Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → The Neverending Story

Commander: The base is ours.

General: Excellent! What is that noise!

Soldier: *Coughs* Toxins... Arghh!

General: Contaminants! Close off the area. We need to eliminate those bastards who escaped. Their location?

Commander: An animal shelter.

General: Perfect. Zero in on them with aircraft. Simultaneously bombard the shelter. If they still do not surrender, send in the armor.

Scout: An enemy army headed towards our location.

General : Give 'em hell!

P: Ah f@q!!! What are we going to do?!
D: I sent out the reTardz.
P: Good, good... Ah... What are we gonna do...
D: Uh... I remember earlier you were talking about a missile grid or something...
P: Yes, yes... Gah! The controls are at the BioLab... I hope Frank and Argen are defending it well...
-BioLab-
F: F@Q!! There's too many!!! I gotta activate the self-destruct...
*screaming, gunfire, explosions*
F: Activate self-destruct sequence.
-Password required-
F: Ok, password... 2580
-Self-destruct sequence initiated//Commence self-destruct in T-10... 9... 8...

Commander: Withdraw!

*Facility self-destructs*

Commander: Thank goodness. General!

General: Commander! zzzt. What the hell is going on?

Commander: The lab has self-destruct!

General: That's bad. I expect you to destroy the fleeing personnel of the facility.

Commander: Yes sir!

*At the animal shelter*

Crazed Commander: Ha! Animals! Kill all the infidels!

Commando: There's gunfire everywhere! Take cover!

General: You have orders to initiate Emergency Procedure #666!

Crazed Commander: Affirmative! Send in the beast!

Defender: It's a light in the sky! A laser! Run!

Defender 2: It burns! Arghh!

Crazed Commander: Hahahahaha! Charge once the laser dies down! Rip their limbs of their torsos! Remove their scalps! Impale them!

Commando: Sir, are you crazy!

Crazed Commander: Yes, yes I am. Now go!

Defense Commander: Oh crap! They're coming to rip us into shreds.

Defender: Don't worry we will be.. Arghh! Don't rip me!

Defense Commander's Aide: They ripped his limbs off?

Crazed Soldier: Hahaha!

Defense Commander: This will be bad.

-Animal Shelter-
P: Oh, s***! They're advancing! I gotta see if Frank saved the virus...
*pulls out phone, dials number, ringing*
-Your call has been forwarded to: 770-161-//
P: D***IT!!!
D: What are we going to do! They're gonna kill us!!
P: Don't worry... I've sent a message to the enemies page... Hopefully he will accept my truce.
D: Well... I guess we just gotta wait it out, then...
-BioLab-
~Almost everything has been destroyed. There are bodies everywhere, empty reminders of what had happened only a few moments before. In the midst of the destruction, a gargantuan glass box stands erect and immobile, stained by the blood of fallen soldiers. In the box, a lone figure lies unconscious...~
F: *moan* What the... Where am I?
~A rush of memories flood suddenly into the young man's mind~
F: I remember... I hope everyone is ok...

*After a lengthy duel*

Defense Commander: No! That is my liver you are ripping out!

Crazed Commander: Yes! Haha! We have one!

Defense Commander: Ahhh.

Crazed Commander: We have one liver! And we have won!

General: Good work. *To himself* He really is crazed. Mental readjustment technology will do.

General: Greetings your majesty.

Emperor: General, I see another one of the foes of the Empire has been crushed. I congratulate you. You and your forces are to withdraw indefinitely. You are going to be assigned to fight the pesky Alliance troops who do not respect our rightful ownership of their planet.

General: Affirmative! All hail!

Commander: *To himself* Farewell foes. I swear I will kill you when I return.

Crazed Commander: And I will rip the organs of their leaders out!

Commander: Did you read my mind?

Crazed Commander: Yes.

General: Men! We have won! Now, proceed to your transports so that we may depart this wretched planet!

Men: Hurray!

General: It is time to leave now. We will be back you fools! Be ready!

