Yes, it is that time of the year again. The time when Jesus returns as a zombie and roams the Afrikan wilderness, infecting people as he goes. How did you think Christianity spreads so fast? Duh, Zombie Jesus bites. But we also must recite the story of the whole rabbit and eggs thing to explain this event.
So it all starts when Jesus finally died on the cross. After everyone was done looking at him, crying, throwing rocks or whatever and left...the rabbits came out from hiding. In the darkness of the night, they implanted a rabbit egg into the dead body of Jesus(Right about where the Spear of Destiny stabbed him), Back then, rabbits still layed eggs because they had not evolved enough yet. Yet this was no normal egg...it was the egg of their den mother Riet T'Uar(who, as everyone knows, was a lich). After they took down the body of Jesus and brought him to his "final" resting place..the egg started to develop. Three days later(the normal deveoplment time for rabbit eggs), the egg hatched! And so was born Eas T'Uar(which was bastardized years later to the now recognized "Easter". He then thusly took control of the dead body and wandered around outside. Despite was might be recorded in some holy texts, he did not go speak to the people and such. He just went around and started to attack people inorder to increase the power of rabbit society. All these people were that were attacked contracted the undead rabbit disease "Mortuus Cuniculus Morbus." Symptoms include deep-seeded belief in one subject, hate to others not of their kind/ailment, stupidity, desires to be with large numbers of their kind/ailment weekly, etc.. All traits shown by rabbits(all they can think about it rabbit-sex, rabbits hate anything not a rabbit, rabbits like to be in large groups for security, etc..)
However, man caught on to this ploy. They then twisted, bent and used this to their advantage in order to spread the name of their man-lord, Jesus Christ. They also learned how to control Eas T'Uar through uses of carrots, rabbit-sex photos and big pointy things. Now the last of his kind(All other undead rabbits that laid eggs were exterminated during the Spanish Inquisition) and enslaved by the Cathloic Church, he wanders around the world once a year to spread his disease and thus spreading Christianity.
I should be banned? For that? Wow. I simply do not know what else to say.
Thank god some other people know that easter was a pagan holiday.
Most of the holidays Christianity took over from paganism end up a little odd in the end. A lot is lost in translation, and end up being mix-and-match holidays.
Most of the holidays Christianity took over from paganism end up a little odd in the end. A lot is lost in translation, and end up being mix-and-match holidays.
I find that very odd too, because Christianity disowns pagans from their church.
Plus Christmas used to be a pagan holiday too, but it was eventually converted to Christmas because Christians were unoriginal.
This has been by far the most entertaining story, and subsequent conversation I have ever seen on this website. Thanks Devoidless, I will treasure that story for the rest of my life...maybe I will relay it to my kid on the way in October.
I am a Christian and I believe that Jesus rose from the tomb after three days and that is what Christians celebrate Easter about. not about a little bunny and eggs
