ForumsThe TavernAnother Love Problem......

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kingryan
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kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

Hi All,

I need help....AGAIN!...

Basically, there is this girl who has been my close friend for about 10 weeks. We get on really well, and once she tricked me by saying she likes me. Now she is saying she likes me, but according to my other friend, she is being serious now.

Since it is the Holidays, most of this has happened via MSN. I went into it only liking her as a friend, but to see if she actually liked me I put a *fingers crossed* emote in my PM. I then said that I liked her (lying) and continued taking this idea further and further...

Now, I think I might like her more, and she wants me to prove that I like her on Tuesday (when school restarts) by saying to her face that I love her.

The *fingers crossed* emote is important, because it is my safety net. Seeing as she tricked me once before, if at some point she says 'Punked' or 'Tricked Ya' then I can just say ' Look at my PM. See the crossed fingers.'

If I said that I loved her to her face at school, then the safety net is gone and I am exposed to any trickery. Also, I don't want to commit myself to liking her because I don't want to get hurt.

I haven't had much luck with relationships in the past...most of the girls that I have liked have moved away.

Can anyone suggest anything?

KingRyan

  • 45 Replies
hellian00
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hellian00
874 posts
Nomad

Wow. School for me dosen't start until the end of August. We got out May 5th.


But, Don't say love. That is the biggest mistake you can make. Say like, with emphasis. Also, getting into a relationshit may risk your friendship when you break up(which is a big probability). Don't get too involved if you aren't sure weather she likes you or not.

TotalReview
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TotalReview
803 posts
Shepherd

If you actually do really love her, then say it. If she is playing a joke, then act depressed so she has to live with that guilt. Never hide your emotions.

kingryan
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kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

Hmm...Interesting advice. Anyone got any more?

KIngRyan

1smallmalf
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1smallmalf
755 posts
Nomad

if u really love her, say it, but if u don't, don't say it, but if u say u love her and she says "no", atleast u tried and u don't have to be afraid anymore

http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/2005/smallmalf2zq9.pngJoin the Sig Strikers

TotalReview
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TotalReview
803 posts
Shepherd

Adding onto my previous point: It is better to ask and be rejected then to not ask and wonder what she would have said.

Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,675 posts
Jester

Oh gawd...Are you kids throwing around that love word again? Smashing.

If she has only been your close friend for 10 weeks and potential partner for even less, do not even think about calling it love in any shape, way or form. I have been around the block quite a few times and I have only used it on a handful of occasions.

The more you use the word 'love,' the more you cheapen it. And when you actually mean it the other person may not know.

Besides, saying "I love you" is often a guaranteed codeword for "I want in your pants." And then it scares them off.

And...I forgot the rest of my reasons. XD

1smallmalf
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1smallmalf
755 posts
Nomad

yeah, i agree with dev, ask if they want to go out, but don't say "i love u"

http://img520.imageshack.us/img520/2005/smallmalf2zq9.pngJoin the Sig Strikers

Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

Since it is the Holidays, most of this has happened via MSN. I went into it only liking her as a friend, but to see if she actually liked me I put a *fingers crossed* emote in my PM. I then said that I liked her (lying) and continued taking this idea further and further...


This reminds me of something Nick Carraway said in The Great Gatsby- where he didn't really know if he liked his fiance, but had somehow gotten himself rumored into being engaged with her even though the only recollection he had of her was "...the faint mustache of sweat that appeared on her upper lip when she played tennis."

Every time I remember that passage, I lol, but I digress. The power of your own words to deceive or convince yourself is something to be treated carefully- I've managed to suck myself towards a commitment by saying I like somebody as a safety net. These kind of equilibrium points always shift, because that is the nature of human interaction.

But that's part and parcel and therefore no reason to get freaked out. It is entirely possible that the reason this girl did a 'sike' on you some weeks ago is because she too is unsure (see how the above can be a double-edged sword?) Also, well, this may sound harsh but getting hurt in relationships, impermanent as they are, is part and parcel. You're young (hell, I'm young in this respect), and so, well...there's a whole range of prospects for you to discover and learn what works for you :P
kingryan
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kingryan
4,196 posts
Farmer

mmm true....

Not sure about your other meaning for 'love' though....being 14 that hasn't really come up just yet...also, Being a Christian, I have my beliefs...

kingRyan

Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

Besides, saying "I love you" is often a guaranteed codeword for "I want in your pants." And then it scares them off.


At this stage, often saying "I love you" is synonymous to "I want in your pants" and strangely enough, this can sometimes work if both parties are working towards a 'common interest'. But only if there are no pretenses that it's for anything, shall we say, 'more noble'. In any mutual, reciprocal relationship, a certain level of honesty seems to be prerequisite, and the various other conditions thereof vary with the tides.

But I shouldn't say any more on this matter, maybe, since I run the risk of 'corrupting young minds.' xD
Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

(p.s. KR, you may wish to shield thine eyes at mine post...it's not particularly compatible with your beliefs :P)

Love is a funny thing. More importantly I'd add that one may do well not to attempt to define love itself or try to reduce love to its components so much as define said components first.

Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,675 posts
Jester

Haha, I was going to say. They be but 14 and such!

But these days, it is a hard call to make when it comes to such things. I remember back in my day...

Actually, never mind my day. It would not help at all. >_<

Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

Ditto.

The bottom line I think is that every foray into this world of 'relationship' is another step into learning about yourself.

TotalReview
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TotalReview
803 posts
Shepherd

I remember back in my day...


I can only imagine. You have to share some secrets.
NoNameC68
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NoNameC68
5,043 posts
Shepherd

Ditch the safety net, it won't do anything but push you into a state of denial.

Understand that most people don't know squate about true love. I am 17, and I have noticed that most of the people my age are still too immature to know what true love is.

Girl's are masters of playing mind games. Once you figure her out... never EVER live life by your rules because you will soon find out that everything you figured out was wrong.

If you are turned down, don't act mad. Just look at her as if you are dissapointed in her. Don't let it show that she hurt you that bad. Just let her know that you are dissapointed she played such a childish trick.

Also... everything I am saying... is just me giving the best advice I can to my knowlage so if you do listen to me, think very carefully and don't blame me if i am wrong.

Even if she does realy like you, it probally won't last. As I said before, a lot of people are too immature even at my age to know what true love is.

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