Yes, it is that time of the year again. The time when Jesus returns as a zombie and roams the Afrikan wilderness, infecting people as he goes. How did you think Christianity spreads so fast? Duh, Zombie Jesus bites. But we also must recite the story of the whole rabbit and eggs thing to explain this event.
So it all starts when Jesus finally died on the cross. After everyone was done looking at him, crying, throwing rocks or whatever and left...the rabbits came out from hiding. In the darkness of the night, they implanted a rabbit egg into the dead body of Jesus(Right about where the Spear of Destiny stabbed him), Back then, rabbits still layed eggs because they had not evolved enough yet. Yet this was no normal egg...it was the egg of their den mother Riet T'Uar(who, as everyone knows, was a lich). After they took down the body of Jesus and brought him to his "final" resting place..the egg started to develop. Three days later(the normal deveoplment time for rabbit eggs), the egg hatched! And so was born Eas T'Uar(which was bastardized years later to the now recognized "Easter". He then thusly took control of the dead body and wandered around outside. Despite was might be recorded in some holy texts, he did not go speak to the people and such. He just went around and started to attack people inorder to increase the power of rabbit society. All these people were that were attacked contracted the undead rabbit disease "Mortuus Cuniculus Morbus." Symptoms include deep-seeded belief in one subject, hate to others not of their kind/ailment, stupidity, desires to be with large numbers of their kind/ailment weekly, etc.. All traits shown by rabbits(all they can think about it rabbit-sex, rabbits hate anything not a rabbit, rabbits like to be in large groups for security, etc..)
However, man caught on to this ploy. They then twisted, bent and used this to their advantage in order to spread the name of their man-lord, Jesus Christ. They also learned how to control Eas T'Uar through uses of carrots, rabbit-sex photos and big pointy things. Now the last of his kind(All other undead rabbits that laid eggs were exterminated during the Spanish Inquisition) and enslaved by the Cathloic Church, he wanders around the world once a year to spread his disease and thus spreading Christianity.
The whole point was that the traditional easter practices make no sense, and are not even based in Christian beleifs. They stole the time of year and much of the holiday in general from an existing pagan one.
And waste my time? I wrote that over a year ago, and it took me 5 minutes. Tops. Sure, you know. I am sure you have a lot more to do on an Easter. Like, you know, be on an online forum about games and other nonsense. That is good way to spend time.
kinda blasphemy, i mean, i'm not preaching the gospel to every creature or anything, but i have to say this is kinda.......(wats thw word)u know wat i mean...
