Forums → Forum Games → The Many Uses of OctoCan - The Best Canned Octopus In The World!
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OctoCan has an almost infinite number of uses. It's up to you to figure out what they are. Of course, no vulgar or obscene material.
Also, OctoCan has a clan now. For information on joining Clan OctoCan, contact [url=MagicTree]
I'll start:
1. Instant Seafood.
If you happen to be entertaining guests from the South Pacific who are having dinner with you only to discover that the local pizza joint was the epicenter of an inexplicable volcanic eruption, OctoCan is your answer. Mix the contents of one can of OctoCan with one box of Seafood Helper and cook for 15 minutes. When the timer rings, you'll have a large spread of calamari ready to serve.
2. Crowd Control.
When loaded into low velocity 40mm grenade cartridges or spring-operated canisters, OctoCan is excellent for non-lethal riot dispersal. When fired, the canisters will burst open and release multiple octopi at the angry mob. The octopi will then attach themselves to the targets faces, causing them to scream and flail about trying to get the squishiness off their faces. The sight of people running around with octopi clinging to their faces will also have a profound psychological effect on other rioters, causing them to disperse before the same fate befalls them.
With 24 hours' notice, Paladin Industries can have 50 truckloads of OctoCan riot ammo ready for transport to New York to clean up that little mess in Zuccotti Park. >
3. Practical Joke/Revenge.
If someone is bothering you and you want to get them back, or if you're just a practical joker, OctoCan is the resource you need. Three of the easiest and most popular methods of using it are as follows:
1. Sneak up behind your target and empty a can of OctoCan down the back of their shirt. It has approximately the same effect as a slushball similarly applied, except that it's lukewarm, it's squishy, it wriggles around, and it doesn't melt, so it's actually way better.
2. Empty a can of OctoCan onto your target's chair just before they sit down. Sitting into such squirmy squishiness has extremely disturbing psychological effects and may even leave your target mentally scarred for life. >
3. Just tilt a can of OctoCan back and forth in the presence of your target. That constant "schlorp...schlorp...schlorp...schlorp..." sound will drive ANYONE to insanity. >
Okay, your turn. Surprise me!
- 335 Replies
Sorry to double-post but I had to!
Dyeable Ink!
Octocan now has the capacity to hold coloured ink! So now your ink-foutain, Octo-Pen and many more can come in one of many stylish colours;
Sea-Blue...
Sand Orange
Pacific Pink
And all new, and exclusive Glow-In-The-Dark!
236. New! MageOcto!
Is your normal OctoCan just not cut out for the job. Do you need elemental powers on your side? Well, MageOcto is just the thing you need! MageOcto comes in different styles, including;
EarthOcto WaterOcto
FireOcto LightMageOcto
AirOcto And last but not least, DarkMageOcto!
[i]Warning! DarkOcto cannot be used to kill or any other evil activity, although LightMageOcto and DarkMageOcto will engage into an epic wizard battle at sight of eachother
238. Flavored Octocan!
Do you need sauce for your dish? Are you out of ingredients? Octocan to the rescue, with New and Improved Flavored Octocan! The ink is also a sauce!
239. Friend
Lonely? No friends? Pop open a can of OctoCan and instantly you have yourself a friend!
240 evolve stone
cant evole your magmar snivy not strong enougn as it is then open an evoleapus and it will evolve your pokemon to the full evolution and lvl 200
warning octocan is not responsible for pokemon not obayeing you you being seen of as a hacker or your ds explodeing from the epicness
241: Item transformer!
Turns an item--any item--into a much awesomer version!
(Expansion on #241)
For instance, any toy (or weapon or even animal for that matter) becomes 10 times awesomer! Just pop open a can, put the octopus over the item, and wait for 30 minutes. Then, Ta-Da!
Disclaimer: Resulting Item may be covered in octopus poo. You have been warned.
Tried to post this before, but it didn't go through...very strange.
Use #242: Music Variety
Planning a cool bash but forgot to get a band to lay down some tunes? Dont worry, OctoCan is just the thing you need! While the original isn't much help, OctoRock, OctoPunk, OctoTechno and OctoRap (And MUCH MORE!) provide all the awesomeness you need! Each variety is specially trained to play instruments and sing according to the music Genre! All for $19.95, or an OctoPack (8) for $100! You save 60 bucks!
#243: Octo-Man!
