Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Periodic Poetry Contest - Theme: Touch of Truth (Page 390, due Jan. 28)

Actually, you know what?! I'll judge all of this post-new theme poetry after mine! This should abide your thirst for Ubertuna's judging momentarily, so submit your poetry below this reply/ post of mine and I shall judge, give you tips, what I think, and a rating between 1 and 10. 1 being the worst, 10 being the best! Have fun!

Very short poem here, since I have not yet posted a poem on AG. Here is my first.

[/b]Winter[b]

Frosted trees
gusty winds
bleak sunlight
the firewood's in.

Scarves are on
mittens too
there's a long way
'til Spring's anew.

Sniffles and coughs
all season long
the cold is mighty
but we are strong.

Around a fire
gathered we are
as the night gets darker
star by star.

Excellent rhyme and meter, Luffi. However, you might want to include some punctuation to better indicate artistic pauses and breaks next time. I could deduce it, but it might be better next time to indicate with a comma short pauses, periods breaks, and so on. The configuration of the last rhyme (are/star) makes the prose seem a little odd with the "gathered we are." In an otherwise very grammatical poem it seems to bend the syntax a little too much. Very good though.

Yeah, I haven't had any learning in poetry. I'm just good at the abcb pattern.

*uses magic to invoke judging*
----------
Judge my poem from some pages back!

I don't think magic is enough, alt. I think we need to do this:
*invokes THE POWERS OF THE UNIVERSE to start the judging*

It's still not judged T.T

*invokes THE POWERS OF THE UNIVERSE to start the judging*

Awww man. No wonder its not judged. I invoke THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE again!

From THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE:
We deny your request because of lazyness.

NOOOOO! THE POETRY CONTEST MUST BE JUDGED!

*joins THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE*
Wow, we are lazy. *falls of chair in slumber*

SOMNABULUS! COME SMITE THEM WITH YOUR MIGHTY POWER!

I was this bored, yes > >

Thisisnotanalt

A deft squirrel skittering down a limb
through beautiful leaves, the sunlight is dimmed.
A grotto concealed from the grasp of time,
even mentioning it's existence would be a crime.
A pristine spring in the middle of this circle of life,
a creek cuts through it like a salient knife.
As Eden this place is,
when I leave, this place I will miss.
Leaves as green as emerald in the sun,
A great favor, this land's been done.
The grass stands so strong and surly,
the dandelions white and pearly.
and to leave this land taxes so great a cost,
believe it or not, I don't like the poetry of Robert Frost.

Breathing

I have heard tales of a place.
A place of many heart.
Where the people are friendly,
And the animals are nice.
They will come up to you with no hint of fear,
Yes ever the lion together with a young deer.

A place where you can lay,
With your face to the sky
Watching the clouds pass by.
Where the earth is green
And unchanging.

They say in this place,
If you lay down
With you back against the ground.
You can feel the earth breathing
As if its heart were beating

A place where life is unending
Where rain falls in brilliant hue
A place just for you

True Peace

Slid my hand across the rough bark
Could not see, the sky too dark.
I could hear rustling up above
The grass under my feet, ah, this was true love.

No humans near, no engine roar,
Just standing here, my heart does soar!
I cannot see, that matters not
What I found was what I sought.

A peaceful place where I can be me
With no one yelling on the large TV.
No mind rotting temptations or addicting allusions,
Just me and Earth, that's my resolution.

What she made for me, the ground and the sky
Don't need a piece of metal to make myself fly.
My soul is joyous, my mind at ease
This is the meaning of true peace.

Clouds

The clouds wonder up above so high
Soaring through the sky
All alone without a care
Floating above without despair.

As their rain drops roar down
Its beauty shows
As the brisk wind majestically blows.

All of a sudden, no sound
No movement on the ground

One look up above
Soaring like a dove

Clouds scatter throughout the sky
I watch them linger above so high
They wonder around without a care
Leaving me thinking without despair.

<>A Land of Fallen Hopes<>

rock music plays in disarray
within the deep forest
little animals play

colors streaming from every tree
guitars rock out,
the birds fly free

with the rainbow rivers flowing
in his eyes of doubt
everything is glowing

staring up into the starry night
in the distance,
a fight breaks out

the trees stood tall
valiant might
alas the effort,
they did fall.

Misconceptions

there once was a brick.
not imagy enough for ya??
there once was a red brick.

