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Joe96
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Joe96
2,226 posts
Peasant

Hey there fellow introverts! I created this thread to be a general discussion forum for introverts to talk about their experiences and give tips to other introverts on "general life stuff". I am an introvert by heart (don't get me wrong, I can be loud and obnoxious around my friends/ in a small groups or places where people don't know me)and want to see what the armor games community has to say about "quietness". As an introvert, I see myself as emphasizing hard work and commitment but often struggle to make "small chat". Extroverts feel welcome too

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Deathless950
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Deathless950
1,943 posts
Nomad

The quietest people have the loudest minds

dair5
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dair5
3,371 posts
Shepherd

I enjoy listening in, though. I suppose I could be happy with just that, but then I feel creeper or something :S


I know exactly how you feel. It's just so awkward to be in the conversation, but not actually in the conversation. You're there with them, and everyone has something to say, except you. So you're just, there. It makes me feel out of place. And often people don't even notice I'm around. Because I'm not good with goodbyes, or hellos. So I just walk into a group of friends, or people in general and sometimes they don't notice me until I've stood there for 5 min and they have no idea when I've left.
MegaIPOD
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MegaIPOD
421 posts
Shepherd

I enjoy listening in, though. I suppose I could be happy with just that, but then I feel creeper or something :S

I know exactly how you feel. It's just so awkward to be in the conversation, but not actually in the conversation. You're there with them, and everyone has something to say, except you. So you're just, there. It makes me feel out of place. And often people don't even notice I'm around. Because I'm not good with goodbyes, or hellos. So I just walk into a group of friends, or people in general and sometimes they don't notice me until I've stood there for 5 min and they have no idea when I've left.



Guess i found people just like me, i too, usually sit for like, 5 mins till my friends get quiet, and when i say something, it's usually so humorous they crack up so bad the teacher's punish 'em (some of the time), half reason is probably as i was hearing them for a long time and not saying a word, but it gets me a couple of bonus points as a great person to be able to hear someone's problems and suggest something, usually. I guess that's good enough.

I guess this goes to say that if ArmorGames had a gathering of its users, it would probably be awkward.


Not if i met some bronies :P
Joe96
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Joe96
2,226 posts
Peasant

It's possible. I have noticed that I have a much easier time talking to people when they initiate the conversation (as rare as that is) than when I'm the one who has to start it.


Makes sense. When they start talking to you, you know they want to hear what you have to say. If people don't ask you to repeat yourself, it's probably because of how you talk.
My one friend will never just SHUT UP lol. I mean, really, he goes on and on and doesn't seem to know when and where to talk about things. For example, in the locker room after gym, he's talking about how he's "noobing it up" at basketball when I'm trying to not look like a dork in front of some of the gangsters (or more appropriately, cholos. Street smarts are something that some introverts need to pick up when they truly start to &quotlay the game&quot. Anyway, another example: there is this girl in some of my classes who has a similar thing going on ... she doesn't know how to SHUT UP! She's nice, but when she's called on in class, she goes on and on and at times pauses to enunciate every single word. She also puts herself off as a know it all even when answering a simple question.
Anyway, if you present yourself well and are confident in what you say, you can tell people anything and they won't judge you; sad thing is it works the opposite way as well.
I do have to say I sympathize with you, though. Even now that happens to me every once in a while. When you are in a stressful situation, your body produces adrenaline which makes you more alert of your surroundings and even more nervous. A simple way to avoid this is to take a deep breath and clear your mind.

The quietest people have the loudest minds

That's a really neat quote, thanks for sharing

Any game I play becomes awkward in some way :P Thanks anyway for the suggestion.

