ForumsWEPRBullying

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157C
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157C
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What do You think about bulling? i get bullied myself and it's not fun Plz reply what you think about it because it cause suicide,people bring knives and guns to school, and it just hurts them. What do you think? Don't be scared to stand up, Speak Up!

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Kasic
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Kasic
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Fight fire with fire, they bully you, bully them more.


Here we have a basic misunderstanding of the concept of bullying.

There are three parts to what defines an action to be bullying: Imbalance of power is the most important. There is then actions or words which are intended to cause harm emotionally or physically. Lastly, it must be chronic.

A bigger kid walking up to a smaller one and taking their money/hitting them is theft/assault. Not bullying.

A kid who makes a joke without intent of embarrassing anyone is not bullying someone who becomes embarrassed.

A kid who constantly light-heartedly messes with someone and does not cause them distress is obviously, not a bully.

Mixing two together produces similar results, but are still not bullying.

Chronic + Intent to harm = Discrimination.
Intent to harm + Imbalance of power = Assault/etc.
Imbalance of power + Chronic = Awkward relationship.

It's only when you have all three parts that something is considered bullying. If the victim is capable of fighting back and stopping the bully, that's called a fight or having an enemy. Not bullying. Now, the other person could still be intending to bully them, but they are not being bullied if they can defend themselves from it. It's just aggravation at that point.
xgeogander
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xgeogander
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just get use to it. -_-
it's your life. just accept it

Devoidless
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Devoidless
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just get use to it. -_-
it's your life. just accept it

So you like spitting the same rhetoric the school system has been using for ages? "Boys will be boys." "It's part of growing up."

Bull. It is reasoning like that which leads to people killing themselves or having severe mental trauma for the rest of their life due to being bullied, and others becoming psychopaths that can only get through life by roughing someone else up as bullies.
Vendablebow
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Vendablebow
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Bully's are not strong, but weak minded individuals. That is why they feel the need to pick on others. If your a strong minded individual, just intellectually shut them up. That is your greatest weapon, knowledge. It is literally your power. Also, if your bigger than a bully picking on a friend of yours, or just some poor kid you see getting picked on in school. Say something to the bully, that's what I did. They don't like it very well when they get put in their place.

MattEmAngel
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MattEmAngel
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If your a strong minded individual, just intellectually shut them up. That is your greatest weapon, knowledge. It is literally your power.


Bullys, as a generality, exercise superiority to a point of violence. Being smarter intellectually is not going to stop them from hurting you. On the contrary. A bully wants to be superior, and if he can't be intellectually superior, he'll be physically superior. No school bully (that I've ever heard of) has ever said "Give me your money or I'll talk about Calculus."

Also, if your bigger than a bully picking on a friend of yours, or just some poor kid you see getting picked on in school. Say something to the bully, that's what I did. They don't like it very well when they get put in their place


It wasn't that you were smarter. It was that you were bigger. He would have picked on you just as much if you were smaller than him.
Vendablebow
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Vendablebow
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It wasn't that you were smarter. It was that you were bigger. He would have picked on you just as much if you were smaller than him.


Well turning a blind eye to the BS wont help either man.
Kasic
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Kasic
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Bully's are not strong, but weak minded individuals. That is why they feel the need to pick on others.


This is another common misconception about bullying. Bullies may be bullies because they are trying to deal with their own issues and are taking it out on others, but that is far from the case every time. Many bullies are also victims of bullying, and many bullies don't realize that they are being a bully.

Ever heard the line, "I was just joking"? That's the truth for some of them, they didn't intend for things to go as far as they did or didn't realize it was hurting the other person.

Any time you try to shove one reason onto a broad issue, all you do is make yourself look foolish.

Well turning a blind eye to the BS wont help either man.


Making the bully look like an idiot or picking a fight with them won't help either.

If you want to stop bullying, there's a few good options.

1) Stop doing whatever it is that you're being bullied for. This is the most simple solution. If you can't stop then ignore this.

2) Confront the bully, but not in a violent or antagonistic way. They may not be aware that what they are doing is bothering you. If they don't stop after you do this, move on to the next point.

3) Ignore the bully. If you stop responding to their taunts, they'll lose interest. If after a few weeks they don't stop, move on.

4) Involve teachers/parents/friends and ask them for their support. At this point you have taken every reasonable action against the bully that will not get you in trouble. Teachers/parents have much more authority than your friends and will be able to help you far better.

Violence may stop a bully, but it may also make things worse. Not even counting that you can be punished for retaliating.
Vendablebow
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Vendablebow
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Making the bully look like an idiot or picking a fight with them won't help either.

If you want to stop bullying, there's a few good options.

1) Stop doing whatever it is that you're being bullied for. This is the most simple solution. If you can't stop then ignore this.

2) Confront the bully, but not in a violent or antagonistic way. They may not be aware that what they are doing is bothering you. If they don't stop after you do this, move on to the next point.

3) Ignore the bully. If you stop responding to their taunts, they'll lose interest. If after a few weeks they don't stop, move on.

4) Involve teachers/parents/friends and ask them for their support. At this point you have taken every reasonable action against the bully that will not get you in trouble. Teachers/parents have much more authority than your friends and will be able to help you far better.