Edge

I stand on the edge
only darkness I see
I have a feeling
light there should be

where is the bird
oh where is the tree
here is nothing
only darkness I see

thou spoke of happiness
I took it in
but when the time came
there was nothing

oh dear child
lay down your head
take the final step
and you will be dead

you come to the edge
only darkness you see
no matter what they say
not a single tree

I've dwelt among the hidden sands
In deserts wide and promised lands.
I've clambered up the rocky face
Of sandstone cliffs in secret place.

Although the day is very hot,
I found myself a shady spot:
A place wherein there blows a draft
From outside through a natural shaft.

From my vantage point I see
Beaten grass but not a tree.
Still, it lends a greenish sight
To a land of crimson light.

Imagine then, my great surprise
When I see life before my eyes.
A scorpion clattered, on its way,
To live or die another day.

Red sand, red sun, red blood, red heat
Combine to make this land complete
Until the summer rain arrives
To mold rock and beget new lives.

But I am not the only one
To see the thread of life here spun
On barefoot climbs and pilgrim trails:
The mother of a thousand tales.

It was no wonder that the sons
Of Nephi thought themselves the ones
That God had blessed; David's scion
Had led them to eternal Zion.

The Woodpecker

The woodpecker is hunting
seeking, searching, digging
for bugs to ease his hunger
in the dead of winter

His red painted head bobs
as he searches loudly
echoing through the forest
hunting his prey

He avoids the berries
red, poisonous, deadly
they grow next to him
as he bores holes in the bark
rough, scraping, clinging

A new hunter comes
crashing through the undergrowth
he flies, he flees, running
from this new danger

His feathers are cold
as he rushes through the frigid air
Suddenly, he is hurt, he hides
shivering, whimpering, frigid

All is dark.
silent, heavy, black

He feels warm hands
warm, whispering, wondering
He opens one beady eye

New hunters have come
but they help
heal, repair, aid
his wing so he can fly and hunt again.

The Lost World

Upon the night stars, a brilliant show
of lights has come
Caught lying down in the snow
sings death to some
But the sirens sing of life today
To shed tears of last depth today

Upon silver sheets and plasmic fluid stuck to arm
A man, in vegetable, has had his harm
And crimson waves of flustered scrubs
Means death to some

But to sing in praise is to sing too early
For this man will not awake
But to take that plug, would surely be
a piece of cake

A form of torture of unable flare
Or without love, hate and even scare
The lack of any trait fluidly,
Is the lack of any ingenuity

Just say the words, and you will make it
For this life we have is sacred
And you will take it for granted
Until you cannot man it

So sit down, and take that toast
This man will no longer be comatose
Because 6 feet under will truly mean
That this man now, R.I.P

The land of the Few

in the land of the few
any man from the name of bob to cew
knows of the pink dogs
they run with the blue hogs

they rule the east
they are truly beast
any one runs in fear
to not get the look of the peer

but in the west
there was a man he was the best
he saved them from the dogs
and all the hogs

now the dogs run from the man
and the hogs dart from the man named pam
he loves to be scary
they let him be

Wandering effortlessly through the land,
A wooden stick held tight in his hand.
The traveller searches for his home.

He wanders through valleys, deep and wide,
Wonders at strange creatures found inside,
Yet he continues to roam.

The sky crashes with thunder as he walks,
The rain falls as to the animals he talks,
Yet through it all he stands.

The trees fall and the rocks crumble,
The wind whips and the sky does rumble,
He holds it all in his hands.

The sea's foam sprays the rocky cliff,
Waves rising high around his small skiff.
The outside is rough but he is calm.

Walking down the road
So lost from wealth
Thinking of nothing
Minding yourself

Plans in progress
Sickly dreams from before
Sickly thoughts of a murder
But it helps so much more!

Walking this distance
In dreams and for real
This is the last practice
That closes the deal

Life is a meaningless dream
You can yell and you can scream
But no one ever hears your cries
No one brings light to the lies
You can bang your fists on the door
But there's nothing there, nothing more
God won't let you out of this prison
Until you doubt your own decisions
You shall trust in his mighty power
And to his figure you will cower

This is Armageddon

Winter

Frosted trees
gusty winds
bleak sunlight
the firewood's in.

Scarves are on
mittens too
there's a long way
'til Spring's anew.

Sniffles and coughs
all season long
the cold is mighty
but we are strong.

Around a fire
gathered we are
as the night gets darker
star by star.

Well that was a first attempt...