When you get a call, and you know it's from some service that you don't want, how would you answer the phone? Be creative!
When I'm sure it's a telemarketer I like to answer in a cheery tone, "City Morgue: you bag 'em, we tag 'em! How can I help you?"
or if I'm unsure and it turns out to be one, I let them go through with their pitch/spiel, then I use a southern accent and say, "Well aint that a co-winkey-dink, I'm selling [whatever type of product they're selling(ex: toilet paper)] too! Mine's called [very strange fake brand name for that type of product(ex: Scratchy's Rough Stuff)]. Would you like to buy some? It's only [very high and wierd price (ex: $37.37)] per unit."
Tele:"Hi. Would you be interested in [whatever]?" Me:"Oh, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later." Tele:"Uh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that." Me:"Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home." Tele:"No." Me:"Well, now you know how I feel."
My friend says that when a telemarketer calls him he just starts a conversation about something else. He said one time he was on the phone for like an hour talking about a football game and the different types of music.
One could answer something like, "Does it take long? I'm busy eviscerating that door-to-door salesman right now, so if you could shorten it before he gets cold, I'd be glad..."
Or anything that would creep them out and make the cops visit you I personally don't say anything special though, I tell them I'm not interested, thank you, bye.
me:hello TM:yes I am calling to tell you about (blah blah blah) Me:splendid, I'll take 20. TMgasp) I'll put you down right away! Meops, sorry. I'm not 18 fool! *slamm phone down on receiver*
I usually don't answer them but if I do I have done the Seinfeld one that indie55 posted. Or there is always the option of swearing in foreign languages.
Telemarketer: "Hello, would you like to hear about our amazing new-" Me: "THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW, PIRATE SO BRAVE ON THE SEVEN SEAS, A MYSTICAL QUEST TO THE ISLE OF TORTUGA, RAVEN LOCKS SWAY ON THE OCEAN'S BREEZE." Telemarketer: "I'm sorry would you still like to hear about our product?" Me: "oh yes I'm sorry please continue" Telemarketer: "Our wonderful new device can do blah blah blah blah, and if you order now you even get an extra stupid device thing, all for only-" Me: "NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART, FROM THE DAY HE WAS BORN HE YEARNED FOR ADVENTURE, OLD CAPTAIN JACK GIVING THEM WHAT FOR-" Telemarketer: "I'm sorry are interested in our product or not?" Me: "...No, LIFE IS A BOX OF CHOCOLATES AND MY NAME IS FOREST GUMP-" Telemarketer: *hangs up*
Lol I love that song! Michael Bolton is sooo funy though!
Mine would go like this: Telemarketer:He- Me:Hi Telemarketer:Would you want- Me:Would I want what...I hope it cheese... Telemarketer:Sorry it's not cheese- Me:You know I like pepper jack, chedder, mozarella, american, andy kind of cheese except swiss. Telemarker:Intresting, but- Me:I wonder if Swiss cheese is from Sweden... Telemarketer:It is, but- Me:Oh are you selling some? Telemarketer:No, but- Me:I said I hate Swiss! *I hang up*
