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The Book of Breakfastarianism
Commandments: And the Lord spoke thusly:
1) Thou shall not have any meals before breakfast. 2) Thou shall not forget to eat breakfast and thou shalt keep it delicious. 3) Thou shall not make wrongful use of breakfast by eating instant or pre-made breakfasts. 4) Thou shall not steal food from your neighbors plate at breakfast. 5) Thou shall not covet your neighbors breakfast nor his seat in the booth by the window.
The Beggining
In the beggining of time, there was nothing. But then came forth a mighty rumbling. Twas the stomach of the Lord, and He was famished. So He spoke. And He did say "Let there be light!" And the universe was washed with light, for the Lord could not make His meal in the dark. He then made all the stars in the sky and all the planets surrounding them because He thought they looked very nice. In doing so, He made a cluster of stars and planets he named the Milkyway for it sounded tasty. This galaxy became His favourite, so He made a decision: He going to create a planet with man upon it so they too could see the beauty he Made. After seven days and nights, the Lord was done making the planet and man. And the Lord did grin. And the Lord then did feast. He ate the skies, stars and the planets. He then spoke "This way, I shall always be able to watch over and protect man along with the universe around him." Feeling accomplished and satiated, the Lord then went on His way.
Still, I wish It could be just as easy as eating Pancakes to attone for your sins. The dough and bread industries would be booming and crime's go off the roof.
I shall partake in no meals before Breakfast, and shall give a moment of each day to worship the mighty croissant, and the holy bean of coffee, before I so ravenously consume them.
In the long long ago, some cults broke off from the main Church of Breakfastarianism. The church leaders at the time hired mercenaries who slaughtered the infidels mercilessly. Clearly, breakfast is the holiest of meals without question and anyone opposed to the doctrine will be struck down where they stand. Mostly because it would be hard to strike someone down in a place where they are not... I mean, unless it was some sort of quantum fluctuation - the pendulum effect Anyway, the short answer is NO
*stands at attention with her fork at side, eyes peeled to attack any who dare defy the wishes of her deity, the grouping of foodstuffs that be Breakfast*
I admit that breakfast is a wonderful time of day, but...
-Religion is the opium of the masses. -Religion is the impotence of the human mind to deal with occurrences it cannot understand. -Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. Karl Marx
Wonderful man... Perhaps i am wrong about religion though, maybe breakfastarianism is a good idea. Tell me more and i may be turned.
