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TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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I decided I'd try and post some of my poems on here, since I liked the first line poem thread so much. I would really like some advice on how to improve. Thanks!

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TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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Woohoo. I will read it at some point today.

I'm starving so give me some food.
I'd eat cereal but I'm not in the mood,
Throw me some meat;
anything to eat,
Or I may act very crude.

SupaLegit
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SupaLegit
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I'm starving so give me some food.
I'd eat cereal but I'm not in the mood,
Throw me some meat;
anything to eat,
Or I may act very crude.

Sounds like me when I'm starving and can't find something to eat >;O
Great job on the portrayal of me! Lol
ManiacalMind
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ManiacalMind
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Good work, Tacky.
Can't really fault you on anything.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
1,938 posts
750

Good work, Tacky.
Can't really fault you on anything.


Wooohooo!! ;D

Hmmm...should I write more limericks tommorrow or switch to something else? Decisions, decisions....
MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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SupaLegit, please take the flirting elsewhere.
And whatever you feel like Tacky.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

SupaLegit, please take the flirting elsewhere.
And whatever you feel like Tacky.


Hahahaha, thanks, Moon.
I think I'll do one more day of Limericks. No more for today though. :P
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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Since I am exceedingly depressed that our thread got locked, I think I'll write a depressing limerick.

There once was a wonderful thread.
Even better than sliced bread
Then it got locked,
And I lost a sock,
And now I'm losing my head.

d_dude
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d_dude
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Since I am exceedingly depressed that our thread got locked, I think I'll write a depressing limerick.

There once was a wonderful thread.
Even better than sliced bread
Then it got locked,
And I lost a sock,
And now I'm losing my head.


RIP This thread is currently about:

July 1 2010 - April 3 2011

It will be greatly missed.
jeol
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jeol
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A real masterpiece. Made me cry!

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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I know, right? :P
It should get some sort of award.

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

I know I was going to do another day of Limericks, but I had a writing block, and I couldn't resist doing another First Line Poem. Here it is: (I'm not sure what it is. A Sonnet? A prose poem?)

A Tragedy Unfolds

Dashing into the forest,
With her hair shining gold,
And her hand-spun silken dress,
Was beginning to unfold.

Her tender feet stumbled,
On the thorny earth,
She was not used to fleeing,
She was from noble birth.

Her pursuer followed suit,
Murder glinting in his eyes,
He held a dagger in his hands,
He followed the prey's cries.

With his steel-toed boots,
He caught up to her soon,
He caught her with his wretched hands,
Her death lit by the moon.

Her pale skin grew more pallid still,
And her arms went limp and cold.
The stars even mourned her death,
Or that is what I'm told.

The murderer was caught and tried,
And sentenced quickly to death,
His pathetic cries and pleads lasted
Until his final breath.

As for the maiden, her image stays
Within the trees and sky,
You can see her walking through the woods,
Sadness in her eyes.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
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I LOVE THE LAST ONE.
Like you have no idea, I love it that much.

Her tender feet stumbled,
On the thorny earth,
She was not used to fleeing,
She was from noble birth.

Her tender feet stumbled,
As they hit the thorny earth.
That sounds a wee bit better though.
TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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I LOVE THE LAST ONE.
Like you have no idea, I love it that much.


THANK YOU!

Her tender feet stumbled,
As they hit the thorny earth.
That sounds a wee bit better though.


That does sound a lot better... Thanks for the advice.
TheGr8est
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TheGr8est
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Tacky i never knew you were into poems???
LOL

TackyCrazyTNT
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TackyCrazyTNT
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750

I am.
And also, it would be nice if you could help me critique them.

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