A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
A man buys this new Ferrari prototype that pushes 300 miles an hour easily. It cost him a good few million bucks. Well he is rich and likes to show it off. So he is cruising around town one day and stops at a light. Next to him is a goofy 80-year-old man on a motor scooter wearing bowling shoes, suspenders, big glasses, and with blue hair. The old man is really impressed:
"Is that a Ferrari?"
"Yep, the latest one, it cost me several millions."
"Wow, could I take a look inside it."
"Sure be my guest, you know this thing can do over 300 mph."
So the old man leans over and takes a look in the Ferrari. The light turns green and the man decides to show the old guy what his car can do. Sure enough his car is over 300mph in 25 seconds. He looks in his rear view mirror and notices a dot way in the distance; it appears to be getting larger. The man is wondering what could possible be faster than my Ferrari. He slows down a little and whoosh, something zips by him. A few seconds later, whoosh, the fast blur reversed directions and nearly hit him head on. The man, really puzzled stops his car as he hears a final boom. His car is rear-ended and he gets out to see what that fast blur was. There he sees the old man and his motor scooter hanging onto dear life. "How could that motor scooter have dusted me?" thinks the man. But concerned for the old mans health he asks:
"Are you all right, is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man gasps, "Yeah, you can unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror."
As final exams neared, two students, very confident of their A averages in Chemistry class, decided to spend a weekend enjoying the social life of a nearby college. Although their Chemistry final was the first thing Monday morning they were reasonably certain they could pull it off. After a very late Sunday evening they overslept and did not arrive back on campus until Monday afternoon. In the hopes of avoiding failing the exam the two decided to tell their professor that they had a flat tire on the way back to campus. Sympathetic to the situation, the professor allowed them to make up the exam. After being seated in different rooms the two opened their exam books and began working. The first question, for 25 points, was a simple question on fusion. When they turned the page to answer the next question, however, both students shared the same look of despair though they were seated in different rooms. 75 point question: Which tire was flat?
