Forums → The Tavern → A villains guide to being a villain

I find your username in combination with this amusing.
Well, obviously the most important part is doing your evil in a way that is not entirely illegal, but still evil and will affect a huge amount of people. Bureaucracy is a good example of that kind of evil.

Become a member of Congress.


'Nuff said

Well, obviously the most important part is doing your evil in a way that is not entirely illegal, but still evil and will affect a huge amount of people

To be honest, I would rather have loyal and smart henchmen than evil and loyal. Smart and evil henchmen will always be a bad idea, and I will never try that again.

Also, the Evil overlord list states that evil laughs are bad, since:
"When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly."

Laser are alright.

I would start by creating a group wit mah fwends. Then I would create a religion with an evil god. I would make them believe that I was the incarnation of the god so that they would do whatever I say. I would read The Art of War and start making secret churches to worship the god(me).

More coming soon, I have to do some planning for my world domination.

If I was about to dominate earth with a easy plan, then first I would make Google, and therefore more things like YouTube stop. Once people notice the world will go mad and even people who don't know anything about scripting or hacking would do everything to get it back. While everyone is doing that stuff I can come up with a better plan.

"When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly."

I will never try that again.

lawl... lasers villins. i would start a cult. CULT Of BUNNYS. get all the littel girls in the world to revolt against there parents. i mean little girl ar evil.. really they are

I'm actually gonna rule the world. I know exactly how to do it too. And I'll do it without lasers XD. See, I just plant large explosives under a ton of skyscrapers all over the world. Then I reveal what I have done to the populace. And if they don't do what I say... POWIE. hundreds of people will die, and no one wants to kill hundreds of people, so everyone will be my slaves. I will do it all from my secret underground lair. You don't need lame lasers or ridiculous religions.

Continued....


After we make some churches we would get people to go to the church to expand my army. We would put up signs saying "WORLD DOMINATION IN PROGRESS. Worship <real name deleted for security reasons(But I won't need "security reasons" soon.)> and get free candy! You also get a slave if you are promoted enough!"
We would put the signs up in places where the police never go to avoid detection. After about a month I should have an army of about 500 people. Then we all go to Washington DC(At different times so people don't get suspicious). And we take over the White House and Pentagon and BOOM we have a lot more power.

More coming soon again.

@AfterBurner
How would you get large explosives and how would you get them under skyscrapers? It would take a really, REALLY long time to create an underground lair that doesn't fall down, and by the time you actually get something accomplished the police would get you. And you can't rule the entire world by destroying skyscrapers. Speaking of destroying skyscrapers, you would have to be RICH to be able to get enough explosives, buy enough plane tickets, sneak them onto a plane, and plant them under skyscrapers. And people don't give in that easily. You're just one person. You vs the entire world. That's billions of people looking for you.

So unless you are absolutely rich, are able to find a way to get explosives on a plane and are able to stand up against billions of people, your plan has just been destroyed.