Ever hear of the superhero AquaMan? He sucks, right? well, no need to fear, OctoMan is here! Just open the new SuperOctoCan, apply him to yourself (dont worry, his suckers ensure he wont fall off) and pose! Now you can fight crime on land as well as in the water! Stop polluters and whalers from hurting the sweet little animals with powers such as:
OctoGun: an 8-Barrel Ink cannon with the power of a Howitzer.
OctoCall: Summon a swarm of octopi to your aid!
OctoArmor: The squishy body of OctoMan absorbs anything from a sword to bullets!
AND MUCH MORE! 59.95 +10.99 S&H. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery.
Disclaimer: OctoCan will not fight on the side of darkness. Should you turn into a villain, be prepared to have your own OctoMan suit fight you!
244: OctoCraft!
Yes, OctoCan is finally expanding into Video Games! This new mod for Minecraft, OctoCraft implements a new mob: Octo! He's friendly, and should you encounter him in the ocean and feed him some food, he'll follow you around! He can do anything: Fight off other Mobs, build your house, farm, mine, even craft whatever you tell him too!
Minecraft 1.4.2 required.
3-IN-1 POST! Too many for you?
Oh my Awesome. OK, MAH TURN!
245: OctoHouse!
Tired of living in lean-tos and shacks? Lost in the desert and need some protection from the elements? Then OctoHouse can help you! Just pop open a can, and watch OctoHouse transform into a comfortable (albeit in only one color) dwelling!
246: OctoTarget Targeting System!
Always keep on missing the mark? Forgetting to aim before you shoot? Then Let OctoTarget do it for you! Just pop it on your weapon and the octopus does all the rest!
247: OctoShield
Dishing it out, but unable to take it? Always getting owned in sword fights? Then Octocan can help! Just pop out the octopus and it will transform into a shield that can withstand anything, from sword strikes to bullets to even a tactical nuke or two!
So. What now?
248. Octo!Japan
Do you love Japan? Do you love OctoCan? Well now, with Octo!Japan, you can have two of them in one irresistible little manga-style octopus! Octo!Japan can speak and write fluent Japanese, it's ink is perfect for hirigana, kangi and katakana characters and you can even chop off some of it's tentacles for instant sushi! What's not to love about Octo!Japan?
249. Octo paper
Are you in the bathroom taking a dump and relized your out of toilet paper? Not anymore introducing the new Octo paper! All you have to do is wipe your behind and then wash off all that junk off. The best part is it's totally reusable, Octo paper is perfect parties, picnics, and camping. So why wait, buy Octo paper now, and if you buy it in the next 24 hours we'll throw in a 2nd Octo paper just for you. Call 1-212-Octo-paper So what are you waiting for? Call NOW.
Was looking back, found this on page 15 and just had to correct it.
135: teleporter pad
are you stuck in traffic rather often? have you ever wanted to say "beam me up scotty" without looking like a jack***? then look no further, the Octocan scotty edition can take you anywhere you want to go, and you can use that startrek reference multiple times without it getting lame.
"beam me up scotty"
Wouldn't that be "Beam me up Octy?"
250: Best IRL spell ever!
Simply attach OctoCan to a branch then walk around saying "Inkus Facus" Make people really mad at you! Squirts ink at their faces!
Yay quarter of a 1000 post!
Congrats!
251: Octo Jetpack or OctoWhirly
Want to get to work but can't stand rush hour? Looking for an easy escape method? Using OctoCan, you can! Pop it onto your back, fill it with OctoOil (OctoCan's Premium, multi-use ink!) and set it's tentacles whirling around like a helicopter. You can rise to any altitude! A must-have!
253: OctoBallon
Want to fly high through the sky but can't stand the speed of the OctoWhirly? Do you want a spacious and peaceful ride? Inflate an OctoCan with OctoCanium, tie the tentacles to a OctoPaper basket and you are ready to fly!
[i]Warning! Beware of seagulls. They like octopus and may pop your OctoBallon!
3 in one post!
[b]252: OctoCan Parachute!
Are you falling from unimaginable heights? Have you fallen out of you OctoBallon? Has your OctoWhirly run out of oil? All you need is to use OctoCan as a parachute! Pull the rip-tentacle and OctoCan's body will inflate and you will float gently to the ground!
#253: Octoputer
is your computer running slow? is it too old to get the latest in everything modern today? then try octocan! just open it up and it turns into the world's most powerful supercomputer, which is able to process more data than anything you've ever dreamed before. It even learns from your activity in order to improve your experience.
Warning: be careful which sites/ programs you use. it could result in anything from embarassing data being exposed to the computer gaining sentience. viruses will make the octoputer explode with ink and electrical components as well.
-Blade
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