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The Book of Breakfastarianism
Commandments: And the Lord spoke thusly:
1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast. 2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious. 3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts. 4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast. 5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.
The Beggining
In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling. Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast. He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and satiated, the Lord then went on His way.
Fo'give me lawd, I have sinned. I have not eaten breakfast in a total of 9 days excluding these nasty lookin' heatin' toaster thingeh's. Fo'give me awmitey lawd.
Hey, Ricador. If you want to be ejected from the backside of the Almighty in the Great Bowel Movement with the rest of the heretics then be my guest! Harumph!
May breakfast be blessed forever!!! I will try my best to becomne a breakfastarian. I savor every bite of breakfast....but I do so covet mine neighbors seat among which he eats his breakfast in wehich I so much covet!
