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The Book of Breakfastarianism
Commandments: And the Lord spoke thusly:
1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast. 2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious. 3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts. 4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast. 5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.
The Beggining
In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling. Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast. He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and satiated, the Lord then went on His way.
There livethed in Heaven, the Lord and his Angles, where breakfast was cookethed By the Lord every morning for all the Angles.
But, one fateful night, an Angle was Hungry. So he sneakethed into the Holy Kitchen, where he did raid the Holy Refrigerator.
Upon enteringith the Holy Refrigerator, he stoleth 2 Holy Eggs to cook for himself on the Holy Frying Pan.
But, he forgot to turneth off the Holy Infrared Beam, and an alarmeth went off, warning the Lord of this thief.
The wrath of the Lord was Great. He tooketh the Angle up in his arms, and he spoke unto him "You haveth disobeyed me." Upon which the Lord ate the Angle.
But, the angle gaveth the Lord a bad case of indigestion, so the Lord spat him outeth, and cast him into the bowels of the Earth.
Now, any who do not obey the wishes of the Lord shall be casteth down to the realm of that cursed angle, and be stucketh there for eternity, eating overcooked lunches.
So, now you know you musteth obey the whims of the Lord, lest you be casteth down into the bowels of the earth.
Lol hojoko you've added eth to every third word in that holy text. Nice religion I will not join becuase I can not promise to eat breakfast every day but will continue to admire it and the people that belive in it.....
Well I for one support Pastafarianism D:<, which is the belief of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. But Breakfastarianism is nice also >. When first looked at it I found it was a joke but people got serious about it so I decided not to. However this might spore the start of other [silly] religions, but I'm fine with that nonetheless. Thank you Voidy, for introducing all of us to your...unique...religion. Maybe one day it will have its own Bible-like book and holidays....where you eat breakfast the whole day
This a a great topic. i have laughed a lot reading peoples comments. i would liek to join but i can, i havn't had breakfast for about 3-4 years. Getting up and doing paper roundthen to school just dont have time. but i will suport the Breakfastarian people.
ok bigbowla showed me this and i thought it is something intelligent but a guid about BREAKFAST!??!?!??!? WTF? well i am not welcome here i never eat breakfast
