OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start: 1. Instant Seafood. If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control. When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them. With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge. If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows: 1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better. 2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. > 3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
has your octoflan not been good enough?do you want a sandwich,but dont have the right ingredients for it?NO MOAR!octocheif is a expert cheif and can make ingredients of thin air(or void if you are a alien)!he makes the best food known to man,no matter HOW picky you are.heck,he can even make you some octopi for dinner without hesitation!
call now and get the octocheif manual!you also get 2 menus(table for two,please?)and you also get bandages for octocheif when he makes a mistake!(everyone makes mistakes)now,you get all of this if you call NOW!or at least untill thursday. if you call right now,we'll DOUBLE the offer!get 2 octocheif manuals, 4menus(for an entire household!)and 2xthe bandages!you also get 2 young octocheifs for your offer!
instwead of 100,000 for JUST the octocheif,and 500,000 for the extra stuff,we'll sell him to you with al the extra cool stiuff for only 55,000$!!!!(200$ S&H)order today at www.octocan.com or by calling 343-2123-5865!
has your octoflan not been good enough?do you want a sandwich,but dont have the right ingredients for it?NO MOAR!octocheif is a expert cheif and can make ingredients of thin air(or void if you are a alien)!he makes the best food known to man,no matter HOW picky you are.heck,he can even make you some octopi for dinner without hesitation!
call now and get the octocheif manual!you also get 2 menus(table for two,please?)and you also get bandages for octocheif when he makes a mistake!(everyone makes mistakes)now,you get all of this if you call NOW!or at least untill thursday. if you call right now,we'll DOUBLE the offer!get 2 octocheif manuals, 4menus(for an entire household!)and 2xthe bandages!you also get 2 young octocheifs for your offer!
instwead of 100,000 for JUST the octocheif,and 500,000 for the extra stuff,we'll sell him to you with al the extra cool stiuff for only 55,000$!!!!(200$ S&H)order today at www.octocan.com or by calling 343-2123-5865!
note:if food turns out blue,dont eat it.if you do,call medical help right away.happy octocooking!
309:OctoHam Is your OctoChef just not making your ham as good as it can be? Does your pork always blue? Well with OctoHam, (an exstension to OctoChef) for the perfect ham! Warning: The Ham will be the only thing OctoChef can cook while it is attached.
Are you being harassed on a forum? Is a person trolling you? Say good by to trolls everywhere with the new Octoban! It will automatically ban any user you input into it's octokeyboard. It can even be used in the forum game You're banned, as an effective ban.
311: OctoCat Are cats your dream pet, but you can't handle all that fur? Want something cheaper, and more manageable? Get new OctoCat! With 100% less fur and 100% more ink, you will have a hell of a time!
Warning: Expect ink everywhere, unless you buy the new OctoCat LitterBox, (sold seperately)
312: OctoSoberiser Are your forums being blemished by an angry drunk*? Do you wish he'd just have a sense of humour and laugh about it when people flame his country? Are you just feeling butthurt that you can't get drunk too and join the ranks of the world's great alcoholics? No more! This octopus attaches to his mouth and drinks his booze before he can touch it, then converts it to ink and squirts it back! He'll be sober** in no time!
*Irishman **if Irish, read dead
(I too have Irish heritage. Don't get mad, learn to laugh about it.)
Bleh. Dunno if this has been done before, but... 314: OctoStudent!
Need to up your grades? Need to produce smart people from your school? Don't bother educating your schoolkids, just put some OctoStudents in there! They're so smart, they'll send up the national IQ at 10 points a can!
315: Octocan There are so many reasons to own an octocan, you should own it just because! Who needs a 315th reason when you have 314th? a person that doesnt have an octocan, thats who.
317: OctoNyan! Memes! Cats! Rainbows! Poptarts! This little guy has none of those things, he actually just tells you how to pronounce "meme". As in "meem".
Probably already happened but I'm not going to go looking through 30+ pages to see if someone did do it.
318: Octoless Octocan
Tired of all those Octo related things? Well then try our new Octoless Octocan! It's so Octoless that the leading products perish under it's magnificence! All of them except R2 cookies. R2 cookies are too invinicible. So try an R2 cookie today! They are filled with p- Huh? I'm supposed to be doing an ad on Octoless Octocan? Oh... buy Octoless Octocan today!
Have you ever needed a quick cupcakes on the go? Well, have no fear, just add water to Cupcake Octocan, and you will have instant cupcakes. Note: Hacksaw not included. You know, I wonder why it's called a hacksaw? It's not like it's used for hacking, that's what knives and other sharp instruments are for.
320: science tester do your test subjects keep dying? are robots not real science? NEVER FEAR with the new aperture science super-powerful mega 5000 super testing super octocan you can test all you want
