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First Line Poetry

Posted Jul 2, '10 at 1:41pm

CommanderDude7

CommanderDude7

4,753 posts

As far as I can see
There is stupidity
How can that be?
Why so simply
I am looking at me

The sun blazes in the sky

 

Posted Jul 2, '10 at 1:48pm

NoNameC68

NoNameC68

5,296 posts

Knight

The sun blazes in the sky
On our skin
Sunburn

Today

 

Posted Jul 2, '10 at 2:23pm

aknerd

aknerd

1,431 posts

Today
A compromise between
Yesterday and
Tomorrow

Now
Sweeping between
The concrete past
The liquid future

Here's a tricky one (maybe)
He burned the flower with malice

 

Posted Jul 2, '10 at 7:41pm

Parsat

Parsat

2,223 posts

He burned the flower with malice
God's creation, destruction his
To a sooty, soft abyss.

Next line:
What element do I find my desire?

Parsat's note: Wow! I've seen poem challenges like this done before in other forums with good turnout, but I never reckoned it would attract so many people. Keep it up! I was wondering what everyone would think to a digest or newsletter of sorts of the best lines and poems in every 10 pages (100 posts), posted here? Keep posting your poetry, but let me know what you think.

 

Posted Jul 3, '10 at 2:25am

aknerd

aknerd

1,431 posts

digest or newsletter of sorts of the best lines and poems in every 10 pages (100 posts),


I was actually going to suggest just such a thing...

Question:
May we add punctuation to the first line?
For instance, could I write "What element do I find, my Desire?"

This changes the meaning from asking which element you desire to asking someone else (your desire) which element you find. Subtle, but important.

Anyway, just wondering.

You're totally setting up a "earth wind water or Fire?" second line, so I'm going to do something else because I'm cool like that.

What element do I find my desire?
Does the court of Law call my name?
But there can't be room for another liar
Perhaps a boxing title I shall claim
But the pain too deep, and me a crier
Medice, Ah! To remove other's pain-
But I lack the knowlege this does require
Shall I lead a victorious campaign?
But while goal's may be high, my laziness higher
There is but one place where I can reign:
At Mickey D's, in front of a fryer.

New line:
It was the slow death of a million papercuts
 

Posted Jul 3, '10 at 12:54pm

slayguy8

slayguy8

729 posts

It was the slow death of a million papercuts
the next one hurt more than the last
the feeling of slowly bleeding out
you didnt picture this to end this way
all because of a million papercuts

hey thats my pizza

 

Posted Jul 3, '10 at 12:58pm

CommanderDude7

CommanderDude7

4,753 posts

Hey thats my pizza!
Why dont you get your own?
What do mean Im selfish?
Just leave me alone!

The warrior stood alone.

 

Posted Jul 3, '10 at 3:05pm

slayguy8

slayguy8

729 posts

The warrior stood alone
his heart cold as stone
killing everything in his path
everyone is feeling his wrath

is there anyone to stand
to rid him from this land
is everyone scared of this man
people believe that i can

i am not afraid of this man

 

Posted Jul 3, '10 at 3:06pm

slayguy8

slayguy8

729 posts

ok sorry next line is

what is this thing

 

Posted Jul 3, '10 at 4:18pm

Avorne

Avorne

3,265 posts

What is this thing
I cannot touch it
Nor can I see it
Yet it holds sway
over my very soul
This intangible thing
That dominates me
This thing is love.

The sky of grand azure

 
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