My plan would take virtually unlimited money, but I'd start by storing my money in banks overseas to avoid US taxes. I would then donate lots of money to charities and pay off the US debt entirely to be seen as an economic hero. I would pay for national nuclear defense systems. I would then run for and become president (rigging the election if necessary).
Meanwhile, I would use an untraceable proxy to create enormous weapons factories in North Korea, Iran, and Pakistan. I would sell those weapons to those countries from each other so they become allies. They will become haughty due to their new industry: North Korea will declare war on South Korea; Iran will declare war on the US and Europe; Pakistan will declare war on India. WW3 begins.
I would use my wartime power to ignore the constitution. I would make restrictive laws against criticizing me and enhance personal security for myself. As soon as the war begins, I'd initiate Operation Wrecktify: remotely demolish the factories with explosives already placed at weak points (the cover story would be that "Spec-Ops teams bypassed security and placed C-4 in all the factories flawlessly&quot. I would then initiate Operation Nullify: holding recall elections for any members of Congress who oppose me (if they are not recalled, criminal evidence will be planted so they're removed from office) and hold rigged impeachment trials against Supreme Court Judges. Then Iâd initiate Operation Escalate: fire a nuclear missile from a hidden silo under the remains of the factory in North Korea at the US. The defense system will shoot it down before it gets near the coast (if it fails, I steer the nuke into the Pacific with search-and-destroy teams standing by). The shrapnel, with a visible piece of a Korean flag, is recovered and, if the defense system really worked, the satellite feed will then be shown to the public (if the system failed, a blurry, edited version will be shown) to convince them how I alone saved America. I'd tell them that the government always needs a level head to not launch nukes back during a crisis and convince them by showing actual data of how many past presidents would've pushed the button in such a situation. I'd urge them to influence congress to abolish the 22nd amendment (2-term presidency law), so I can rule for life.
I'd use my wealth to win the war and force the belligerent nations into submission with conventional means. Iran will be owned by the European Union and will be used as a main base for future conflicts with Palestine and other nations. North Korea will become part of South Korea, so the peninsula will be simply Korea. Pakistan will belong to India. I will be declared as the hero of the free world. Due to my generosity, by not taking any of the land for the US, I become the head of the UN by popular vote. I'd then destroy any threatening nations. I'd use my wealth to make myself live forever by investing in science. I'd use my wealth and power to make the world a single global nation under my rule. I'd then rule the world forever. *insert evil laugh*

How would you get large explosives and how would you get them under skyscrapers?

It would take a really, REALLY long time to create an underground lair that doesn't fall down, and by the time you actually get something accomplished the police would get you.

And you can't rule the entire world by destroying skyscrapers.

you would have to be RICH to be able to get enough explosives

buy enough plane tickets, sneak them onto a plane

And people don't give in that easily.

You're just one person. You vs the entire world. That's billions of people looking for you.

After we make some churches we would get people to go to the church to expand my army

We would put up signs saying "WORLD DOMINATION IN PROGRESS

We would put the signs up in places where the police never go to avoid detection.

After about a month I should have an army of about 500 people.

And we take over the White House and Pentagon and BOOM we have a lot more power.

Sorry for double post but just to clear things up. my post up there ^^ is for "endlessrampage73" And EmperorPalpatine, your plan looks pretty good, aside from needing infinite money XD

@AfterBurner0
I still have an argument in me.

Just sneak them in...idk way down in a basement where no one goes.

No one wants to be responsible for killing hundreds of people

I'll go to college and be smart enough to build my own.

I'll buy me a private plane.

Would YOU like to do my bidding? or kill a few hundred people?

But no one will know where I am, so it'll be a cinch.

You expect an army to waltz in and worship a crazy nut with a sorry excuse of a world-domination plan?

And you're complaining about how MY plan will attract billions of people to come after me? You expect the world to just be handed to you on a silver platter?

So let me think of places that police never go...Africa comes to mind.

YOU first need heap-loads of money to fully arm your infantry for a hostile takeover.

And let me get this straight, we're still talking about earth right? because umm did you ever account for the fact that the army, and marines would gun you to smithereens, probably from a helicopter and/or a few tanks.

I seriously doubt there is a basement in a skyscraper that doesn't have people in it and allows you to be down there too.

If it means stopping somebody from world domination, they would be willing to do whatever it takes.

Still, it would take a lot of money to buy materials for bombs.

Again the problem with money.

Do your bidding. HOWEVER if killing a few hundred people saves us from you, I would be willing.

You would eventually need to go back to civilization for food, and by then people would be looking for you, and they would find you then.

An army of incredibly gullible and stupid people would work.

...And that's where you have me. I'll admit you're right on that one.

Is that sarcasm or racism? If racism: You're racist. If sarcasm: There are plenty of places near my house where police NEVER go.

We would start by stealing people money by pickpocketing and beating them up with sticks and stones(In the places the police never go). Then we could slightly improve our weapons and start getting money again to improve our weapons more.

The takeover would take place when we get a big enough army with good enough weapons. Which would take a LOOOONG time, but it could be done. Besides, they wouldn't risk destroying the White house with firepower that big.