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Bullying

Posted Oct 21, '13 at 3:20pm

Kasic

Kasic

5,572 posts

correct me if I'm wrong because this is just an estimate

guess*. I don't know why I put estimate. Edit button nee3ded.

 

Posted Oct 21, '13 at 5:31pm

thepunisher93

thepunisher93

1,859 posts

It's heavily implied. You give example after example of fights you've gotten into. Though you repeatedly say this doesn't happen often, it obviously happens far more than it should. Getting into a fist fight is very serious, yet, correct me if I'm wrong because this is just an estimate, you probably get into at least one every other month.

The last fight I got into was, july 2010.
more than 3 years ago.
there were minor conflicts but cooler heads prevailed.

I thought you were using weak in another sense. If all you meant was that people with illnesses are less able to handle these types of situations due to how it affects them, then we need not go further.

What else could it possibly mean?

you're a bully to people being bullied, by using yourself as an example of how beating the crap out of someone can make the other person stop and then calling them weak for not being able to beat the other person up or being affected by their bully's actions.

I take my words back, they are not weak, I am just stronger, happy now?

I dimly recall posts about broken noses and knocked out teeth. What's a serious fight, Punisher? When someone gets knifed?

Here, actually yes.

 

Posted Oct 24, '13 at 9:27pm

Kennethhartanto

Kennethhartanto

235 posts

Here, actually yes.

a serious fight is not just when someone gets knifed. in my country there are people killed in a fist fight between high school students. not all of them ended with someone knifed and died, mostly you punch people till they are dead.

What else could it possibly mean?

actually punisher, you don't give any indication of what you meant with how disease affects people to how they react to circumstances, which let to this "escalation".

The last fight I got into was, july 2010.
more than 3 years ago.
there were minor conflicts but cooler heads prevailed.

why do you have to fight in that time if you said that  "violence is the last resort"? i don't get it because it contradicts your principle. this suggest me that you are a"shoot first ask question later" type of guy. explain why you get into that fight to correct my assumption.

I don't know what you meant with "minor conflict" either. that is pretty ambiguous because what you think is minor conflict can be major to others. give an example too on what you meant with minor conflicts. my guess that it is a fist fight judging on what you said about a serious fight being "someone gets knifed" that kind of thing.

 

Posted Oct 24, '13 at 10:58pm

thepunisher93

thepunisher93

1,859 posts

a serious fight is not just when someone gets knifed. in my country there are people killed in a fist fight between high school students. not all of them ended with someone knifed and died, mostly you punch people till they are dead.

Then your highschool kids are crazy.
Our fights are not like punching to death or something, its usually people get angry and throw a few jabs, then bystanders come in between and its be bygones.

why do you have to fight in that time if you said that  "violence is the last resort"? i don't get it because it contradicts your principle. this suggest me that you are a"shoot first ask question later" type of guy. explain why you get into that fight to correct my assumption.

One day,i was having a meal, a friend called me and said
"hey, you saw X guy or his pals somwhere?"
Ï said no and asked what happenned he just changed the subject.
This happenned three times, Third time I insisted about the answer and he told me that a mutual friend (Y) of ours was about to be beat up by some of guy X friends so he was just checking if others are on the way or not.
I asked him where things were going down and Just ran towards there.
The scene I saw when I reached there was shocking, it was just Y surrounded by more than a dozen guys and Y's and mine mutual friends and Y's brothers were standing on a side for they were only four and one of them was already pretty banged up.
Now the situation was, those X's friends will beat Y and then will back off and Y (may god bless him with some sense) Would curse them profusely, they will come back and beat him and then back off and so the cycle continues.
I saw that and thenI saw the bystanders, who were no doubt scared ****less.
Then I went in, screaming BACK OFF! BACK OFF!, Y, SHUT UP!
Those who tried to beat him again, they got to know back of my hand very intimately.
To tell the truth, I was pretty much scared from the inside, I only went in there hoping that other four will join soon, but no one did. Still the assailiants backed off.

 

Posted Oct 28, '13 at 9:44pm

metalplastic

metalplastic

114 posts

Bullying of any kind is bad and should be punished. It should also be avoided to a certain degree and prevented to a certain degree as well. I think it could never be completely eliminated.

That's what I think about it at least.

 

Posted Oct 28, '13 at 10:48pm

pft

pft

482 posts

To understand on why bullying is done on the first place. We have to know key issues.

1. one can think bullying is a power thing. Some people like to control others to be on top.
2. Family issues, bullying from family especially at a young age might make people think that is normal.
3. They have been socially ignored and it is a means for recognition.

There could be more reasons but logically thinking. Our behaviors and everything we are is genetic or environmental.

That does not mean we can't change who we are. With the genes we have within us there will be good and bad ones the ones that effect our behavior will depend on what we experience. If you find your either a bully or being bullied and it is effecting your life. Then something has to change. Often people won't realize their flaws until it is long down the line. If there is means for change then you can. Within us we have a brain which is capable of doing so much only if we learned how to control it properly.

