ForumsArt, Music, and Writing

Moon's Metrophobia

Posted Feb 16, '14 at 11:37pm



9,478 posts

Going 100 down the highway.

I knew a guy who was clocked by cops at 114 after his gf broke up with him. Kept his license by 1 point.

Posted Feb 17, '14 at 1:30pm



3,425 posts

I believe this is the last of my FLP poetry.

Jun 21st, 2013
Two sides of the same coin
Always together
Will never see each other
Is it really for the better?

I will now have to scrounge through my old thread to find the rest of my poetry from the contests and stuff.


Posted Feb 18, '14 at 4:49pm



3,425 posts

Now that I have completed the FLP portion of my archive, I will start on the poetry contest entries. I believe that my old thread also contains all of them, but I am not sure if I have already posted them here or not. I don't have the dates for these, either, but anywho.

Calming rhythm,
Steady waves.
Continuous drumming,
For all days.

Crashing softly,
Against the land.
So I lay down,
On the damp sand.

Feel the water,
Brushing against my feet.
Returning again,
Repeating the beat.

The wave is something,
You cannot amass.
It belongs to the Earth,
It's something you cannot grasp.

Can't hold it in your hand,
Or keep it in a jar.
But you can see it,
Up close or afar.

Again I shall repeat that I am open for criticism! I know my wording in most of my poems seems a bit off. I sacrificed that for the rhyme scheme, but I'm not sure how I will fix it and I don't have the will to sit down and edit this before I post it here. Besides, it's an archive, it doesn't necessarily have to be 'good'


Posted Feb 18, '14 at 4:58pm



2,599 posts

I am open for criticism!

Can I criticize the lack of new material?

Posted Feb 19, '14 at 12:32pm



3,425 posts

Can I criticize the lack of new material?

You can, but it won't get you very far. I have attempted at writing in the FLP, but it is quite a disaster.

The emotional sea,
slowly kills,
by swallowing me.

Pulling me under,
as I reach the top,
As the sky continues to thunder.

Fury, depression, love, hate,
choke my heart,
till it's too late.

No one tried to save me,
they just watched me drown,
even though they could all see.

They saw how,
I needed help,
But it doesn't matter now.

Their sweet lies,
Muffled my screams,
No one could hear my terrified cries.

So here I will die,
Because I can't win the fight,
I wasn't strong enough to defy.

I'm so sorry I have to keep posting these pieces from when I was a little punk I am so very sorry please forgive me

These are the two things that I have recently done in the FLP. I may try to come back and expand on them after I'm done with the archive mess, but we shall see

I almost forgot to tell you, but
I left my heart in your hands.
I didn't mean for it to happen.
This was never in my plans.

Dum didalee doo
The pit-pat of my shoe
Dum didalee dee
The tip-tap on my knee

It physically pains me that I can't seem to write anything with meaning anymore. But I shan't give up! I will keep attempting. Prepare yourselves.

Posted Feb 20, '14 at 9:06am



1,348 posts

write anything with meaning anymore.

Meaning doesn't need to be unhappiness. Try something meaningful that's more external?

So this is just me, but I don't rhyme in my poetry because I feel constrained by the words I have to choose to fit a rhyme. I don't want to tell you what to do, but maybe you should try something without rhyming.

Posted Feb 21, '14 at 12:40am



3,425 posts

Where there is life
There is death.
Where there is doom
There is hope.
Where there is hate
There is love.

It holds us together,
As much as it tears us apart
It cuts us away from each other,
While taping us all back in place.

Such contradictions
We will never understand
And to live through them
Is something that can't be planned

What do you choose?
Love, Hope, and Life?
Or Death, Doom, and Strife?
It isn't up to the world,
It is up to you.
What will you do?

So this is just me, but I don't rhyme in my poetry because I feel constrained by the words I have to choose to fit a rhyme. I don't want to tell you what to do, but maybe you should try something without rhyming.

I really wish I could. It's sort of difficult for me to NOT rhyme, most of the time. I mean I can try to, but I actually prefer rhyme (if you couldn't tell by the 50+ poems that rhyme) I may attempt it in the future, though. We shall see!

Posted Feb 22, '14 at 5:13pm



3,425 posts

Well I have been waiting a lil bit, but I actually have written something new. I'm a little rusty, so please forgive me. But I decided to expand on the FLP one I did.

I almost forgot to tell you, but
I left my heart in your hands.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
Trust me, this wasn't planned.

We've all been there before.
The world of suspicion.
Is there a single soul you can trust
With such a fearful disposition?

But you've somehow scaled the walls
Managed to crawl into the cracks.
Now that you've found a place in my heart,
I don't know if I can ever go back.

It's hard to trust again
After harboring heart break.
But somehow you've discovered a cure
to soothe the agonizing ache.

I am totally open to comments and suggestions on this one, guys. I thought of writing a bit more, but I feel like four stanzas is a good stopping point for now.


Posted Mar 1, '14 at 11:39pm



3,425 posts

I hope I'll be done with this archive mess soon, because it's poems like this that make me hesitant to finish.

As I look into the water,
All that I see
Is my angry face,
Glaring back at me.

I look determined,
But I feel my own fear.
All I have to do,
Is jump down from this pier.

I can't look to the sky
Because I don't want to worry about my salvation,
Isn't taking my own life
Condeming me to ****ation?

Oh no
Here I go
Wondering about what is next.
Is there a way to say that I am afraid?
Without having some one coming in to invade
On my poor little pity parade?
I can't remeber the last time I prayed.

But this is why I want to leave
So I don't have to wonder.
If this next life really exists.

After I stop unclenching my fists,
I jump off the rail, and start to fall.
I hit the water, with a sound as loud as thunder. Hoping it was heard by all.

As I lose my sensory feelings, One clear thought screams through my head.
I'm going under and there is nothing I can do.
Nothing I want to do.
Nothing to be done.
I guess I lost in the long run

Because all I see is black
I don't hear a voice,
Trying to call me back.
I don't feel my self being lifted or pulled
To heaven or hell.
There goes my shot at figuring it out.
Seems usless now to think, Oh well.

I feel myself
fading away
Not even darkness
Just a generic shade of grey.
So this is what it boils down to.
Nothing in itself.
Let me fade off with this last adieu.


Posted Mar 4, '14 at 2:53am



3,425 posts

Goooooodness gracious I really do wonder what was going on in my head during those years of middle school and high school. Such a pity I can't remember, but it's probably for the better that I can't remember what made me so darn sad and angsty.

Sitting still,
Time means nothing,
Everything around,
Moving slowly.

Don't understand.
What just happened,
Or how it came to be.
All there was,
Was a little kid
Running through street.

Hearing sirens,
Rush around me,
Can't feel my feet on the ground.
Everything is back to normal,
and I make the mistake of looking around.

Lifted next to another gurney,
With a little boy strapped up tight.
His head was bleeding freely,
He was looking into a light.

He then looked over at me,
And I gave him a painful smile.
He wasn't even 7 years old,
What a poor little child.

He gazed up to the light again,
A smile broke across his face.
He then drifted to the sky,
To a better place.

I couldn't seem to grasp,
That it is I that caused his death.
I didn't realize that I was responsible,
For making him breath his last breath.

Reply to Moon's Metrophobia

You must be logged in to post a reply!