It's not really a problem of us having nothing to do, but I feel like I never contribute anything to their conversations... I enjoy listening in, though. I suppose I could be happy with just that, but then I feel creeper or something :S


Yes, but if you are doing something that everyone participates and laughs in, it is MUCH, MUCH easier to start conversation and build meaningful friendships. You just need to go a little out of your comfort zone is all. Also, make sure that the people you hang out with are decent. If they constantly tease you and say that you never stick up for yourself, gradually begin to disagree with them and no matter what you do, DO NOT LAUGH at what they call you if it truly bothers you!!! This will tell them that what they are doing is okay and clearly it is not. And let me clarify this, I am not just copying and pasting all of this from some self help website, I have lived all of this and all of my advice comes from personal experience. Anyway, after that, you need to start telling to shut it and let them know that it's not funny. For the whole first semester of this year, my friends constantly teased and made fun of me and I was miserable. Eventually, I did this and now I'm one of the most popular guys at our table (not to mention, known as one of the bravest for other things ). Seriously, though, I believe that you or anyone else can do this. And after it's all said and done, you will feel 200% better.

I guess this goes to say that if ArmorGames had a gathering of its users, it would probably be awkward.

Yeah lol. AG user 1: "So... did you ever play Colony?"
AG user 2: "Yeah, but it stunk"
AG user 1: *smack!*

I know exactly how you feel. It's just so awkward to be in the conversation, but not actually in the conversation. You're there with them, and everyone has something to say, except you. So you're just, there. It makes me feel out of place. And often people don't even notice I'm around. Because I'm not good with goodbyes, or hellos. So I just walk into a group of friends, or people in general and sometimes they don't notice me until I've stood there for 5 min and they have no idea when I've left.


Same. Just kind of start off with a simple "hello, how's it going?" If you ask someone a question, they are a lot more likely to respond and conversation should follow from there (even if it's short).

Guess i found people just like me, i too, usually sit for like, 5 mins till my friends get quiet, and when i say something, it's usually so humorous they crack up so bad the teacher's punish 'em (some of the time), half reason is probably as i was hearing them for a long time and not saying a word, but it gets me a couple of bonus points as a great person to be able to hear someone's problems and suggest something, usually. I guess that's good enough.

In a good way, right? I do that a lot too. I can really be myself at school when I'm relaxed, but if there's someone I'm not too comfortable around
(Ex. http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9900000/Hmmmm-house-md-9966199-111-120.jpg)
I kind of go back in my shell.
Joe96
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Joe96
2,226 posts
Peasant

it's just that I almost always have nothing to say.

Yeah, I know what you mean by that. Still pay attention to what they are talking about and any noteworthy events outside of school, though. You will have more ideas of what to talk about. Also, if you get together in a small group outside of school, you will probably feel more relaxed and talk a bit more.
(continuing) Whatever happens, it's good to remember to not do all of what he/she may expect you to; the moment you do something different, you become a more 'socialable' person and are more likely to be noticed later on. It's not illegal to have your own opinions. :P

Not entirely sure what you meant by that :P
ugh, short conversations are sort of a pet peeve of mine. I always try to hold as long conversations as I can. Perhaps that's why I don't talk very much.e

Yeah, I don't really like short conversation either.
dank40
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dank40
109 posts
Nomad

To some girls and strangers I find myself blushing ALOT and looking away. :/

Joe96
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Joe96
2,226 posts
Peasant

To some girls and strangers I find myself blushing ALOT and looking away. :/

I don't blush, but I look away a lot, but I have started to push myself to make eye contact. It's even hard sometimes to make eye contact with friends depending on where I am and how I feel.
samy
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samy
4,871 posts
Nomad

I have started to push myself to make eye contact


Me too, I used to look around them or stare at their mouth. I have gotten a lot better in the last year or so, though. Having a girlfriend and various interviews have helped me a long the way. I don't necessarily feel awkward when I look someone in the eyes, it's just a hassle.
Joe96
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Joe96
2,226 posts
Peasant

I don't necessarily feel awkward when I look someone in the eyes, it's just a hassle.

Yeah, it is and draining too D:
I have gotten a lot better in the last year or so, though. Having a girlfriend and various interviews have helped me a long the way.

