is capable of killing a person? Telemarketer: Yes, I guess. Me: I'll take 20! Telemarketer: Uhh, why do you need to know this type of information on our product. Me: Check the news in around a month or two. You'll understand why!
I try to sell them something. I almost got a guy to by a toaster, a coffee brewer and, a can opener. Start speaking in Spanish, it confuses them. As soon as they start talking I just start shouting in Spanish. Play elevator music into the phone, if there still there in 5 min I pick up the phone. I tell them I am a secretary for some famous person (who isn't there right now, duh)and ask if I can take a message. My friends and I always have a lot of fun.