When you get a call, and you know it's from some service that you don't want, how would you answer the phone? Be creative!
When I'm sure it's a telemarketer I like to answer in a cheery tone, "City Morgue: you bag 'em, we tag 'em! How can I help you?"
or if I'm unsure and it turns out to be one, I let them go through with their pitch/spiel, then I use a southern accent and say, "Well aint that a co-winkey-dink, I'm selling [whatever type of product they're selling(ex: toilet paper)] too! Mine's called [very strange fake brand name for that type of product(ex: Scratchy's Rough Stuff)]. Would you like to buy some? It's only [very high and wierd price (ex: $37.37)] per unit."
I start talking in german. It's not my native language, but I took some classes so I know how to pronounce things properly. (Semi properly, it HAS been a while) So I just read a random paragraph from a german website.
As Ernie said quite a while back, the best way to deal with a telemarketer is tiring them out. Tell them stories or even give a yarn of bull. Appear to be interested but drag it out as long as possible.
Telemarketer: "Hello, I'm here to offer you ... ... ."
Me: "Why?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, well, it's my job."
Me: "Why?"
Telemarketer: "Because I have to work somehow."
Me: "Why?"
Telemarketer: "Sir, do you want the product or not?"
Me: "Product? Like when you multiply? I can find products on my own, thanks."
Telemarketer: "No, sir, the product I just offered you at the start of my call."
Me: "Ooh! Was it the square root of 7? That's a hard product to come by. It's like a prime root! Ooh, that sounds fancy. Prime root. Kinda like prime rib. Do you like prime rib? I do. Unless it's overcooked. Ugh, then it's just nasty. Then some people add the pickle juice and I'm all like 'are you a psychotic pillow squisher?' You have to cook it just right. Speaking of right, which direction do you turn more when you're driving? Right, or left? Or do you go straight?"
Tm:hello I'd like to tell you about- me: quick you gotta help me, my friend is about to kill himself. TM:Oh no! Me: the worst part about it is that he is killing himself using the product you are selling right now. thanks a lot for killing my friend. di*k
They aren't aloud to hang up on you, so really you can do what ever you want to.
I know a guy who gave his 5 year old the phone and said it was the kids grandfather. A half hour later he took the phone back and the telemarketer was just like "Please hang up sir"
i had a job as a telemarketer once, for about a month. Awful job.. One night it was late at work, im in this room with like 15 other people making calls and this one dude is calling people using the Terminator Voice. Arnold Swartsanigro. Pretty funny i thought. Anyways...
I have a good one. just ramble continuously, and when you get an urge, fart into the phone mic. keep the fart going as long as possible, and then ramble again as if it never happened.
i started out doing survey calls... Weird stuff. Like, Political calls, forwarding people to President Ohbama or some other goverment offical. Thennn... i was doing so well my boss was like you should try sales. That didn't work out so well. =/ It was an interesting experience.
They aren't aloud to hang up on you, so really you can do what ever you want to.
That takes the fun out of half of the stories here now.
Well I'm only fourteen, but if I got calls from a telemarketer I might as well have an entire conversation about adult material then threaten to call the police over it. Though I probably couldn't get them in trouble for it anyway I still think it would be fun.
