Much to your disappointment, this is not another run-of-the-mill fantasy story about a weapon of crass distraction. This is a thread of Sordid Acts of Paronomasia that'll scare and amaze ya, scare ya with the sheer terribleness of puns created, amaze ya with the absolute incredibleness of ingenious puns skillfully fabricated.
So is this a thread of Gantic's terrible terrible (sometimes multilingual) puns? No! It is Gantic's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia, a contest! ... of sorts. And it'll run for six or seven rounds. You the punster, be you pungent or fragrant vagrant, are challenged to come up with the best pun relating to the theme of the round.
The prize? Well, ancient wisdom says:
A good pun is it's own reword.
And I agree. But don't fret! The punster who accrues the most Gantic Points shall awarded the title. What title? Why the title, of course! This thread, at its conclusion, shall forever be known as YourNameHere's Sworded Axe of Paronomasia.
Entries can be submitted in whatever format necessary to present the pun. Got a joke? Got a story? Or a visual pun? No problem. It doesn't even have to be funny! Other forms of wordplay may also be substituted for punnery. One entry per person per round.
Entries will be judged arbitrarily according to predetermined criteria, i.e. whatever the judge likes, and rated on a scale of 0-5 Gantic Points. The judging is highly impartial. To win, good punmanship is a necessity.
Be aware that there is such a thing as a bad pun and you may lose points (i.e. a negative score) if it's really bad. There's a difference between bad and groanworthy. Just for kicks, I'm not going to delineate the difference between bad and groanworthy.
So if you can lose points, then you must also be able to gain bonus points! Just to be fair, of course. And yes there is! But that is for you to figure out.
Onward to the theme then:
Theme for Round One against the Sword Axe: Armor Games
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