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TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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I decided I'd try and post some of my poems on here, since I liked the first line poem thread so much. I would really like some advice on how to improve. Thanks!

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TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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I have no idea what this kind of poetry is called...it's pretty bad and sort of akward, but I wanted to try something like this out, and practice makes perfect! XD

Dream in the Night

I had a dream the other night,
Where darkness and the glare of light,
Were twined in everlasting flight,
And neither had the greater might,
As the black haze obscured my sight,
The two forces continued to fight,
Soaring up like shimmering kites,
Striking out of petty spite,
They dealt me a mighty smite,
And I drifted back towards the light.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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It is called, and
omgIfoundthebestwordtorhymerEVARaren'tyousojealous type poem.
And it works.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

Thanks! XD

Here's another one:

I fell upon the graceful shore,
The tide still growing ever more,
Casting shells from Ocean's floor
As the waves echoed like forgotten lore,
Mimicking cries from death's own door,
The weakened gasps of the sick and poor,
Who knew what the Ocean had in store?
But memories forgotten, forever more.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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HILL

'Twas light upon the grassy hill,
The hill I viewed from my bare sill,
The sill worn down, and worn down still,
Still forgotten, the lonely mill,
The mill where hopes and dreams are killed.

Oh, Sandwich god, I'll stop now. :P

SupaLegit
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SupaLegit
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I fell upon the graceful shore,
The tide still growing ever more,
Casting shells from Ocean's floor
As the waves echoed like forgotten lore,
Mimicking cries from death's own door,
The weakened gasps of the sick and poor,
Who knew what the Ocean had in store?
But memories forgotten, forever more.

I really enjoyed this poem. Not too many poems with an oceanic theme to them, great job! But you got 'death's own door' from me, didn't you ;O
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,938 posts
750

I really enjoyed this poem. Not too many poems with an oceanic theme to them, great job! But you got 'death's own door' from me, didn't you ;O


Actually, I forgot about that. Maybe my subconscious did though.
I think It'd be cool to write a poem in the style of the Raven. Maybe I'll make that a week-long project or something.
SupaLegit
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SupaLegit
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Actually, I forgot about that. Maybe my subconscious did though.
I think It'd be cool to write a poem in the style of the Raven. Maybe I'll make that a week-long project or something.

That would be cool, I was actually considering making a Epic or mock-epic... But I ended up being too lazy. A poem like Raven would be awesome!
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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Okay, Breakdown of the Raven (I'm posting my thinking process on here, by the way.)
Use of Alliteration,
Repetition,
Meter,
Rhyming,
Personification,
Simile,
Metaphor...

Oh, man. This will be quite a task.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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I like them Tacky, I really do. I can't say anything bad about them because there isn't anything that sticks out in a bad way.
So yay for you
I'm anticipating this upcoming work.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

Do not anticipate too much, there is no telling what it will turn out like. :P

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

This is from the Nonet contest, for while I'm thinking of an actual topic for my poem. :P

Addiction

The spell has me in its horrid grasp
I fight against the straining rope
That ties to all I regret
That ties to my mistakes
I can not forget
It consumes me
Addiction.
Destroys.
All.

SupaLegit
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SupaLegit
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Tacky, as for your Raven idea, I'll make my poem in extended metaphor, and maybe you could do the same for yours?

I think that would be pretty sick!

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

That would be cool.
I still don't even know what the topic of my poem will be, so don't get too excited.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

Watch out, they cry,
As a car tumbles from a rail,
But it is to no avail, and
Churning, charred metal
Smashes into Earth,
Smashes into Earth,
Crashes,
Chaotic and corroded,
Twisted iron,
And from, the ruined rubble,
It is silent.
And the silence chokes,
Though the sifting smoke
Drifting from the ruined,
Silent as a grave.

My first attempt at some alliteration, some repetition, some rhyming (sorta).
Tell me what you think! XD

wil4813
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wil4813
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Nice poems Tacky, wish I could write that well.

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