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An Emotional Story Part-2

Posted Aug 7, '09 at 11:00am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

227 posts

Repent for something

Once there was a boy from whom his whole family was irritated. He was very naughty and liked to listen bad words and abuses from others. He had a bad habit of stealing. His name was Jason.

He collected stamps from letter cards and sold them at a high rate. Once his father was given policy papers and money of another person. He kept it on the table in his room and went out.

As Jason saw it he tried to open it to see what is in it. When he opened it a huge amount of cash came out. He got very scared thinking that he could be sent to jail. He ran to USA.

But his father got in a problem. He was sent to jail for trying to steal money which he had not done…

His son got very hurt because his father was getting punished because of his faults.

He wanted to repent for this serious mistake. He went to be admitted in the U.S. Army.

Then after 2 years.... He became a general and had a good reputation in the army..

NOW was the time of his repenting. He went in a car to take his father from the jail.

His father came out thinking that what would have happened to his son.. He was seeing many prisoners going with their relatives.. He was feeling very alone.

Then a shining car came towards the jail. His father thought that how lucky that person would be whose son came to take him in a car and I am so unlucky.

When his son stepped out of the car he was surprised and his eyes were filled with tears. He became very happy and his son asked sorry from him and took him to his house RESPECTFULLY............

~SonnyDude~

Comments are Welcome!!

 

Posted Aug 7, '09 at 1:10pm

VoteSocialist

VoteSocialist

969 posts

I knew you had it in you SonnyDude! I always believed in you! This was a great story!!!

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 5:31am

VoteSocialist

VoteSocialist

969 posts

Your wording is terrible still, for example:

He was very naughty and liked to listen bad words and abuses from others. He had a bad habit of stealing. His name was Jason

.

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 7:51am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

227 posts

Ugh.. Now what was terrible in this??

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 8:03am

GAGAMEN

GAGAMEN

2,356 posts

No. I couldn't care less.

-Figures

Then after 2 years.... He became a general and had a good reputation in the army..

-LOL you can`t become a general in the army in two years plus you have to get one of the best school educations for it.

The story is good but seriously solving the problem was too easy and very imaginative.
So he stole big money and they locked his father instead of him, he then went to an army to repent for his serious crime and after a whooping 2 years he already is a General lol, you should read some things about the army.

Final conclusion: All in all the story is good, keep advancing towards better.

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 8:10am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

227 posts

They could not find Jason so they locked his father instead of him as his father was given the money with the policy papers><

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 9:45am

VoteSocialist

VoteSocialist

969 posts

Your wording is terrible still

Ugh.. Now what was terrible in this??

.........

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 9:47am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

227 posts

I will post my next story on 15th August..

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 10:15am

zwoots

zwoots

30 posts

hmm... Very interesting story :D
It's not that emotional though >.>

 

Posted Aug 8, '09 at 10:57am

SonnyDude

SonnyDude

227 posts

Ok..

 
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