Yes, it is that time of the year again. The time when Jesus returns as a zombie and roams the Afrikan wilderness, infecting people as he goes. How did you think Christianity spreads so fast? Duh, Zombie Jesus bites. But we also must recite the story of the whole rabbit and eggs thing to explain this event.
So it all starts when Jesus finally died on the cross. After everyone was done looking at him, crying, throwing rocks or whatever and left...the rabbits came out from hiding. In the darkness of the night, they implanted a rabbit egg into the dead body of Jesus(Right about where the Spear of Destiny stabbed him), Back then, rabbits still layed eggs because they had not evolved enough yet. Yet this was no normal egg...it was the egg of their den mother Riet T'Uar(who, as everyone knows, was a lich). After they took down the body of Jesus and brought him to his "final" resting place..the egg started to develop. Three days later(the normal deveoplment time for rabbit eggs), the egg hatched! And so was born Eas T'Uar(which was bastardized years later to the now recognized "Easter". He then thusly took control of the dead body and wandered around outside. Despite was might be recorded in some holy texts, he did not go speak to the people and such. He just went around and started to attack people inorder to increase the power of rabbit society. All these people were that were attacked contracted the undead rabbit disease "Mortuus Cuniculus Morbus." Symptoms include deep-seeded belief in one subject, hate to others not of their kind/ailment, stupidity, desires to be with large numbers of their kind/ailment weekly, etc.. All traits shown by rabbits(all they can think about it rabbit-sex, rabbits hate anything not a rabbit, rabbits like to be in large groups for security, etc..)
However, man caught on to this ploy. They then twisted, bent and used this to their advantage in order to spread the name of their man-lord, Jesus Christ. They also learned how to control Eas T'Uar through uses of carrots, rabbit-sex photos and big pointy things. Now the last of his kind(All other undead rabbits that laid eggs were exterminated during the Spanish Inquisition) and enslaved by the Cathloic Church, he wanders around the world once a year to spread his disease and thus spreading Christianity.
But hey! You know what...come to think of it,there is no proof either that Jesus was actually born on December 25th. Of that he was born of a virgin mother. Or that he even existed. Or that the world was created in seven days.
well lets see now........there was several MILLION witnesses..............would that count as proof? And if he never actually existed, then the people would never let those lieing books called the bible be believed for so long. they people would have stopped the rumors maybe a few years on.
But hey! This is going way off topic. And I already said I have no desire to go on with this. I just want people to read my story, get a laugh and what have you.
@devoidless, Sorry this is a little late because i just saw that more people were talking about this topic, but i saw your post how the world wasn't created in seven days and i just wanted to argue a point that i have about that.
The world wasn't created in seven days in the literal sense, a day could have been a million years, after all, according to the bible, the sun and moon wasn't even created till the 3rd day. So a day to God may have been a million or more years to us...thats just what i think
and that was a pretty funny joke...it must've taken a long time to type out
did u know that it should b called passover but the catholics tried converting pegans into the catholic faith by calling it easter it just made it bad and eastar is what it was 2 b a pegan holiday confused 4 passover no where in the bible does it say the word easter
Or someone should learn to take to see humour in such a thing. If someone could explain in a decent, coherent manner why they are getting so up in arms about this, go for it.
