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Because life likes to see people suffer.

Is there a monster under my bed?

Yes, it's a hideous beast make up of all of your angst and primal fears that is lurking, waiting to pounce upon you with the unfetered ferocity of a thousand demonic assassins.

Why am I sitting outside right now even though it's 35° F and 10:00pm?

Because you are going to see something awesome, something that can change your life if you see it

Is the cake an actual lie?

Yes, because although you may think that you can eat it, it just wants to overdraw your credit card balance.

Why has society cast me into the gutter?

Because the society doesn't know what it is doing to people :/

What day will be tomorrow?

Christmas

Why is there not any snow here?

Because the snow is also on holidays! SNOW HAS FEELINGS TOO!

Why is the Earth named Earth?

It comes from its grandfather.

What is an internet?

It's an internal net

Why are we a little crazy sometimes?

Because this website is making us go insane.

Will you attend the funeral of 2015?

Despite 2015 being the most annoying year of my life, I will because it wasn't a complete waste of time

Will you be alive when AG counts to 100 (years) in 2105?

Probably not naturally. However, science is in the process of creating pills that can extend your life, so who knows.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?

I'll call the police

Have you ever seen the rain?

What do you mean by "the" rain? I have seen lots of rain recently, in fact much flooding is going on here, but is that "the" rain you were speaking of?

Why do have to take everything so literally?

Because it can be funny

What do you do when life gives you melons?