Violence may stop a bully, but it may also make things worse. Not even counting that you can be punished for retaliating.


Sad thing is, by the time some of the students that have been in the news got to step 4 they committed suicide. At some point we have to stop "thinking" about what the bully needs, and deal with the bully himself/herself. If someone says something to someone jokingly, and it hurts the other person's feelings on a consistent basis, I highly doubt they were ever joking in the first place. See my point? I bully doesn't do a once a time thing, its reoccurs.

What has happened in America where we tend to care more about the bully than the bullied? lol pussification at its best
Kasic
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Kasic
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Sad thing is, by the time some of the students that have been in the news got to step 4 they committed suicide.


If it was that bad, involving teachers/parents should have been skipped to. It also would have been apparent that they were depressed/needing help. Likely there were other issues at play too.

At some point we have to stop "thinking" about what the bully needs, and deal with the bully himself/herself.


Obviously.

I bully doesn't do a once a time thing, its reoccurs.


Please refer back to my previous posts, I am well aware of this.

"There are three parts to what defines an action to be bullying: Imbalance of power is the most important. There is then actions or words which are intended to cause harm emotionally or physically. Lastly, it must be chronic."

What has happened in America where we tend to care more about the bully than the bullied? lol pussification at its best


What has happened where people are too self righteous and arrogant to consider that the bully is the source of the problem and that treating the source is the most effective way to the solution? What has happened to the fact that many bullies are victims themselves?

If you can fix the bully, all of their victims will be left in peace. If you fix the victims, you're patching up holes while your ship is under fire.

Things go far deeper than you realize.
MattEmAngel
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MattEmAngel
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1) Stop doing whatever it is that you're being bullied for. This is the most simple solution. If you can't stop then ignore this.


That's questionable. Usually whatever you're doing is harmless, i.e. using his favorite swing, or just standing around.

2) Confront the bully, but not in a violent or antagonistic way. They may not be aware that what they are doing is bothering you. If they don't stop after you do this, move on to the next point.


That's true. Sometimes it's just a guy who thinks he's being cool and doesn't realize he's really being a pain, but again, that depends on how violent he's already been.

3) Ignore the bully. If you stop responding to their taunts, they'll lose interest. If after a few weeks they don't stop, move on.


I agree with you on that one. If he can't get attention, it's no fun. Especially useful when other kids are around.

4) Involve teachers/parents/friends and ask them for their support. At this point you have taken every reasonable action against the bully that will not get you in trouble. Teachers/parents have much more authority than your friends and will be able to help you far better.


Definitely. Adults usually solve the problem. However, I have to offer another solution:

5.) Have someone superior to the bully reason with him. The bully is more inclined to leave you alone when he knows someone else is capable of doing the same to him. Violence can be avoided entirely, as well as potential complications that come with telling an adult, unless the adult in question wants to take the "Bigger than you" approach.

I'm not saying "have a big brother snap the bully's arm in half." Just knowing that the BIG brother is looking out for his little brother is a very effective tool.
Vendablebow
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Vendablebow
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^ this is what I said a page ago and was blasted for it. Just intervene if you can, it doesn't have to be violent. He just has to know that someone larger than him, can do something about it if it continues.

Kasic
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Kasic
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That's questionable. Usually whatever you're doing is harmless, i.e. using his favorite swing, or just standing around.


Hence the qualifier.

5.) Have someone superior to the bully reason with him. The bully is more inclined to leave you alone when he knows someone else is capable of doing the same to him. Violence can be avoided entirely, as well as potential complications that come with telling an adult, unless the adult in question wants to take the "Bigger than you" approach.


The problem with that is when that person is not around, they may still bully the victim.

Just intervene if you can, it doesn't have to be violent. He just has to know that someone larger than him, can do something about it if it continues.


I don't recall anyone saying you were wrong to suggest the victim seek help. I only said that doing that with violence wouldn't help.
SubZero007
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SubZero007
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Just jumping in on the discussion here. Many times bullying is often mislabeled. In actuality, bullying is repeated abuse of multiple instances after being told to stop. Lots of people believe that just one instance of a rude comment or other harassment is bullying. My personal thoughts on bullying is that if it's cyber bullying or verbal abuse, just try to ignore that person until you can distance yourself from that person. However, if that person physically touches you, run away or get help. However, if none of the other options are available to you, punch them in the mouth. Bullies rarely expect resistance.

MattEmAngel
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MattEmAngel
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I agree with SubZero, especially on bullies not expecting resistance.

The problem with that is when that person is not around, they may still bully the victim.


True, but just barely. A particularly bold bully may convince himself that the older brother will never come back, but usually that isn't a problem. Kids being bullied sometimes say "Just wait til my big brother finds out!" which doesn't usually work because they're bluffing. When a big brother DOES show up, it changes the game.
157C
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157C
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Everyone I appreciate your support but some kids are completely messed up with these kinds of situations. Ex: thepunisher93 is completely messed up when it comes to this stuff. Fight fire with fire? Unbelievable. Please try to ignore these people and just talk about bullying.

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