ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
jezz
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jezz
3,337 posts
Farmer

Knew you would say that.
Saw this scene, sleeping, before...
Am I on replay?

I thought this one would be much more popular

Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

How did I know this?
The dream of a memory,
future memory.

Sorry Jezz, I read yours after completion = Efan no copy.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

My mind is not well (5)
un-bal-anc-ed and sick (6)
in-sane with night-mares (5)


Your middle line doesn't have the required number of sylabuls. And I was generous, assuming that 'unbalanced' had 4 sylabuls, instead of 3, depending on pronounciation. SO, you need to fix that.

All the others I've seen look good. Keep it up guys!

And I've lost track of whoever is judging this now. It seems to be constantly chaning. So, to whoever is currently judging, and to those who have ever judged, thanks, and keep up the good work!
IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
1,344 posts
Nomad

Spasms plague his mind,
Forever torturing him,
Ruining his thoughts.

Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

My mind is not well
psychologically sick
insane with nightmares


Much better. For future references though, I would capatalize the first letter of every line, and add some form of punctuation at the end of each. Like periods, commas, or (semi)colons. And as you get used to writing Haikus, you can start messing with enjabment and other devices.
Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,504 posts
Jester

And I've lost track of whoever is judging this now. It seems to be constantly chaning. So, to whoever is currently judging, and to those who have ever judged, thanks, and keep up the good work!


FallenSky's been on a small vacation for a while, so for the last 3-4 contests, I've been judge. Thanks for the praise!
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

FallenSky's been on a small vacation for a while, so for the last 3-4 contests, I've been judge. Thanks for the praise!


No problem. The thread hasn't been locked or anything, so obviously you guys are doing something right. :P

And what happened to Dudeguy? I thought he used to judge? And shayneii's gone, it would appear.
MusicGamer
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MusicGamer
2 posts
Nomad

im sorry to be the one but, music gamer is an absolute pedant lol, srry.


This is a veracious man.

I'm pedantic with what I write or type but not with the works of others.
Strop
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Strop
10,816 posts
Bard

I wasn't surprised to see most of the entries are about psychological angst.

Let's see if I can try something a little subtle:

I thought I was me,
But looked into the mirror,
And saw someone else.

Parsat
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Parsat
2,180 posts
Blacksmith

Hint: It's on everyone's favorite game.

A heated battle:
The fatal blow refreshes.
Lucky retrograde.

jaza_m
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jaza_m
1,356 posts
Nomad

The shadows of doubt,
Cloud himself and his vision.
What was he to do?

KingLemon
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KingLemon
600 posts
Nomad

A feint laughter heard
Quick! Over there! No wait, there!
I am surrounded!

might make another entry, but this is what i got for now!

CrossViper
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CrossViper
481 posts
Nomad

Are you okay miss?
Those were monsters, not children!
Why are you running?

Zaork
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Zaork
439 posts
Nomad

Time extraneous
Butchering data slowly
Contradicting rule

BlackSkullDragon
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BlackSkullDragon
161 posts
Peasant

I did as they said.
The orders were given by,
The crowd in my mind.

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