ForumsThe TavernChuck Norris jokes

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freakymonkey
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freakymonkey
290 posts
Nomad

hi,guys just keep making more jokes here's three to start you off:

-Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass............ At night.

- Chuck Norris makes cars look both ways before they cross the road.

-There is no such thing as tornadoes Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks

  • 278 Replies
TheDude42
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TheDude42
1,026 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris jokes are stupid. But...
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Marinox
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Marinox
28 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, [b]TWICE

HoodHulk58
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HoodHulk58
1,181 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a mini gun.

Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to center of a tutsee pop.

Chuck Norris is like a hawk a hawk can see a rat from a mile away Chuck Norris can kill a rat with a RHK from a 100 miles away.

mellowman
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mellowman
233 posts
Nomad

chuck norris won an international bike race with two flat tiers and a missing chain.

HoodHulk58
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HoodHulk58
1,181 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris can make a space shuttle out of a old doom-buggy with no tires, a old dirty sock and a scuba tank(with a no air).

Chuck Norris can make a hit album with just saying his name.

Chuck Norris is the reason that george bush is out of the white house.

The only reason Antarctica is so cold is because Chuck Norris is so cool.

ilovemoney249
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ilovemoney249
813 posts
Nomad

-Chuck Norries eats breakfast for breakfast, lunch for lunch, and dinner for dinner.

-The reason Pluto isn't a planet and that it is so far away from Earth is that it is afraid Chuck Norris might RHK it.

-Do you know why Saturn and Uranus have rings? Those are the rings of the wives he divorced and eventually killed.

-The reason why planets revolve around the sun is because Chuck Norris is the center of gravity.

-Chuck Norris can turn on anything just by forcing it too.

-Instead of saying "trick or treat", Chuck Norris says "trick AND treat"

-The reason why we lost the Vietnam War was that Chuck Norris RHK'ed his own men.

-Hitler killed himself because he was afraid Chuck Norris might find him.

Last and but not least (and this is true):I check under my bed that Chuck Norris isn't there.

-I make sure my friends aren't Chuck Norris in disguise.

HoodHulk58
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HoodHulk58
1,181 posts
Nomad

In the year of 2005 Chuck Norris went into the ad business for work-out machines...in the act over the past few years people who have watched these ad's have all died cause of the awesomeness Chuck Norris gives off...his work-out has killed over 25000 people, The Chuck Norris add will kill you.

Armourknight
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Armourknight
1,028 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

Koochman21
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Koochman21
894 posts
Nomad

Stones melting when Chuck Noriss cries...

Armourknight
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Armourknight
1,028 posts
Nomad

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

zombiekiller2
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zombiekiller2
4 posts
Nomad

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris pops microwave popcorn... with his mind.

Omegalv
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Omegalv
18 posts
Nomad

come on this thread is great

Chuck Norris once met an alien that looked a lot like us humans. Or, at least until Chuck round house kicked it in the face. Its new face was captured brilliantly in E.T.

this was an original by me

don't like it, post some better jokes!

Koshionos
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Koshionos
881 posts
Jester

Chuck Norris ended the war between pirates and ninjas

freakymonkey
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freakymonkey
290 posts
Nomad

that sucks no ones making more oh well better make another thread!

supercoo222
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supercoo222
1,270 posts
Nomad

before chuck norris was born... there were no rainbows

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