-Animal Shelter-
P: They're... They're gone... Thank God...
*Pois0n falls to his knees*
D: It's over? We're... Not dead?
P: No. But someone might be, if we don't make it back to the lab in time...
-One hour later//BioLab Remains-
~A figure is seen running towards the glass box, soon joined by two others. One of the figures steps up to the box and opens the door~
F: Pois0n? And... And Dark and Argen? Where have you been?
P: Dark and I were pinned down at the animal shelter...
A: And I was hiding a mile or so back from the lab. That was quite an explosion... I thought you were dead.
F: Well, I'm here, ain't I? Now help me up... I think the effects of the virus have worn off.
A: Oh, yeah. Here you go, Pois0n.
*hands over the vial*
P: Yeah... Thanks... //whisper//: I have a feeling... Those guys will be back, some day...
~The young man stares out into the horizon, thinking about what events may lie ahead~
-----------------------
You know... This would make for a great story... *gets paper and pencil, scribbling sounds*

"Oh, ninja'd :P"
F: The war's over, Dark!
"And I already called writing a story about it!"
F: So nya!

Captain : I have recently acquired this piece of a treasure map.

Lieutenant: Map? Treasure? Plunder?

Pirate: Gold?

Crew: Gold? GOLD!

Captain: Shhh! This is 1/4 of a Spanish treasure map.

Lieutenant: Where are the other pieces of the map?

Captain: Right here, in this town. We are going to plunder and loot this place!

*A few hours later*

Guards: Pirate scum!

Pirates: Charge!

Scout: Sir, pirates!

Governor: Pirates, those gold hungry savages!

Scout: Look out! *Explosion*

Governor: Argghhhh!

Captain: Hahaha! My dear Governor, do you know of the lost Spanish treasure?

Governor: *Trembling* No, not at all.

Captain: Hehe. You liar. Where is the portion of the map in your possession?

Governor: I do not have it.

Guard: I shall prote.. Ahh!

Pirate: Hahaha!

Pirates: Hahaha!

Governor: Here it is.

Captain: Thank you for you cooperation. Kill him.

Pirate: My pleasure. *Shoots governor*

Governor: Ouch! You will... *Falls through window, drowns in water*

Captain: Good. Loot everything of value!

Sheep: I hate you
Cow: I hate you too
Sheep: Your constipated
Cow: No you are
Sheep: Now, no need to resort to diarrhea
Cow: No, YOU!
Sheep: ....
Cow: Why did the sheep cross the road?
Sheep: Uh, it was constipated?
Cow: Correct!
Sheep: That was random, and that joke made no sense to...
Cow: No, YOU!

Mike: WTF...that's one weird beef :P

Spike: Yeah...Turn him into BBQ, sheep

Hey, just for the sake of it, has anyone read Sleeper Code? It has a surprising resemblance to this.

Alt: Much has happened here since I took my NES hiatus. . . .

N: Definitely Alt...Since we got back...lots of...inhumane things have been used on the NES thread. We're missing its true essence...It's true spark...
D: No one seems 'real' barmy anymore...just plain...nuts...

zlith: huh I wonder why this is getting off topic
VISE: hey zlith, wacha doin
zlith: O just trying to- WAIT A MINUTE
VISE: what?
zlith: what are you doing here?
VISE: why shouldn't I be here?
zlith: you live in the future.
VISE: I do?
zlith: yes haven't you noticed that you are almost always living in a post apocolyptic world.
VISE: don't forget my vacations to midevil times.
zlith: all the more the reason you shouldn't be here.
VISE: HEY ALL THE PLACES I MOVE TO GET LOST BYOND 10 PAGES. :'(
zlith: XD
VISE: *points at himself* don't you cry on me. you cry and you are WORTHLESS
zlith: don't get so dramatic
VISE: Why
zlith: I said so
VISE: your not the boss of me!
zlith: yes I am I can kill you by not posting were you live so you don't exist
VISE: :O
zlith: >
VISE: OK FINE. here we go. I am sad. I don't like to cry. you are the boss of me. alt can overule you in this though.
zlith: thats bette- HEY
VISE: >