ForumsArt, Music, and WritingHaiku Contest - Broken Bond (page 531, due: Feb 2)

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Maverick4
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Maverick4
6,800 posts
Peasant

A Haiku is a Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.

Well, that said, heres the rules:

1) The Haiku must be original (no plagarizing)!
2) It must fit the weeks theme
3) It must be submitted before the deadline
4) It must be submitted for the contest (no using works previously written)
5) One Submission per user
6) The Same User cannot win twice in a row (but there welcome to submit!)

Hopefully oneday the winner could get a merit...

The Deadline will always be a Wednsday, so the deadline for the first theme will be Wednsday, September 2. The theme is The Pond

(special thanks to 'thisisnotanalt'

  • 5,299 Replies
GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
15,595 posts
Herald

If I had to describe it. We are vivacious when others are quiescent.

Devoidless
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Devoidless
3,675 posts
Jester

Breath, blood, spirit, bone
Confined within hollow husk
Mortal coil made

Kyouzou
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Kyouzou
5,061 posts
Jester

Nicely done, maybe it's just me, but it seems almost biblical.

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
15,595 posts
Herald

Air, Earth, Fire, Water
Mucilage of the Universe
Origin of life

5,8,5....

Mu-ci-lage of the U-ni-verse
I got that off of a dictionary.
ExplosiveDynamite
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ExplosiveDynamite
316 posts
Nomad

but it seems almost biblical.


No.. I get that feeling too.

[quote]
5,8,5....

Mu-ci-lage of the U-ni-verse

Hmm.. now yours can't be my favorite..
aknerd
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aknerd
1,416 posts
Peasant

Live complications
Long for simple reduced life
Made of but four lies

Endscape
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Endscape
1,182 posts
Nomad

as wind whips my soul, and the fires burn my flesh, water cools my mind. im so srry if this looks horrible im on a psp so... spaceing is HARD.

Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,504 posts
Jester

Yeah you might wanna fix that a little bit, I'm not sure which line is which LOL!

Endscape
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Endscape
1,182 posts
Nomad

eeesh again im so srry but reading it straight across is the right way, srry.

jaza_m
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jaza_m
1,356 posts
Nomad

as wind whips my soul,
and the fires burn my flesh,
water cools my mind.



That didnt work as I intended. This is Endscape's btw.
Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,504 posts
Jester

Here, I'll do it manually, juuust for you:

As wind whips my soul,
and the fires burn my flesh,
water cools my mind.

Capitalized the A since I'm OCD on that sorta thing. Otherwise, everything should be as written.

Alriiight...today's the last day for entries before they are closed. Hurry up y'all~

BlackSkullDragon
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BlackSkullDragon
161 posts
Peasant

Fathers of the world,
Every creature from them comes,
As the ancients thought.

I hadn't realize that the deadline was so close. Luckily, I remembered on time.

ExplosiveDynamite
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ExplosiveDynamite
316 posts
Nomad

As wind whips my soul,
and the fires burn my flesh,
water cools my mind.


I think this one would probably win.. but that is just my thought.
Freakenstein
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Freakenstein
9,504 posts
Jester

Wowsers! That's a lot of entries! At any rate, it's time to judge! I think you guys are trying to kill me here...well! Time to pull stuff from Notepad:

Wood Award -- RayofLight:

Amalgamated,
Scattered throughout existence,
God's magnum opus.


The creation of the elements is the greatest work that God ever achieved, for it was the elements that created organic and non-organic materials. This sort of celebrates the making of the elements and the work that they do. They can do many, many things together, and yet we haven't even scratched the surface of unlocking the true potential of the elements. The thing with this is, the lines were too separated. There was nothing in the lines to really bring them together. The lines don't have to all be a part of one sentence, but they need to "co-exist" so to speak. First you have "amalgamated", which is to "fuse/bring together", then you have "scattered throughout existence". The two don't really go together in my opinion. Other than that, however, I found no other flaws and thought lines 2 and 3 were executed very nicely! Very good choice of words!

Iron Award -- Devoidless:

Breath, blood, spirit, bone
Confined within hollow husk
Mortal coil made


If anyone's confused, these are metaphorically the elements of a human being! Voidy almost creates this haiku in a sort of spell-like incantation by listing the ingredients needed for a human, binds them together, and creates life. At the end, the ingredients stop becoming non-living items and instead becomes vessels of an organic machine. It was very well executed, especially since lines 1 and 2 fit together.

Gold Award (Merit Winner) -- IcyIndia:

Endless, rushing past
Windows of shattering glass,
Water destructs all.


Water is arguably the most basic and least-required molecule known to man, and yet it can be the most destructive, if there is a high enough amount that is pushed by a strong enough force. Here, IcyIndia blends together the process, the end result, and the culprit of the destructive force known as water, very well might I add. It is not connected, but as written, the pauses are more effective.

Congratulations IcyIndia! Go contact a mod to receive your winnings! As for the contest itself, I had a few of good entries that could have been made into the Wood Award, but as such, there is only one, so I had to choose the one I thought was best. I didn't count very well, but did we really have ~15 entries? O_o

Theme: Psychological Occurrences (page 276)

Deadline: 1/27/11 (Thursday)

Judging: 1/28/11 (Friday)


*Clears Voice* *Dwarven dialect* Happeh Haikuin'!

ExplosiveDynamite
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ExplosiveDynamite
316 posts
Nomad

Congrats Icy! Good job to devoidless and RayofLight too.

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