ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
KingLemon
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KingLemon
600 posts
Nomad

Its a Lily, but the flower only blooms for a day. So I'll be looking for that reflected in the Haiku's

mmk, that's what I thought. thanks.
acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

but the flower only blooms for a day


OOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Thank you for that! Here's my poem, please ignore the other one.

The One Day

All hope of me. Lost.
As not for long you will bloom.
Good Bye. See you soon.
invisibleninjagirl
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invisibleninjagirl
29 posts
Nomad

Don't worry, I found another way to fix it, other than go throguh and look at all the rules and exceptions and stuff like that :P I decided I'll just rewrite it all together, if that's ok. :/

Lily of Light

Lily, born to light.
Thrives, fighting against it's fate.
Lives only to die.

Please pardon the stupidity on my part. Thank you very much
See you next round!

KingLemon
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KingLemon
600 posts
Nomad

All hope of me. Lost.
As not for long you will bloom.
Good Bye. See you soon.

Don't you think soon and bloom is pushing it on the rhyming? It is in fact a slant rhyme I suppose.
Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

I'll just rewrite it all together, if that's ok. :/


You can rewrite it as many tiems as you want, as long as you state which one you'll be entering. Which you have, so you're good.
Nater
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Nater
1,296 posts
Nomad

Why must you tease me?
Beautiful, young Day Lily.
Your death is to quick.

Bluydee
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Bluydee
3,426 posts
Nomad

I HATE DAY LILIES
Mocking me every **** day
I will suicide!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

I will suicide!


This last line doesn't make any sense.

And is that your actual submission. Because this isn't joke poetry.
Bluydee
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Bluydee
3,426 posts
Nomad

This is.


I HATE DAY LILIES
Mocking me every day
I will suicide!

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

Mocking me every day


That's 6 syllables, not 7. Has to be 5-7-5.
idontsuckthatmuch
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idontsuckthatmuch
2,261 posts
Nomad

That's 6 syllables, not 7. Has to be 5-7-5.


Actually I think you can stretch it into 7:

Mo-cking me e-ver-e day

I'm no expert, so I might be wrong.
Quirinus1
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Quirinus1
157 posts
Shepherd

Actually I think you can stretch it into 7

What you say is correct.
EmperorPalpatine
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EmperorPalpatine
9,439 posts
Jester

What you say is correct.

Nope every link I've found says it's 2, not 3.
He could change it to "Mocking me every morning" or something like that.
Bluydee
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Bluydee
3,426 posts
Nomad

Then this is it.


I HATE DAY LILIES
Mocking me every **** day
I will suicide!

dudeguy45
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dudeguy45
2,917 posts
Peasant

Mocking me every **** day


I like Ev-er-eday better. Which is enough syllables.
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