Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → the dragon hunt. By skater_kid_who_pwns
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Ok guys, this story has just been dancing in my head and i had to put it somewere. All ideas, and critasism is accepted. Thanks!
prologe.
"Malcom! Malcom! Wake up!" It was his mother yelling, he woke up covered in sweat. There was a odd light comeing from all around, and something that smelled of...smoke. He looked out window, expecting to see the sun riseing, as it allways does, instead he saw the royal army, of which he hoped to become one day, fighting back 3 dragons. There were huge, like nothing any one had ever seen. One, was pure white, with golden talons and teeth, and large golden spikes all down it's back and tail. The next was a blue dragon, Its spines on its head and the tip of its tail, were clear, looking allmost exactly like crystals. The biggest, who seemed to be the leader was twice as big as the others. It was jet black With Giant spikes covering his body, and it was breathing fire...on to every thing. Suddenly his mom burst into his room,"Malcome, what are you standing here for we have to get into the castle right away!" He ran after her, out of the front door and into the groups of people hurding into the inner castle. Once inside, the people spread around finding small grous of people they knew and talking, crouching in corners, and crying. Malcome, scanned the room quickly, seeing his best freind, and traning partner in knight school, ran over to him. he was allready with the rest of there gang. They were mercaniares of sorts, takeing on small jobs the army passed on to them. There were five of them in totall. Malcome, being the leader turned and said,"Guys, follow me". They went down the corridor to the right, unnoticed. There they could talk with out being unheard. There they were the whole gang. malcome, a Tall muscled boy with dirty blonde hair and freckles, who chose to fight with a double sided sword. King, who was his best freind, was short, and slighyly overweight, who was accustomed to fighting with a spear and a large sheild. Then another short kid who was very strong, had a thick head of red hair, he fought with a large battle ax, his name as brian. Then there was the one girl of the group, tall skinny with blonde hair. she could have done anything she wanted, but she decided to join there gang and help the community. She used a bow to fight, she was a very falubale member to the group, seeing as she could fight from range and all, her name was kailey. And last, the most unlikely membber of the bunch, a short skinny kid with large glasses constently sliding down the bridge of his nose. His name was vox. He was a mage, but his friends were the only ones who knew, for if the royal army knew of his rare, yet extremely usefull gift they would recruit him now.
I will continue that later if you guys like it. i am sleepy right now and cant think.
- 50 Replies
Work on spelling and capitalization. Also, some of the sentences sound choppy. Read them too yourself, to see if they sound right. What time period is this in?
Looks good so far.
But what Estel said...
It's interesting, gets you exited. Are you going to do more?
BTW:I love how all these storys in this section made by users are totally original, and not just some cliche action or comedy type of thing
Um...yeah i am gonna make more. Just not today. Thanks for the feed back and estel, it is suppose to be around......1500's. Around the meideval times. i am gonna start reading them over more, and possible get my sister to read them for me. She is good at english.
Well, I lied. I am just gonna go ahead and write some more.
Pushing his glasses back up his nose Vox shock a slight bit. he couldnt stand unfamiliar places. "How much longer are we gonna stand out in the open like this?" "We were told not to leave the main entrance way." he spit out rather quickly. "Just untill the fights over and the town is burned down of course." Brian said, then turning to Malcome said "So what is the plan boss?" Malcome screwing up his face at the remark said "Brian I'm not your boss, I am your freind." Then turning to Kailey asked "You do still have the map right?" She held out a hand, in it was a golden scroll, tied with a red bow. Malcome took it, and opened it up and spread it on the floor. King walked over and looked over his shoulder, "We should be right around here." he guessed drawing an invisible circle with his finger on the paper. "Actually", Vox said, "We are over here. That is were we want to be." He pointed to the armory, were gold, and weapons, and armor was stored. The clanking of armor startled every one of them, they saw a shadow comeing around the corner, it looked like a knight. They all looked at vox, he was there only chance. He lifted a hand and mutered a few words, and just like that they all became transparent. They quickly ran down the hall to the end of corridor. The castle was splendid, designed to suite royalty. There was red carpeting, with stone walls, and large oil paintings of past kings and queens lining the walls. The spell started to wear off, slowly bits of them became visible, and now they could be spotted again, and allmost instantly they were ment by something worse then a guard.......The queen her self....
not to good, but Thats it for today. Check in again tommorow! Tell me what you think!
It's pretty good, a lot of words are mispelled though. But I like the story.
yeah...my spelling is about as good as a third grader. I am sorry about that. i am just trying to work on the bass of the story and details and such.
Uh, isn't a prologue suppose to tell you what happened before the story starts or the background? Also, you put Malcolm first then Malcome?
"Who are you five? And why have you disobeyed the royal army, and my self?" It was King that spoke up first, rather soft and timed like but confinsing all the same. " Your royal highness, we are the newest edition to the Royal guard, we are the unit sent to protect your self". brian, following the lead jumped in" We were on our way to the armory, then to your royal chambers your highness." Kailey interjected next," Would you not follow us there, then out of here to safty?" hrm..........You look young, but you are the only chance I have to live" The Queen side. Malcome takeing the front of the pack led the way there, they past golden shandilers, and suits of armor so splendidly decorated it could have been made from solid gold.
Have to leave sorry for the cut off.
@drakokirby
A prologue does not have to. It is just a little thing at the beginning.
one tip,every word that has "ing" doesn't have e before it,e.g hate-->hating
like-->liking
fade--->fading
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