That's great! I have kind of started to "crack my shell" too. I would say that the biggest thing that helped me is getting involved in athletics. Whenever I'm in season, I feel confident because I'm an athlete and can use that to start conversation, and I feel proud, because I completed a whole season of a sport and earned a new letter for my varsity jacket. Not to mention, I made a lot of new friends on the teams and it has taught me a great deal about team work and leadership. There are so many benefits to getting involved in school sports and activities, I was amazed when I saw the difference between Freshman and Sophomore year.
psychobiz
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psychobiz
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Nomad

I am an introvert, and the people who don't know me think that I'm stuck up(you see, I'm a straight A student) because I don't talk to them, or look them in the eye. The thing is, I really don't care what other people think of me. The only opinions that matter to me are those of my friends, family, and teachers. So, my advice to the fellow introverts out there is don't ever feel bad if someone hates you, or makes rumors about you. They're not the people that matter, and not everyone will like you.

MegaIPOD
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MegaIPOD
421 posts
Shepherd

In a good way, right? I do that a lot too. I can really be myself at school when I'm relaxed, but if there's someone I'm not too comfortable around
(Ex.http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9900000/Hmmmm-house-md-9966199-111-120.jpg )
I kind of go back in my shell.


Yeah, in a good way :P
The most awkward part is that the other 2 guys are my best buddies, and when they have a conversation, i just feel, lost, for some reason, i keep listening to them like, well, a baby :$.
dair5
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dair5
3,371 posts
Shepherd

The most awkward part is that the other 2 guys are my best buddies, and when they have a conversation, i just feel, lost, for some reason, i keep listening to them like, well, a baby :$.


I thought I was the only one. I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes people are even talking about stuff that relates to me and I still have no idea what they're talking about. I get so confused.

Also, because I don't talk often people tend to imagine what I'm thinking. It's funny because they always come up with really exaggerated emotions and feelings, but I don't like it because they're never close to how I actually feel. At all. In fact, sometimes it's compleatly opposite. The sad part is that they don't do it on purpose, they really just have no idea what I'm thinking or feeling.
Ernie15
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Ernie15
13,344 posts
Bard

The thing is, I really don't care what other people think of me.


That is excellent. I've always wished I could reach that state of mind, and I've always told myself that I have, but deep down I know that I care quite a bit about what people think of me, and I want to change that about myself.
Jazmoon
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Jazmoon
561 posts
Peasant

I know that I care quite a bit about what people think of me, and I want to change that about myself.


Yeah me too, i like being different and standing out. But i also care what people say about me. And because i'm shy i find it hard to talk to people. So they just think i'm weird. I just wish i could feel free enough not to care about it, but i know i do.
Joe96
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Joe96
2,226 posts
Peasant

I thought I was the only one.

See, that's why I made this thread...to show that even if you're alone, you're not alone...you just don't know any other alone people because they're alone too and if you knew each other, then you wouldn't be alone and the last person to be alone would truly be alone...
ANYWAY!
Sometimes people are even talking about stuff that relates to me and I still have no idea what they're talking about. I get so confused.

Yeah. If I think I hear my name, I get really paranoid because I think people are talking about me behind my back or something.
Also, because I don't talk often people tend to imagine what I'm thinking.

Yes, Exactly!!!
The sad part is that they don't do it on purpose, they really just have no idea what I'm thinking or feeling.

Yeah, I went through that a lot. A lot of introverts have to kind of "act" to fit in and it can be really draining...going a whole day being someone who you're not. I usually just kind of follow what other people do if I'm out of it, but if I'm awake and feel good, I can usually push myself to be open and fun-loving.
I've always wished I could reach that state of mind, and I've always told myself that I have, but deep down I know that I care quite a bit about what people think of me, and I want to change that about myself.

If I'm around people that I will only see once in my life or don't have to talk to, I can be as wild as I want. It's when I go to school or church though when I really start to feel like I'm being scrutinized and that is what makes me anxious. And of course, it varies, but overall I think I'm slowly getting better.
I just wish i could feel free enough not to care about it, but i know i do.

I felt AMAZING after I started cross country and even track. I feel like I'm flying when I run (especially at night, there is almost a presence or a mystery that I am searching for but never seem to find...if you ever run at night, you may know what I mean).
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