Me personally i have never been bullied nor have bullied  That is based on my own behavior. There have been attempts when i was young and at school where at this school there was a guy who thought he was on top and basically ruled the school. I often get on with just about everything but i normally keep myself to a select few of people who are normally more intelligent than others. Since i was mostly withdrawn from the rest of the school the guy in-charge didn't feel like they had the power over me and my friends like the rest of the school. So they attempted to take control, first coming out with slanders, which didn't get to me since i don't really care what others think that are unimportant to me. Once that was ineffective on me. Then came physical harassment. which in this case i can't ignore. It started with attempting to destroy the school work i did. I told them not to, the didn't listen so i was left with no other option than to do the exact same to them i torn up their work. This did make them mad and got violent. The whole class was rather shocked of what i just did as no one had the guts to stand up to this guy. After taking a punch from this guy, i didn't hesitate to retaliate and hit them back. It was a short fight but alot of punches had been throw it ended with us physically rolling on the floor and 3 teachers physically separating us. Some might think violence wasn't the best way to stop this but i had just started high school and had anger issues myself which i learned to control just not in a physical sense. I don't like to fight but it's not an option, if i know there is an unavoidable situation my whole body fills with adrenaline. Everything then seems to me slower and all i have i alot of anger plus the sense of pain while fighting is non existent for me. It is afterwards though.

My point for all this story is stand up for what you believe in and help others in the situation. Being nice is all good but too nice make you a pushover. My attitude to people is. They way they treat me or people i know i treat them the same way. If people know i am nice and try to take advantage i can be stubborn and stand up for myself. The balance of the both should make bullying less of a occurrence.

One more point, Why do people care what they say about each other? I can't answer this i know most people do care, The way i am i have never cared. Learning how to handle emotions is key. If bullies see you are upset that is their fuel, if they can't get to you or you don't let on it does they will likely give up. Afterwards if it did effect you learn how to deal with these things and tell yourself they are not worth anything to you and why should it matter.

 

Posted Nov 7, '13 at 12:23am

metalplastic

metalplastic

114 posts

Is that like help the bully-ee than stop the bully-er?

 

Posted Nov 7, '13 at 12:31am

pangtongshu

pangtongshu

8,479 posts

Umm..

"Is that like help the victim then stop the bully"

Is that what you meant?

 

Posted Nov 7, '13 at 9:38am

Kennethhartanto

Kennethhartanto

235 posts

Why do people care what they say about each other?

they care because they think it affects them, that's one. maybe the words struck a nerve, that's two. or pure solidarity on someone you love or trust could be a reason. you can't ignore everything someone throws at you with words. i know this because i had tried but i can't hold back if someone says the correct words .If you say that you can, then i ask you, can you stand by when your parents were being discredited? can you hold your temper if someone says bad things about your wive? can you hold back if your friends was being said rude words?

 

Posted Nov 7, '13 at 11:54am

pft

pft

482 posts

Is that like help the bully-ee than stop the bully-er?

Most problems start at home, i am saying if we can teach people how to deal with problems like this we can avoid them being bullies.

.If you say that you can, then i ask you, can you stand by when your parents were being discredited? can you hold your temper if someone says bad things about your wive? can you hold back if your friends was being said rude words?

I will explain this,  It took me awhile to get into the state of mind so emotions doesn't effect the way i think or act. My parents can handle them self, i am not particularly close with them. My dad is a guy who can more than handle himself he is always critical of everyone and feels the need to insult others he is very intolerable. He himself came from a home of alcoholics and his parents didn't give him the time of day. So when he younger he was normally in trouble with the police and others. Probably for a bid of attention. He does know this is wrong, he of-course didn't do well in school and normally didn't go. Was always in the headteachers office. He didn't realize what he did was wrong. Where i am from there was alot of children doing this and education wasn't really important. He regrets all of this and so when i was born i was to be everything he wanted to be. To get all the best grades in school and have a high paying job. When ever something goes wrong for me he doesn't like it and i get the blame Since i am suppose to be living the life he wished he could. Even when i do well he is critical from jealousy since he can't have this.

I have acted on defending my mother though,against an abusive guy (not my dad they split up long before this). Arguments between them is their issue i don't get involved in. As i have previously mentioned i help and defend those that can't help them-self this is not based on emotions, just a code i have.

Well i am not married and i don't plan to be. I do have relationships but nothing usually long term. I don't need more burden on me and seeking knowledge and my friends is all i really need. I would use the same rules though, if someone picks on someone i do step in based on my code. I don't think these are emotional in the slightest, unless a sense of fairness and justice is an emotion?

If your learning to deal with emotions or comments made about you. Don't expect it to happen fast. Instead of letting people know what they say effect you. Hold it in and then deal with it, yourself at home. Ask yourself why do these words effect you? If they say something to you say something back, What i do is pretend i feel sorry for them, If in-front of their friends this often will embarrass them. If what they say doesn't appear to effect you. Then there is no point in saying anything to you. Also they might see if they annoy you they get embarrassed which isn't worth it for them. They might of-course try to attack you if you say this so be prepared. Stand your ground and show your not scared. Even if you take the beaten they know your stand up to them. Then will likely leave you alone.

 
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